Yeah... it is been a long time since I last posted... Anyway I want to share about a book that I was reading... It is titled:"Every Man, God's Man" by Stephen Arterburn and Kenny Luck... So yeah... thought it was a pretty cool book and bought it, started reading it thinking that it is just a book... How wrong I was.
The second chapter of this book was titled:"Our Divided Hearts" and the quoted verse struck me.
The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strenghten those whose hearts are fully commited to Him. [2 Chronicles 16:9]
I mean, when you read the verse, typical ppl would say that their hearts are fully commited, thus the above verse is related to them. But it got me thinking... I mean, thoughts just got into my mind, such as "Why am I serving the Music Ministry?", "Do I really have a heart for God?"... all these kind of questions that can seriously blow up your morale.
As I read further on in the chapter, it is talking about how people literally chiong forward, telling God, "I want to serve you!", but when they see the amount of time they have to spend serving etc. (a.k.a commitment), they start to break off from the service. So... what is a definition of "A Divided Heart"? Personally, I think that a divided heart is like the story about the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17-25. A divided heart is when part of you want to serve God, while the other part wants to serve the world. Example... my school life. A couple of months back, before God appeared to me, I always wanted to please my classmates so that I can scale up the Popularity Ladder. Pleasing my classmates is defined here as:Bullying the anti-social guy in the class, talking bad about ppl, agree with the Top Dogs whatever they say, even if it goes against your personal principles... That is the heart which wants to serve the world. I remember reading this from somewhere... not too sure where...
"If you serve the world, the world welcomes you. But if you want to run after Jesus, the world will despise you. Friends will turn away from you, calling you a weirdo and a supporter of nothingness"
I mean... in my case, this statement is pretty true. When I started witnessing (and during the exam period... a little weird right?) my "buddies" refuse to talk to me and they call me "Jesus freak", "Fanatic", even "Demon possesed". To God be the praise... He was protecting me all the way.
So, do we have divided hearts? I think soul searching and praying to God will help us answer the question... If we live according to the standards of the world, who are we living for? But if we live for Jesus, we will gain MUCH MUCH more compared to what the world can give...
Yeah... I'm also crapping too much... Signing off...
God rocks!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
hey alllll
ok yeah im posting cuz i think God kinda revealed something to me through my maid and stuffs.
so yeah. cuz i bought a pair of new shoes, and it like 'bit' the skin of my heels. so it really hurts unless i wear high socks ( which is never gonna happen )
so my maid was like. you must bite the new shoe (as in really bite it anywhere), so the shoe wont bite you. then i was like huh???? isnt that some old wives tale.
then when i was walking to church, i was still thinking about it. then it came to me like. the reason why people dont believe in God.
ok even though it might be really obvious sometimes e.g
(they want control of their own lives etc etc)
But yea i think i managed to see what the other non-christians see.
the point is. that they just don't believe it. and because God's miracles are like so incredible, it really can be super hard to just believe.
like..i didn't believe my maid at all about the biting shoe thing cuz...well firstly i thought, shoes can't respond. 2ndly, it just seemed so impossible, even though she said that she bites her shoes each time she buys a new pair.
wow im beating around the bush alot i think. i cant think straight now.
so its like... firstly, non-christians dont know that God responds, so they may be doubtful, as i was.
2ndly, God's miracles are so impossible and incredible, its so hard to believe sometimes as a non-christian even though you testify to them sometimes, and may seem a little crazy too.
oh well i dont know how meaningful it is to you guys but yeah.
i felt the need to post it :/
ok yeah im posting cuz i think God kinda revealed something to me through my maid and stuffs.
so yeah. cuz i bought a pair of new shoes, and it like 'bit' the skin of my heels. so it really hurts unless i wear high socks ( which is never gonna happen )
so my maid was like. you must bite the new shoe (as in really bite it anywhere), so the shoe wont bite you. then i was like huh???? isnt that some old wives tale.
then when i was walking to church, i was still thinking about it. then it came to me like. the reason why people dont believe in God.
ok even though it might be really obvious sometimes e.g
(they want control of their own lives etc etc)
But yea i think i managed to see what the other non-christians see.
the point is. that they just don't believe it. and because God's miracles are like so incredible, it really can be super hard to just believe.
like..i didn't believe my maid at all about the biting shoe thing cuz...well firstly i thought, shoes can't respond. 2ndly, it just seemed so impossible, even though she said that she bites her shoes each time she buys a new pair.
wow im beating around the bush alot i think. i cant think straight now.
so its like... firstly, non-christians dont know that God responds, so they may be doubtful, as i was.
2ndly, God's miracles are so impossible and incredible, its so hard to believe sometimes as a non-christian even though you testify to them sometimes, and may seem a little crazy too.
oh well i dont know how meaningful it is to you guys but yeah.
i felt the need to post it :/
Thursday, December 20, 2007
and there i find release
hello everyone!
i've put off this post because i've been way too lazy to type everything out, but well, thought i should stop procrastinating and get this done (so i can start on my Christmas cards tomorrow haha).
where do i start sharing? guess it would be good for me to talk about how youth camp was for me.
honestly, i didn't want to go for youth camp. yup, horribly and honestly. because i felt out-of-place, since i'm not a cgl and not really part of raft and camp comm etc. and exams also made it difficult for me to really help out in camp prep till the last week. so i was quite reluctant to go for camp because i didn't want to feel old and leftout, and just thinking about being a "floater" was scary. but my friend encouraged me with the thought that God has a REASON for bringing me to camp, and i must just be open enough to see what it is. so off i went for camp, feeling rather nervous and scared.
now let me gather my thoughts into several neatly-labelled points.
1) i thank God for teaching me humility. i guess all the recent excellent worship sessions i've led have caused me to become rather proud, and i think not doing much for this camp was a good way of teaching me that i'm not indispensable. and it also afforded me more time to interact with people, pray and see things from the outside perspective.
i've always had an aversion to altar calls because i've always told myself that every altar call i answer must mark a CHANGE in my life, and i've been too proud to admit that i need to change things. e.g. i've always been saying, i know i'm proud but i'm not THAT proud. but on worship night, God touched me. firstly, i knelt for the first time in worship, and even though at that point it didn't feel terribly special, just the physical posture of humility helped me to enter a more humble state of mind. then when pastor daniel gave the altar call, i just knew that i'd to answer it. previously, i've always tried to work up feelings to justify answering altar calls because when you see everyone going to the front, standing alone at the back can be very terrifying. but i'm glad i held back then, because on worship night i felt the difference. i felt this fierce thudding in my heart and it was GOD who led me to the front.
so that night was the third altar call i've ever answered in my life, and as i stood there, i was praying for God to show me things i should change in my life, because i needed to make this altar call count. and God is truly amazing. somehow, He managed to dig out all sorts of junk in my heart and made me see that there are so many things in my life that are displeasing Him. let me share one example.
that night, i learnt that i'd to have a 180 degrees change in mindset. all along, i've been thinking, "God, I want to serve You in this area." but that night i realised that that's actually a proud mindset! i'm dictating to Him what I want to do. instead, i should be praying, "God, what do YOU want me to serve You in?" that was seriously a mindblowing change that i'd to make, and it's not an easy one for me to do. i'm still struggling with it, but i thank God for bringing this to light.
2) i thank God for teaching me more about gifts of the Holy Spirit. previously, i've always been quite closed-off to teachings about things like speaking in tongues, falling under the power of God, prophecies etc. but i think this camp has made me more open to such things. i must admit that when i was on stage during powerpoint when pastor daniel was praying for the CGLs and people started falling all around me i was TERRIFIED, but still. i guess this camp, which incidentally also tied in well with the book i was reading at that point, made me see that the Holy Spirit is also about power, and now i'm more open to learning about how this can be demonstrated in a Christian's life.
3) i thank God for teaching me about prayer. prayer has never been my strong point, and throughout this year i've resented God sometimes for seemingly failing to answer my prayers. but what God taught me this camp was: a) to go to Him FIRST in prayer, and b) to trust Him.
on the 2nd night, i was feeling very needy and at that point i really prayed that God would bring someone to pray for me that night. but as i was struggling with all these during worship, He reminded me that even if He doesn't bring people to pray for me that night, i didn't have to worry because i still have the Holy Spirit praying for me, and the Spirit prays according to the will of God! (Romans 8) so after that i felt more relieved, and even though yes that night no one prayed for me, i was still able to feel the peace of God.
and i think camp taught me a very crucial lesson about prayer, that we go first to God and then to man. i've always done the reverse - going to everyone else BUT God with my problems, and then complaining that no one can help. but well, i think going to God first is the better solution. because He knows my need, and He knows who to bring and at what time. isn't that an easier way? and all i need to do is to trust in His timing :)
so yes those are the main lessons i wanna share with everyone.
You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of need
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all of my heart I'll worship
And unto You I'll sing
*For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to seek Your face
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
And we worship You this day
i've put off this post because i've been way too lazy to type everything out, but well, thought i should stop procrastinating and get this done (so i can start on my Christmas cards tomorrow haha).
where do i start sharing? guess it would be good for me to talk about how youth camp was for me.
honestly, i didn't want to go for youth camp. yup, horribly and honestly. because i felt out-of-place, since i'm not a cgl and not really part of raft and camp comm etc. and exams also made it difficult for me to really help out in camp prep till the last week. so i was quite reluctant to go for camp because i didn't want to feel old and leftout, and just thinking about being a "floater" was scary. but my friend encouraged me with the thought that God has a REASON for bringing me to camp, and i must just be open enough to see what it is. so off i went for camp, feeling rather nervous and scared.
now let me gather my thoughts into several neatly-labelled points.
1) i thank God for teaching me humility. i guess all the recent excellent worship sessions i've led have caused me to become rather proud, and i think not doing much for this camp was a good way of teaching me that i'm not indispensable. and it also afforded me more time to interact with people, pray and see things from the outside perspective.
i've always had an aversion to altar calls because i've always told myself that every altar call i answer must mark a CHANGE in my life, and i've been too proud to admit that i need to change things. e.g. i've always been saying, i know i'm proud but i'm not THAT proud. but on worship night, God touched me. firstly, i knelt for the first time in worship, and even though at that point it didn't feel terribly special, just the physical posture of humility helped me to enter a more humble state of mind. then when pastor daniel gave the altar call, i just knew that i'd to answer it. previously, i've always tried to work up feelings to justify answering altar calls because when you see everyone going to the front, standing alone at the back can be very terrifying. but i'm glad i held back then, because on worship night i felt the difference. i felt this fierce thudding in my heart and it was GOD who led me to the front.
so that night was the third altar call i've ever answered in my life, and as i stood there, i was praying for God to show me things i should change in my life, because i needed to make this altar call count. and God is truly amazing. somehow, He managed to dig out all sorts of junk in my heart and made me see that there are so many things in my life that are displeasing Him. let me share one example.
that night, i learnt that i'd to have a 180 degrees change in mindset. all along, i've been thinking, "God, I want to serve You in this area." but that night i realised that that's actually a proud mindset! i'm dictating to Him what I want to do. instead, i should be praying, "God, what do YOU want me to serve You in?" that was seriously a mindblowing change that i'd to make, and it's not an easy one for me to do. i'm still struggling with it, but i thank God for bringing this to light.
2) i thank God for teaching me more about gifts of the Holy Spirit. previously, i've always been quite closed-off to teachings about things like speaking in tongues, falling under the power of God, prophecies etc. but i think this camp has made me more open to such things. i must admit that when i was on stage during powerpoint when pastor daniel was praying for the CGLs and people started falling all around me i was TERRIFIED, but still. i guess this camp, which incidentally also tied in well with the book i was reading at that point, made me see that the Holy Spirit is also about power, and now i'm more open to learning about how this can be demonstrated in a Christian's life.
3) i thank God for teaching me about prayer. prayer has never been my strong point, and throughout this year i've resented God sometimes for seemingly failing to answer my prayers. but what God taught me this camp was: a) to go to Him FIRST in prayer, and b) to trust Him.
on the 2nd night, i was feeling very needy and at that point i really prayed that God would bring someone to pray for me that night. but as i was struggling with all these during worship, He reminded me that even if He doesn't bring people to pray for me that night, i didn't have to worry because i still have the Holy Spirit praying for me, and the Spirit prays according to the will of God! (Romans 8) so after that i felt more relieved, and even though yes that night no one prayed for me, i was still able to feel the peace of God.
and i think camp taught me a very crucial lesson about prayer, that we go first to God and then to man. i've always done the reverse - going to everyone else BUT God with my problems, and then complaining that no one can help. but well, i think going to God first is the better solution. because He knows my need, and He knows who to bring and at what time. isn't that an easier way? and all i need to do is to trust in His timing :)
so yes those are the main lessons i wanna share with everyone.
You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of need
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all of my heart I'll worship
And unto You I'll sing
*For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to seek Your face
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
And we worship You this day
hiyo amigos.
i suppose you can read this on my blog but. oh well.
I LOVED THE CAMPPP
it was super awesome! even though i dont really know what happened during worship night but im sure it was cool.
but yeah im sharing about "jessica's" worship that day.
Gosh seriously i was super touched that day while playing bass and. yeah i really thought that jess's set for that day was super appropriate for them i guess...
i mean all the people in the front. with the slow song set, as jess said. kind of reminded all of us that worship isnt all about the music and pumping beats. and it should never be that way i guess. so yeah kinda out of point i guess...
so anyway. i was really really touched cuz its like.. this has been what we've been waiting for right? a revival . so it was like.... er..
like when your daddy gives you a present that you've always wanted. except in this case 100000000000000000x better. (:
then i guess its in this kind of environment where the 'musicians' get their 'boost' well i dunno i did get one. i felt so.. determined to just play super well and stuff. like really lead them into worship and the presence of God. it was just so awesome.
( i even recalled that worship in africa ok!) so yeah. whooooo youth! FTW!
i suppose you can read this on my blog but. oh well.
I LOVED THE CAMPPP
it was super awesome! even though i dont really know what happened during worship night but im sure it was cool.
but yeah im sharing about "jessica's" worship that day.
Gosh seriously i was super touched that day while playing bass and. yeah i really thought that jess's set for that day was super appropriate for them i guess...
i mean all the people in the front. with the slow song set, as jess said. kind of reminded all of us that worship isnt all about the music and pumping beats. and it should never be that way i guess. so yeah kinda out of point i guess...
so anyway. i was really really touched cuz its like.. this has been what we've been waiting for right? a revival . so it was like.... er..
like when your daddy gives you a present that you've always wanted. except in this case 100000000000000000x better. (:
then i guess its in this kind of environment where the 'musicians' get their 'boost' well i dunno i did get one. i felt so.. determined to just play super well and stuff. like really lead them into worship and the presence of God. it was just so awesome.
( i even recalled that worship in africa ok!) so yeah. whooooo youth! FTW!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
i'm sorry :O
haha. yes yes. i am aware i have broken my own fortnight rule because well, i was busy with my exams and then after that was camp whereby i had to go to church for prac almost everyday and then came camp itself and ahh, we're rushing towards christmas now. dec is like a mad mad rush. maybe this is how new yorkers feel like or something. haha.
hmm. i guess the most normal thing would be to share how youth camp was for me. well, the most encouraging and heartening thing for me was to see everyone worshiping God with arms lifted high and receiving from God, praying for people. amazing sight. something i've been praying for and will keep praying for. we must persevere in praying for our ministry because this is only just the beginning and i'm eager to see God move in even more incredible ways. what really touched my heart was to see my sister (guess which one) singing to God with raised hands and then kneeling down and just seeking God. when i saw that, i cried coz it's another answered prayer and it feels so much more amazing when it's someone close to u. yeah.
but yeah, i don't think i was a very 'good' person during the camp. i was actually supposed to stay over but i felt quite miserable coz i felt so old! and like i have no friends. haha. sound so pathetic right. and ya, i chose the easiest way out. i went home. but on thurs at dinner, my father said that i should have stayed coz i'm a leader and by leaving, i was like deserting everyone. and at first i was quite irritated but when i thought about it, God showed me how true that reprimand was and ya, i should have tried to get to know people better, make the new and young people feel at ease and stuff but yeah, i guess it's coz i was so tired from the mad rush from exams to prac to camp and i was kinda dry la. u know how bad things happen more often when we're dry. so ya la. if u see me doing stupid things like this again, tell me k. haha. come on. sharpening each other right? haha.
but ya. i wanna say woohooooooooo to tianyi coz i'm really impressed by your commitment to excellence. i was realy quite skeptical about u playing bass but wow. u are better than some other bassists who have played longer so yay. cool man. when i need a bassist, i can look to u! haha. so yeah, keep up this pursuit of excellence la. God deserves our best and more. and not just in terms of service but everything. your studies too! haha.
anyway, another amazing thing. not that i really prayed about it but i think i whined about it. basically, somehow, the english department at nus are having 2 other 4000 level mods. which means that i don't have to do this dreaded boring module called modern critical theory!!! haha. which means i should be a happier person next sem la. theory kinda sucks. haha. so yay!!!!!!! :)
hmm. i guess the most normal thing would be to share how youth camp was for me. well, the most encouraging and heartening thing for me was to see everyone worshiping God with arms lifted high and receiving from God, praying for people. amazing sight. something i've been praying for and will keep praying for. we must persevere in praying for our ministry because this is only just the beginning and i'm eager to see God move in even more incredible ways. what really touched my heart was to see my sister (guess which one) singing to God with raised hands and then kneeling down and just seeking God. when i saw that, i cried coz it's another answered prayer and it feels so much more amazing when it's someone close to u. yeah.
but yeah, i don't think i was a very 'good' person during the camp. i was actually supposed to stay over but i felt quite miserable coz i felt so old! and like i have no friends. haha. sound so pathetic right. and ya, i chose the easiest way out. i went home. but on thurs at dinner, my father said that i should have stayed coz i'm a leader and by leaving, i was like deserting everyone. and at first i was quite irritated but when i thought about it, God showed me how true that reprimand was and ya, i should have tried to get to know people better, make the new and young people feel at ease and stuff but yeah, i guess it's coz i was so tired from the mad rush from exams to prac to camp and i was kinda dry la. u know how bad things happen more often when we're dry. so ya la. if u see me doing stupid things like this again, tell me k. haha. come on. sharpening each other right? haha.
but ya. i wanna say woohooooooooo to tianyi coz i'm really impressed by your commitment to excellence. i was realy quite skeptical about u playing bass but wow. u are better than some other bassists who have played longer so yay. cool man. when i need a bassist, i can look to u! haha. so yeah, keep up this pursuit of excellence la. God deserves our best and more. and not just in terms of service but everything. your studies too! haha.
anyway, another amazing thing. not that i really prayed about it but i think i whined about it. basically, somehow, the english department at nus are having 2 other 4000 level mods. which means that i don't have to do this dreaded boring module called modern critical theory!!! haha. which means i should be a happier person next sem la. theory kinda sucks. haha. so yay!!!!!!! :)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
NEW POST :D
haha i've not kept to my fortnightly update SO SORRY. but i've just posted on raft so can check that out! will post about camp soon, once i've finished consolidating all my thoughts.
but yeah, God is awesome :)
but yeah, God is awesome :)
Monday, December 10, 2007
Just Before Youth Camp
Haha, like Tianyi I don't want to infringe on our once every 2 weeks agreement. Well, Youth Camp officially starts in about 6 hours time. I personally feel the build up to the camp has been awesome, especially so the past 2 weeks both in church and outside. It's also so exciting hearing people anticipate the camp so eagerly and all this talk by people about revival happening right in the midst of our very own Youth Ministry.
However, right now I'm just feeling this sense of anxiety and worry. After trying to call up my group members and fix up quiet time groupings I just kept having these nagging doubts at the back of my head; that this camp may not live up to all the hype that's been surrounding it. Or what if I am not able to click well with my group (it's been a while since I've been a TL and it's such a young group). Or what if campers feel left out to state a few.
I really so so so so so desire that God would really impact the lives of ALL the youths who come down and that it would just infect all those around them with a blazing passion for God - but what if a large number of Youths still feel equally distant from God after the camp? I know that a lot of these fears are due to my inability to place enough trust in God's sovereign will and because I have these preconceived notions of how I wish things would turn out but that may not be what God intends to do during this camp. Sigh... feeling so emo now but O God would You please allow a mighty outpouring of Your Spirit to fill the lives of the Youths during this camp!!! Let non-christians become believers during this camp!!! Cause this ministry to truly be on fire for You and one that multiplies!!! We've waited so long and we want more!!!
Sigh... though I think I know what is the correct mindset I should have now with regard to the camp, it's just been hard to open these tightly clenched fist and truly let go and believe that God will handle everything perfectly no matter how things may appear. Was feeling kinda perplexed but as I write these things it has sort of been a therapeutic experience as I articulate my flaws and focus on the fact that our God truly reigns. That being said, though I'm still kinda tired emotionally I'm quite happy how my negative attitude is changing quite drastically as this little "soliloquy" ensues. Wish I could pray with someone now to sooth my nerves a little more but it's not really the right time to call anyone now.
As I was typing, the bridge of "Second Chance" really ministered to me: "So I wait upon You now with my hands released to You. Where a little faith's enough to see mountains lift and move". There's so much more God's got to do with my life and teach me... I find that awesome =).
Hope I'll look back at the things I've wrote and laugh at my foolishness. Exceed our wildest imaginations during this camp Jesus.
However, right now I'm just feeling this sense of anxiety and worry. After trying to call up my group members and fix up quiet time groupings I just kept having these nagging doubts at the back of my head; that this camp may not live up to all the hype that's been surrounding it. Or what if I am not able to click well with my group (it's been a while since I've been a TL and it's such a young group). Or what if campers feel left out to state a few.
I really so so so so so desire that God would really impact the lives of ALL the youths who come down and that it would just infect all those around them with a blazing passion for God - but what if a large number of Youths still feel equally distant from God after the camp? I know that a lot of these fears are due to my inability to place enough trust in God's sovereign will and because I have these preconceived notions of how I wish things would turn out but that may not be what God intends to do during this camp. Sigh... feeling so emo now but O God would You please allow a mighty outpouring of Your Spirit to fill the lives of the Youths during this camp!!! Let non-christians become believers during this camp!!! Cause this ministry to truly be on fire for You and one that multiplies!!! We've waited so long and we want more!!!
Sigh... though I think I know what is the correct mindset I should have now with regard to the camp, it's just been hard to open these tightly clenched fist and truly let go and believe that God will handle everything perfectly no matter how things may appear. Was feeling kinda perplexed but as I write these things it has sort of been a therapeutic experience as I articulate my flaws and focus on the fact that our God truly reigns. That being said, though I'm still kinda tired emotionally I'm quite happy how my negative attitude is changing quite drastically as this little "soliloquy" ensues. Wish I could pray with someone now to sooth my nerves a little more but it's not really the right time to call anyone now.
As I was typing, the bridge of "Second Chance" really ministered to me: "So I wait upon You now with my hands released to You. Where a little faith's enough to see mountains lift and move". There's so much more God's got to do with my life and teach me... I find that awesome =).
Hope I'll look back at the things I've wrote and laugh at my foolishness. Exceed our wildest imaginations during this camp Jesus.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
ok this week's been pretty hectic for me i guess... cuz there's been alot of worship pracs one after another. but i kinda enjoy it lah hahah gosh so weird.
anyway. yeah. what i wanna share now is about..prayer
i've been reading this book and inside theres this part which says "I know now Lord,why you utter no answer.You, yourself is the answer"
which kinda makes me think of this song which i have forgotten the title.. but it goes like... "you're all i want..you're all i ever needed" etc etc.
and yah i think i wanted to share this because im going away for quite long and if i dont post now...means that i would break the fortnight rule like min wei.
just joking.
anyway. yeah. what i wanna share now is about..prayer
i've been reading this book and inside theres this part which says "I know now Lord,why you utter no answer.You, yourself is the answer"
which kinda makes me think of this song which i have forgotten the title.. but it goes like... "you're all i want..you're all i ever needed" etc etc.
and yah i think i wanted to share this because im going away for quite long and if i dont post now...means that i would break the fortnight rule like min wei.
just joking.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Response To Tianyi's Blog Post
Hey dude, tried posting this under the comments portion of your blog put apparently there isn't enough space and I dont have a Vox account which I am lazy to sign up for =p.
Anyway, my 2 cents worth is that that "paralysed" feeling you felt can quite likely be attributed to fatigue. Think it occurs when your body is tired but your mind is still active. I've experienced it once too and was a bit freaked out initially- but after praying and waiting it got better. (I'm not saying that what you went through was definitely of a physical nature only but this is a possibility)
I bet your experience was more freaky with the creepy laughing you heard. (Somehow I'm not comfortable with the term "demonic encounter" so I'll stick to spiritual attack) However, though it could be very possible that what you experienced had a spiritual element in the form of a spiritual attack, my personal opinion is that we should try not to give the devil any "credit" possible.
Using your experience as an example, how do we give the noobster devil "credit"? I think it's when we adopt the attitude that it was "DEFINTELY the devil doing his thing, we were POWERLESS to move" or when we allow that experience to cause fear or doubts about our relationship with God to creep into our lives.
2 Tim 1:7 - "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
Though the spiritual realm is very real and yes satan does try to mess around, I personally feel that we should firstly be cautious to point our finger towards that thing with the horns. There are times when I've felt that I've been on the end of what seemed like a spiritual attack. But having reflected about some of these times, I've come to realize that some of these negative feelings actually arose from issues in my life that I had not resolved with God more than the devil trying to use his fork to prod me. (Ok, don't this point really relates to your experience specifically because your's happened rather involuntarily and quickly)
Secondly, even if it was a spiritual attack we should not allow that feeling of fear, doubt, etc. to linger in our lives. I'm glad that your first response to what you felt was to call upon God and praise Him that He responded in a tangible way to you. But let's try to take it another step further and reject any remnant fears in the name of Jesus because He has given us a spirit of power. Unpleasant as that experience may have been, let's not be afraid that the devil may try it again. If he wants to try again, bring it on! Cause this time we're more prepared and I'm sure the Holy spirit in me is going to kick the devil posterior! To sum it up in a term I've learnt in NS, be "garang".
Thirdly, do not conclude that because we've faced a spirtual attack, there is definitely something wrong in our lives. Though it's true that we can never be 100% Christ-like in this life, let's not go about bashing ourselves up thinking,"Perhaps I'm not seeking God correctly. If He was truly inside of me, I would not have experienced this spirtual attack. Is He really in my life in the first place?". To set the record straight yes, the Holy Spirit is inside of you and always will be when you received Him. He ain't the sort who walks out on people, we are the one's who choose to quench Him. Back to my former point, the devil does attack people who are doing fine spirtually (this does not mean we are satisfied with our current walk with God, we must always desire more!). I think of Job, pretty decent chap, you know the rest.
Fourthly, I don't think most of us are guilty of this but let's not go to the other extreme whereby we think that we must be doing something correct with God hence the devil wants to attack our lives. I think it is possible that people can contort matters in a perverse matter and think that,"Gosh, I'm going through so much opposition with this bunch of people, this must be a spiritual attack, which means I'm doing God's will because the devil attacks those who are spiritual strong. Therefore I must be doing the right thing and should persist." Such logic rides on a very slippery slope as a twisted sense of pride / self-righteousness overcomes the person being "attacked".
To summarize, always discern what's happening in our lives and examine our own lives first before blaming the devil. And even if it were a spiritual attack, let's rise above what the devil can feebly throw with God's anointing in our lives and grow spiritually instead of digressing into fear or discouragement.
Oh gosh, I hope I have not rambled on incessantly but I'm not exactly sure of your experience thus I've tried to cover the bases in my very limited capacity. Hope it has given you some insight and likewise for any other reader (coming up with this has taught me quite a bit). And yep, not directly related to your blogpost, my sensing is that you've been chionging a bit too much for your own good with kool camp, practices and the anxiety of band camp back then lah. Don't burn yourself out yah. Remember to always seek Him in the secret place everyday and prepare yourself / ourselves for the Youth Camp and whatever else our awesome God has prepared for us =).
Anyway, my 2 cents worth is that that "paralysed" feeling you felt can quite likely be attributed to fatigue. Think it occurs when your body is tired but your mind is still active. I've experienced it once too and was a bit freaked out initially- but after praying and waiting it got better. (I'm not saying that what you went through was definitely of a physical nature only but this is a possibility)
I bet your experience was more freaky with the creepy laughing you heard. (Somehow I'm not comfortable with the term "demonic encounter" so I'll stick to spiritual attack) However, though it could be very possible that what you experienced had a spiritual element in the form of a spiritual attack, my personal opinion is that we should try not to give the devil any "credit" possible.
Using your experience as an example, how do we give the noobster devil "credit"? I think it's when we adopt the attitude that it was "DEFINTELY the devil doing his thing, we were POWERLESS to move" or when we allow that experience to cause fear or doubts about our relationship with God to creep into our lives.
2 Tim 1:7 - "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
Though the spiritual realm is very real and yes satan does try to mess around, I personally feel that we should firstly be cautious to point our finger towards that thing with the horns. There are times when I've felt that I've been on the end of what seemed like a spiritual attack. But having reflected about some of these times, I've come to realize that some of these negative feelings actually arose from issues in my life that I had not resolved with God more than the devil trying to use his fork to prod me. (Ok, don't this point really relates to your experience specifically because your's happened rather involuntarily and quickly)
Secondly, even if it was a spiritual attack we should not allow that feeling of fear, doubt, etc. to linger in our lives. I'm glad that your first response to what you felt was to call upon God and praise Him that He responded in a tangible way to you. But let's try to take it another step further and reject any remnant fears in the name of Jesus because He has given us a spirit of power. Unpleasant as that experience may have been, let's not be afraid that the devil may try it again. If he wants to try again, bring it on! Cause this time we're more prepared and I'm sure the Holy spirit in me is going to kick the devil posterior! To sum it up in a term I've learnt in NS, be "garang".
Thirdly, do not conclude that because we've faced a spirtual attack, there is definitely something wrong in our lives. Though it's true that we can never be 100% Christ-like in this life, let's not go about bashing ourselves up thinking,"Perhaps I'm not seeking God correctly. If He was truly inside of me, I would not have experienced this spirtual attack. Is He really in my life in the first place?". To set the record straight yes, the Holy Spirit is inside of you and always will be when you received Him. He ain't the sort who walks out on people, we are the one's who choose to quench Him. Back to my former point, the devil does attack people who are doing fine spirtually (this does not mean we are satisfied with our current walk with God, we must always desire more!). I think of Job, pretty decent chap, you know the rest.
Fourthly, I don't think most of us are guilty of this but let's not go to the other extreme whereby we think that we must be doing something correct with God hence the devil wants to attack our lives. I think it is possible that people can contort matters in a perverse matter and think that,"Gosh, I'm going through so much opposition with this bunch of people, this must be a spiritual attack, which means I'm doing God's will because the devil attacks those who are spiritual strong. Therefore I must be doing the right thing and should persist." Such logic rides on a very slippery slope as a twisted sense of pride / self-righteousness overcomes the person being "attacked".
To summarize, always discern what's happening in our lives and examine our own lives first before blaming the devil. And even if it were a spiritual attack, let's rise above what the devil can feebly throw with God's anointing in our lives and grow spiritually instead of digressing into fear or discouragement.
Oh gosh, I hope I have not rambled on incessantly but I'm not exactly sure of your experience thus I've tried to cover the bases in my very limited capacity. Hope it has given you some insight and likewise for any other reader (coming up with this has taught me quite a bit). And yep, not directly related to your blogpost, my sensing is that you've been chionging a bit too much for your own good with kool camp, practices and the anxiety of band camp back then lah. Don't burn yourself out yah. Remember to always seek Him in the secret place everyday and prepare yourself / ourselves for the Youth Camp and whatever else our awesome God has prepared for us =).
Thursday, November 29, 2007
(No title avaliable)
Hi all.
I just seen Tianyi's post in his own blog, about a spiritual attack... It sounds very freaky... Tianyi was suggesting that Pastor can preach about that... Anyway...
I was reading Galatians 5:22-23, about the fruits of the Spirit... In a nutshell,
-Love
-Joy
-Peace
-Patience
-Kindness
-Goodness
-Faithfulness
-Gentleness
-Self Control
In my cca meetings, we were planning a musical based on the theme "Censorship". Everyone were bringing their points forward such that they were accusing some people for receiving more attention compared to the others. Hatred and jealousy can be tasted in the air. I mean, from what Pastor mentioned two weeks ago during the YM session, he said something like when we are baptized by the Holy Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit should show (Correct me if I'm wrong).
I mean, seriously, my school is such that results matter only. Even the students form their own clicks. They form in that sense where popularity and results are the main thing... If not... BANG! You get shot from all directions without any avaliable cover. I'm gonna be very honest here. Before the month of September this year, I was like one of them. I enjoyed "killing" any people that threaten my position as "Powerful mastermind" in class. Most of my classmates fear me(not that I'm proud of it now...) because I used to radiate an aura of danger. Now, with the cca meetings make me think back about that time... God touched me during a YM session in the month of September, during one of the altar calls. He reminded me of the fruit of the Spirit and Christ's love for me. From then, I was changed. I enjoyed serving in the Music Ministry and I'm so glad that God would love a sinner like me... My "friends" noticed that I changed since I started spreading God's message around. I am very glad to say that one of my classmates, who used to scorn Christianity, is coming for the Transformers Camp!!
All I can say here is... I'm really glad God changed me... To God be the praise!
Signing off,
Yong Quan
P.S Can you all pray for my classmate who's coming for the camp? Pray that God can change his heart like He changed mine...
I just seen Tianyi's post in his own blog, about a spiritual attack... It sounds very freaky... Tianyi was suggesting that Pastor can preach about that... Anyway...
I was reading Galatians 5:22-23, about the fruits of the Spirit... In a nutshell,
-Love
-Joy
-Peace
-Patience
-Kindness
-Goodness
-Faithfulness
-Gentleness
-Self Control
In my cca meetings, we were planning a musical based on the theme "Censorship". Everyone were bringing their points forward such that they were accusing some people for receiving more attention compared to the others. Hatred and jealousy can be tasted in the air. I mean, from what Pastor mentioned two weeks ago during the YM session, he said something like when we are baptized by the Holy Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit should show (Correct me if I'm wrong).
I mean, seriously, my school is such that results matter only. Even the students form their own clicks. They form in that sense where popularity and results are the main thing... If not... BANG! You get shot from all directions without any avaliable cover. I'm gonna be very honest here. Before the month of September this year, I was like one of them. I enjoyed "killing" any people that threaten my position as "Powerful mastermind" in class. Most of my classmates fear me(not that I'm proud of it now...) because I used to radiate an aura of danger. Now, with the cca meetings make me think back about that time... God touched me during a YM session in the month of September, during one of the altar calls. He reminded me of the fruit of the Spirit and Christ's love for me. From then, I was changed. I enjoyed serving in the Music Ministry and I'm so glad that God would love a sinner like me... My "friends" noticed that I changed since I started spreading God's message around. I am very glad to say that one of my classmates, who used to scorn Christianity, is coming for the Transformers Camp!!
All I can say here is... I'm really glad God changed me... To God be the praise!
Signing off,
Yong Quan
P.S Can you all pray for my classmate who's coming for the camp? Pray that God can change his heart like He changed mine...
Friday, November 23, 2007
& i'm leaving on a jet plane
ok! just before i leave for the...kiddie's camp thingy :/
i think i should post. so i'll be 'free'
and yes! i am super excited about youth's worship this week!
cuz. its exciting!
and this week hasn't been much spiritual stuff happening for me though.
cuz i've been basically surviving through the usual week of tuition.
But um yeah i've been doing my QT too :P
been reading some boook called street-wise spirituality
and there's this part about spirituality being a "connection" with God.
yea and i think like this week i haven't really 'connected' with God.
ok. but there was this time when i watched the united we stand bonus dvd
and it was SUPER COOOL! and i got goosebumps just thinking about how great God could make the hillsong youth grow, from 20 people to 10000000000 people.
yeah they said that in the documentary later on.
um yeah so thats my weeek..
oh we so have to get a smoke machine. like in the introduction of united we stand.
SO COOOL!
i think i should post. so i'll be 'free'
and yes! i am super excited about youth's worship this week!
cuz. its exciting!
and this week hasn't been much spiritual stuff happening for me though.
cuz i've been basically surviving through the usual week of tuition.
But um yeah i've been doing my QT too :P
been reading some boook called street-wise spirituality
and there's this part about spirituality being a "connection" with God.
yea and i think like this week i haven't really 'connected' with God.
ok. but there was this time when i watched the united we stand bonus dvd
and it was SUPER COOOL! and i got goosebumps just thinking about how great God could make the hillsong youth grow, from 20 people to 10000000000 people.
yeah they said that in the documentary later on.
um yeah so thats my weeek..
oh we so have to get a smoke machine. like in the introduction of united we stand.
SO COOOL!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Fall In This Place
Hey all.
God touched me when I listened to this song... and I felt that I need to share this with all of you.
Fall In This Place
Verse 1
Take me to that place Lord
Where there's nothing else but me and You
Longing for Your presence
I know that You're calling me to You
Prechorus
Here I stand
And long for Your embrace
Nothing else
Could ever take Your place
Chorus
Come Holy Spirit
Fall in this place
I need more and more of You
Fill me again with the power of Your Spirit
Lord I'm crying out for more and more of You
I mean, for me personally, the Youth Ministry and God's revival fire comes to my mind when I listened to this song. So let us keep praying for the Youth Ministry!!
Oh yeah... P.S this song is from Pick It Up album by Planetshakers... If you really want details its the 4th song on the first disc
Monday, November 19, 2007
our God is an AWESOME GOD
hello!
i think i owe an entry haha. but i've been so lazy to actually type out what i've been learning, as i tried to tell tianyi last saturday.
anyway, what has happened the last 2 weeks? i think spiritually it has been down and up. 2 weekends ago i was feeling very discouraged because the youth carolling/Christmas event thing didn't materialise, and i was just feeling very lousy. thinking that hey i really wanna do something for God so why couldn't He have made things happen? but i think that experience taught me that a) i need to stop thinking i'm really capable because there're so many things that are out of my control. and b) that ministry requires PRAYER (more on that later).
another thing that compounded my misery that weekend was hearing all the talk about the parents being upset and all. i saw it coming a few weeks' ago because my mum talks to me about such things, and during that particular week i remember juls and i discussing the whole issue at much length. but i was still very troubled by it all, least of all because i don't really know how to react to it. what should my stand be? so yes i was feeling very troubled and discouraged.
but thankfully, God sent a close friend who listened me out and provided much food for thought, and i thank God :)
then last week was a lot of seeking God for guidance as to the song set. every time i lead worship i REALLY struggle with the issue of pride, so last week was no different. but thank God for His mercy in making everything good, even though prac was quite bad haha.
i think i've learnt a few lessons from all these experiences.
1) the importance of PRAYER. prayer has never been my strong point because i tend to get bored very easily, but these couple of weeks (especially saturday's prayer meeting before worship) taught me the importance of prayer. now i fully understand and believe in the saying, "No Prayer, No Power". and usually when i pray at home it's really half-hearted and quite short, but i think God's teaching me how to enjoy praying more. having a greater desire to spend time talking to Him, praying for others (i've realised that this helps me to want to pray more, somehow) and yeah just reading His Word too. QT has become more of a joy :)
2) that life isn't a bed of roses. sometimes i think that God should give me an easy week because if i'm on a spiritual high, i should be able to transcend everything right? but i think i've learnt, through all my busyness these few weeks, that it's not true. i can be physically and emotionally exhausted, but still spiritually strong. the nature of life IS that it is challenging and tiring at times, and God doesn't expect us to be perpetually joyful and on a spiritual high. what He DOES expect, though, is a willingness to always stick close to Him.
3) that KNOWING God's Word is extremely important. i was ticked off by my friend for not knowing my Bible properly, and that taught me how crucial it is that we check every single practice/teaching against the Bible. i dunno, this experience has made me realise how important it is to be spiritually discerning, and i really want to have that. also seeking to study the Bible more closely, but not sure how to do that at the moment (beyond doing it during cg etc.)
yup that's roughly it haha. you all can pray for my exams too! have been very busy with my theatre studies practical exam so i've hardly begun studying (SERIOUSLY) so yeah pray for good time management. :)
thanks!
i think i owe an entry haha. but i've been so lazy to actually type out what i've been learning, as i tried to tell tianyi last saturday.
anyway, what has happened the last 2 weeks? i think spiritually it has been down and up. 2 weekends ago i was feeling very discouraged because the youth carolling/Christmas event thing didn't materialise, and i was just feeling very lousy. thinking that hey i really wanna do something for God so why couldn't He have made things happen? but i think that experience taught me that a) i need to stop thinking i'm really capable because there're so many things that are out of my control. and b) that ministry requires PRAYER (more on that later).
another thing that compounded my misery that weekend was hearing all the talk about the parents being upset and all. i saw it coming a few weeks' ago because my mum talks to me about such things, and during that particular week i remember juls and i discussing the whole issue at much length. but i was still very troubled by it all, least of all because i don't really know how to react to it. what should my stand be? so yes i was feeling very troubled and discouraged.
but thankfully, God sent a close friend who listened me out and provided much food for thought, and i thank God :)
then last week was a lot of seeking God for guidance as to the song set. every time i lead worship i REALLY struggle with the issue of pride, so last week was no different. but thank God for His mercy in making everything good, even though prac was quite bad haha.
i think i've learnt a few lessons from all these experiences.
1) the importance of PRAYER. prayer has never been my strong point because i tend to get bored very easily, but these couple of weeks (especially saturday's prayer meeting before worship) taught me the importance of prayer. now i fully understand and believe in the saying, "No Prayer, No Power". and usually when i pray at home it's really half-hearted and quite short, but i think God's teaching me how to enjoy praying more. having a greater desire to spend time talking to Him, praying for others (i've realised that this helps me to want to pray more, somehow) and yeah just reading His Word too. QT has become more of a joy :)
2) that life isn't a bed of roses. sometimes i think that God should give me an easy week because if i'm on a spiritual high, i should be able to transcend everything right? but i think i've learnt, through all my busyness these few weeks, that it's not true. i can be physically and emotionally exhausted, but still spiritually strong. the nature of life IS that it is challenging and tiring at times, and God doesn't expect us to be perpetually joyful and on a spiritual high. what He DOES expect, though, is a willingness to always stick close to Him.
3) that KNOWING God's Word is extremely important. i was ticked off by my friend for not knowing my Bible properly, and that taught me how crucial it is that we check every single practice/teaching against the Bible. i dunno, this experience has made me realise how important it is to be spiritually discerning, and i really want to have that. also seeking to study the Bible more closely, but not sure how to do that at the moment (beyond doing it during cg etc.)
yup that's roughly it haha. you all can pray for my exams too! have been very busy with my theatre studies practical exam so i've hardly begun studying (SERIOUSLY) so yeah pray for good time management. :)
thanks!
Isaiah 29-30
Unlike previously where I shared that I was wasting my time away doing pointless activities (or nothing), things have really picked up since then. I have been learning quite a bit about God and am real excited to continue knowing more about Him =). (Reason why I have not penned down my thoughts here or updated the RAFT blog is because I am still trying to chew and digest many of the things I have read)
It's really been helpful thinking about God in a more intellectual sense as it has helped shape a few paradigms, aided me in coming up with what’s my stand on certain issues and allowed me to appreciate God more. (Reminder to self; let’s not get carried away with stimulating ourselves intellectually and forget about using our heart to feel and listen to God and vice-versa. I personally have neglected the deeper intellectual dimension for a quite while)
Anyway I shan’t bore you all those supposedly “more intellectual” thoughts (which very likely would seem rudimentary to you, the reader) with my inability to expresses such things concisely and with clarity. Hence I shall share some thoughts that apply more directly to my life.
Before I proceed with the actual sharing, let me note that something read from the bible that seems to have some link to what we may be experiencing does not equate to an exact interpretation / explanation of the current situation. Though are many times when God has used His word from the bible to deal with my ongoing situation head-on, we must always be wary of not interpreting the word to suit our circumstances despite our predilection to draw links between the two. We must always evaluate the word with minds, heart and most importantly the spirit as “his anointing (the spirit) teaches you (us) about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit – 1 John 2:27”. Having mulled over the word, I would like to make it clear that the bible passages (Isaiah 29-30) that I will be referring is something that God has used to teach and deal with me personally and by using these passages, I am not trying to imply that they represent the current state of affairs.
The reason why I must emphasize the above is because I will be using Isaiah 29-30 to relate to the small brouhaha in the Youth Ministry of recent, and what I feel God has impressed on my heart in all humility. The chapters taken from Isaiah talk about the time before the siege of Jerusalem by Sennacherib. Thus what I have been painstakingly trying to put across is that our YM is not under any siege by the parents and verses such as Isaiah 29:24 (“… those who complain will accept instruction.”) are not an allusion to them in any way. With that aside I hope I can now proceed with my sharing without causing any misunderstanding freely.
Amongst the many lessons I got out from these passages which I found so enriching, I shall take out 4 points.
Formalities
Isaiah 29:13 “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.”
Worship of God pertains to the whole spectrum of living our lives but for the sake of brevity I shall focus on the corporate worship session at church. I am the sort of person who believes (and still striving to be such a person) that when we worship, we should put all formalities and opinions of others around us aside; let’s lift our voices, dance, raise our hands, kneel, cry… whatever God inspires us to do as we use all of our heart, body soul and mind to reach out to Him.
My initial mindset usually relates “rules taught by men” as those sort worship sessions where some people feels it’s their obligation to give the very solemn (sometimes pained and glum) look, remain very still as if they were part of a marching contingent, etc. Just to clarify, I am not trying to criticize such worships; I truly believe that God looks at the heart above all.
But on the flip-side, could our “rules taught by men” now be the raising of hands, jumping etc.? Do we think to ourselves, “Oh the music is starting to build up; time to start raising hands” or “This is the sort of song where everyone jumps so I ought to join in”? Our outwardly exuberant appearances and postures of worship are of no significance if our “hearts are far from” God.
Moreover, this more visible expression of worship could be a greater stumbling block to others. Imagine if our friends/parents see us worshipping God with all these outward expressions but do not see the change in our hearts when we leave the worship hall. I am sure that would cause a lot of doubts to fill their minds vis-à-vis our reasons for worshipping in such a manner, hence giving some parents an added reason to speculate and raise concerns.
In a rather crude way of putting it across, I sometimes would rather people look as if they were mannequins if their attitudes for worshipping were wrong and if they do not let their experience with God transform their lives lest outsides conclude that God was not working through the lives of others who were worshipping God with all their might.
This being said, I also hope the contrary does not happen where people think, “My life is such a mess, I am not worthy to give my all in worship to God today or else others may think I am a hypocrite.” Do not be discouraged if you do not find yourself turning into a saint after the worship session. Instead, having examined our hearts, let us endeavor to give everything we have to Him in worship despite how distant we may seem from God. Allow the Holy Spirit to convict and empower us to change our lives. I believe that there will definitely be a change in one’s life if we continually do so, if not, let’s re-examine our lives.
Just as we worship in song with all our might, live the life He wants us to live with all our might.
(Due to time constraints, I think I shall stop here for now. I hope what was written did not come out as gibberish. And if there any parts inappropriate I should remove please do tell me. Thanks.)
It's really been helpful thinking about God in a more intellectual sense as it has helped shape a few paradigms, aided me in coming up with what’s my stand on certain issues and allowed me to appreciate God more. (Reminder to self; let’s not get carried away with stimulating ourselves intellectually and forget about using our heart to feel and listen to God and vice-versa. I personally have neglected the deeper intellectual dimension for a quite while)
Anyway I shan’t bore you all those supposedly “more intellectual” thoughts (which very likely would seem rudimentary to you, the reader) with my inability to expresses such things concisely and with clarity. Hence I shall share some thoughts that apply more directly to my life.
Before I proceed with the actual sharing, let me note that something read from the bible that seems to have some link to what we may be experiencing does not equate to an exact interpretation / explanation of the current situation. Though are many times when God has used His word from the bible to deal with my ongoing situation head-on, we must always be wary of not interpreting the word to suit our circumstances despite our predilection to draw links between the two. We must always evaluate the word with minds, heart and most importantly the spirit as “his anointing (the spirit) teaches you (us) about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit – 1 John 2:27”. Having mulled over the word, I would like to make it clear that the bible passages (Isaiah 29-30) that I will be referring is something that God has used to teach and deal with me personally and by using these passages, I am not trying to imply that they represent the current state of affairs.
The reason why I must emphasize the above is because I will be using Isaiah 29-30 to relate to the small brouhaha in the Youth Ministry of recent, and what I feel God has impressed on my heart in all humility. The chapters taken from Isaiah talk about the time before the siege of Jerusalem by Sennacherib. Thus what I have been painstakingly trying to put across is that our YM is not under any siege by the parents and verses such as Isaiah 29:24 (“… those who complain will accept instruction.”) are not an allusion to them in any way. With that aside I hope I can now proceed with my sharing without causing any misunderstanding freely.
Amongst the many lessons I got out from these passages which I found so enriching, I shall take out 4 points.
Formalities
Isaiah 29:13 “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.”
Worship of God pertains to the whole spectrum of living our lives but for the sake of brevity I shall focus on the corporate worship session at church. I am the sort of person who believes (and still striving to be such a person) that when we worship, we should put all formalities and opinions of others around us aside; let’s lift our voices, dance, raise our hands, kneel, cry… whatever God inspires us to do as we use all of our heart, body soul and mind to reach out to Him.
My initial mindset usually relates “rules taught by men” as those sort worship sessions where some people feels it’s their obligation to give the very solemn (sometimes pained and glum) look, remain very still as if they were part of a marching contingent, etc. Just to clarify, I am not trying to criticize such worships; I truly believe that God looks at the heart above all.
But on the flip-side, could our “rules taught by men” now be the raising of hands, jumping etc.? Do we think to ourselves, “Oh the music is starting to build up; time to start raising hands” or “This is the sort of song where everyone jumps so I ought to join in”? Our outwardly exuberant appearances and postures of worship are of no significance if our “hearts are far from” God.
Moreover, this more visible expression of worship could be a greater stumbling block to others. Imagine if our friends/parents see us worshipping God with all these outward expressions but do not see the change in our hearts when we leave the worship hall. I am sure that would cause a lot of doubts to fill their minds vis-à-vis our reasons for worshipping in such a manner, hence giving some parents an added reason to speculate and raise concerns.
In a rather crude way of putting it across, I sometimes would rather people look as if they were mannequins if their attitudes for worshipping were wrong and if they do not let their experience with God transform their lives lest outsides conclude that God was not working through the lives of others who were worshipping God with all their might.
This being said, I also hope the contrary does not happen where people think, “My life is such a mess, I am not worthy to give my all in worship to God today or else others may think I am a hypocrite.” Do not be discouraged if you do not find yourself turning into a saint after the worship session. Instead, having examined our hearts, let us endeavor to give everything we have to Him in worship despite how distant we may seem from God. Allow the Holy Spirit to convict and empower us to change our lives. I believe that there will definitely be a change in one’s life if we continually do so, if not, let’s re-examine our lives.
Just as we worship in song with all our might, live the life He wants us to live with all our might.
(Due to time constraints, I think I shall stop here for now. I hope what was written did not come out as gibberish. And if there any parts inappropriate I should remove please do tell me. Thanks.)
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Pray! :)
ok... it's so typical right? things start out vibrantly at first and then it begins to die down. i think shu may owes one now. someone pls remind her :P
but anyway, i'm actually supposed to be studying for my exams but i got a bit bored so thought to share how youth was like for me yesterday.
as i was telling darf during the morning prayer, i was quite apprehensive about the service coz err, i'm the pessimistic type. haha. but ya, i felt quite unsettled about it in the morning. was praying before prac but still had no peace but that's maybe also coz i dramatise things too much in my mind and i imagine the worse. i was afraid that things would go badly in that the tension between the parents and the ym would get worse and everything would go downhill. i was afraid that because of this, God would turn away from us and we'll be back to square zero again but thankfully, along the way, i felt better about things. haha. but yes. for me, service was quite incredible. when pastor told us to get on our knees, it really felt right and God's presence was so strong upon me then and it was at that moment when i was reminded again, that really, it's God who matters. ok la, coz actually, i was feeling quite bleah about a grade that i got for an essay. it really discouraged me coz i thought that this sem would be a really good sem grades-wise and the B will jeopardize those hopes for sure. ok. i know it sounds very silly but i'm quite a grade-oriented person and yeah, while on my knees, the thought just came to me, the B means nothing in light of Him. which is so true of course and ya la, i have to keep looking to Him for my studies and not depend on my own strength or wisdom and all that. He has wrought a greater miracle in the past when somehow, my B- for the CA got pulled up to B+ for the final grade. it is really incredible, especially since i really thought i wrote rubbish but yeah, God works. just must trust Him :)
and k la. a more trivial thing. basically, i'm not the sort to jump during worship. or anything for that matter. i think :P i don't the sensation of all the fats bobbing and somehow, i have no timing when i jump to music. i tried it before and i was quite out of time. haha. and i'll get tired very easily and i'll feel silly for starting but yesterday was incredible. it felt like His joy so filled my heart that i just had to and i did and it felt so liberating. plus, i didn't feel the super fats bobbing and i jumped to the timing and i didn't feel tired. in fact, it was so rejuvenating. so yeah. haha. so ya la, that's more like personal sharing.
but can pray for my exams!!! i have a paper this sat at 9 am which is why i won't be in church for prac but i'll come at about 11 plus after my paper la. it's called woman's reproductive health and well, i'm not good at science. it's mcq but i don't know if there's negative marking and yeah, can pray that i'll do well! :) i won't be greedy la. B+ and i'll be over the moon :)
oh. and yes, keep praying for the ym! and the parents and for revival to come! and for the camp too! :)
but anyway, i'm actually supposed to be studying for my exams but i got a bit bored so thought to share how youth was like for me yesterday.
as i was telling darf during the morning prayer, i was quite apprehensive about the service coz err, i'm the pessimistic type. haha. but ya, i felt quite unsettled about it in the morning. was praying before prac but still had no peace but that's maybe also coz i dramatise things too much in my mind and i imagine the worse. i was afraid that things would go badly in that the tension between the parents and the ym would get worse and everything would go downhill. i was afraid that because of this, God would turn away from us and we'll be back to square zero again but thankfully, along the way, i felt better about things. haha. but yes. for me, service was quite incredible. when pastor told us to get on our knees, it really felt right and God's presence was so strong upon me then and it was at that moment when i was reminded again, that really, it's God who matters. ok la, coz actually, i was feeling quite bleah about a grade that i got for an essay. it really discouraged me coz i thought that this sem would be a really good sem grades-wise and the B will jeopardize those hopes for sure. ok. i know it sounds very silly but i'm quite a grade-oriented person and yeah, while on my knees, the thought just came to me, the B means nothing in light of Him. which is so true of course and ya la, i have to keep looking to Him for my studies and not depend on my own strength or wisdom and all that. He has wrought a greater miracle in the past when somehow, my B- for the CA got pulled up to B+ for the final grade. it is really incredible, especially since i really thought i wrote rubbish but yeah, God works. just must trust Him :)
and k la. a more trivial thing. basically, i'm not the sort to jump during worship. or anything for that matter. i think :P i don't the sensation of all the fats bobbing and somehow, i have no timing when i jump to music. i tried it before and i was quite out of time. haha. and i'll get tired very easily and i'll feel silly for starting but yesterday was incredible. it felt like His joy so filled my heart that i just had to and i did and it felt so liberating. plus, i didn't feel the super fats bobbing and i jumped to the timing and i didn't feel tired. in fact, it was so rejuvenating. so yeah. haha. so ya la, that's more like personal sharing.
but can pray for my exams!!! i have a paper this sat at 9 am which is why i won't be in church for prac but i'll come at about 11 plus after my paper la. it's called woman's reproductive health and well, i'm not good at science. it's mcq but i don't know if there's negative marking and yeah, can pray that i'll do well! :) i won't be greedy la. B+ and i'll be over the moon :)
oh. and yes, keep praying for the ym! and the parents and for revival to come! and for the camp too! :)
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
gosh ok i think like none of us have been following the 'fortnightly' rule. cuz i think we post almost once a weeek
ok. this week so far has been rather...relaxed..spiritually wise, it's been up & down.
some worrying stuff came up and its been rather bad... but then happy stuff happened too! so yeah.
and um. yeah currently some of the stuff that i've been thinking about.
is actually about the heart for God.
To me.. the heart for God is really something i long for. and i suppose everyone does too... And, i suppose that us, in the music min. need to have a heart for God at all times (duh). And not to be proud/narcissistic.
But what i've been thinking is that.. do I really have a heart for God..?
i mean like sometimes i can't really tell seriously.
And the thing that caused me to start thinking about this, was when Euclid told me
euclid said:tian yi, it was a heart of wanting to serve the Lord that now pleases Him, with the same heart offer it unto the Lord everyday and you shall have favour from heaven above.
um yeah so after that.. i thought to myself... do i really have a heart for God?
When i looked back at the initial reason for why i joined the music min... i was really confused.
My initial reason to join the music min was to.. kinda like make new friends in church. and was partly because i wanted to learn an instrument.
I doubt those reasons had something to do with God.
so yeah i'm kinda in a..questionable state right now i suppose. i mean.
I used to be the kind of boy that doesn't care about God.. and ever since i joined the music min. i met friends like Dan,nana,joel,min wei. ben etc etc.
then I started going for 2nd service.. and started opening my heart out to God during youth.
And now. after all the stuff that i've been through (gifts, annointings, Spiritual healings)
Sometimes i still ask myself if im practicing my drum parts so hard because i wanna please God.
or please the friends that i have.
so....yah i'm still pondering over that and asking God to change my heart. if it needs changing...
gosh i'm having such a hard time practicing 'break free' (goes off the practice)
ok. this week so far has been rather...relaxed..spiritually wise, it's been up & down.
some worrying stuff came up and its been rather bad... but then happy stuff happened too! so yeah.
and um. yeah currently some of the stuff that i've been thinking about.
is actually about the heart for God.
To me.. the heart for God is really something i long for. and i suppose everyone does too... And, i suppose that us, in the music min. need to have a heart for God at all times (duh). And not to be proud/narcissistic.
But what i've been thinking is that.. do I really have a heart for God..?
i mean like sometimes i can't really tell seriously.
And the thing that caused me to start thinking about this, was when Euclid told me
euclid said:tian yi, it was a heart of wanting to serve the Lord that now pleases Him, with the same heart offer it unto the Lord everyday and you shall have favour from heaven above.
um yeah so after that.. i thought to myself... do i really have a heart for God?
When i looked back at the initial reason for why i joined the music min... i was really confused.
My initial reason to join the music min was to.. kinda like make new friends in church. and was partly because i wanted to learn an instrument.
I doubt those reasons had something to do with God.
so yeah i'm kinda in a..questionable state right now i suppose. i mean.
I used to be the kind of boy that doesn't care about God.. and ever since i joined the music min. i met friends like Dan,nana,joel,min wei. ben etc etc.
then I started going for 2nd service.. and started opening my heart out to God during youth.
And now. after all the stuff that i've been through (gifts, annointings, Spiritual healings)
Sometimes i still ask myself if im practicing my drum parts so hard because i wanna please God.
or please the friends that i have.
so....yah i'm still pondering over that and asking God to change my heart. if it needs changing...
gosh i'm having such a hard time practicing 'break free' (goes off the practice)
at the cross
hi all,
i wanna share something that God has been reminding me recently: the cross of Christ.
i think that at times, we lose sight of what the cross means, we do not have adequate understanding of what it took for Jesus to die for us. u know at easter or good friday when they always show the excerpt from the 'Jesus' film where He's being crucified? and it's a gut wrenching 3 mins that i always turn my face from because i can't bear the sight of it and the anguish and all that? yeah. i think maybe that isn't very right, a refusal to be confronted with the violence He had to suffer on the cross just so i won't be so squeamish about it and yet at the same time, being desensitized to His saving work.
anyway, so i've been reading from 'my utmost for His highest,' great book, very uplifting but can be quite heavy going but anyway, some excerpts i wanna share since this guy writes really forcefully. the context is that God doesn't forgive us for our sins based on His great love. He forgives our sin based on the cross and the author calls us to meditate on the power of the cross, not the negate the price Jesus had to pay to reconcile us to God.
so yes, excerpts:
'But the conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit blots out every relationship on earth and makes us aware of only one- 'Against you, you only, have I sinned...' (psalm 51:4)... The great miracle of the grace of God is that He forgives sin, and it is in the death of Jesus Christ alone that enables the divine nature to forgive and remain true to itself in doing so. It is shallow nonsense to say that God forgives us because He is love. Once we have been convicted of sin, we will never say this again. The love of God is spelled out on the cross and nowhere else... Forgiveness doesn't merely mean that that i am saved from hell and have been made ready for heaven... Forgiveness means that i am forgiven into a newly created relationship which identifies me with God in Christ. The miracle of redemption is that God turns me, the unholy one, into the standard of himself, the Holy One. He does this by putting into me a new nature, the nature of Christ.' - Nov 19
'The only basis on which God can forgive us is the tremendous tragedy of the Cross of Christ. To base our forgiveness on any other ground is unconscious blasphemy. The only ground on which God can forgive our sin and reinstate us to His favour is through the cross of Christ. There is no other way! Forgiveness, which is so easy for us to accept, cost the agony atCalvary . We should never take the forgiveness of sin, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and take our sanctification in simple faith, and then forget the enormous cost to God that made it all of ours… Compared with the miracle of the forgiveness of sin, the experience of sanctification is small. Sanctification is simply the wonderful expression or evidence of the forgiveness of sins in a human life. But the thing that awakens the deepest fountain of gratitude in a human being is that God has forgiven his sin… Once you realise all that it cost God to forgive you, you will be held as in a vice, constrained by the love of God.' - Nov 20
no need to rush through what i've typed out... take time to ponder, reflect and ask God to give u a fresh understanding of the cross. during communion on sunday, i asked for that, i asked Him to help me imagine the sufferings on the cross for my sin and i was touched by His great sacrifice all over again. don't be afraid to reflect coz of fears that He will be waiting to deal with u about a particular sin or whatever. he disciplines because we are His children. be proud to be called His child.
i wanna share something that God has been reminding me recently: the cross of Christ.
i think that at times, we lose sight of what the cross means, we do not have adequate understanding of what it took for Jesus to die for us. u know at easter or good friday when they always show the excerpt from the 'Jesus' film where He's being crucified? and it's a gut wrenching 3 mins that i always turn my face from because i can't bear the sight of it and the anguish and all that? yeah. i think maybe that isn't very right, a refusal to be confronted with the violence He had to suffer on the cross just so i won't be so squeamish about it and yet at the same time, being desensitized to His saving work.
anyway, so i've been reading from 'my utmost for His highest,' great book, very uplifting but can be quite heavy going but anyway, some excerpts i wanna share since this guy writes really forcefully. the context is that God doesn't forgive us for our sins based on His great love. He forgives our sin based on the cross and the author calls us to meditate on the power of the cross, not the negate the price Jesus had to pay to reconcile us to God.
so yes, excerpts:
'But the conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit blots out every relationship on earth and makes us aware of only one- 'Against you, you only, have I sinned...' (psalm 51:4)... The great miracle of the grace of God is that He forgives sin, and it is in the death of Jesus Christ alone that enables the divine nature to forgive and remain true to itself in doing so. It is shallow nonsense to say that God forgives us because He is love. Once we have been convicted of sin, we will never say this again. The love of God is spelled out on the cross and nowhere else... Forgiveness doesn't merely mean that that i am saved from hell and have been made ready for heaven... Forgiveness means that i am forgiven into a newly created relationship which identifies me with God in Christ. The miracle of redemption is that God turns me, the unholy one, into the standard of himself, the Holy One. He does this by putting into me a new nature, the nature of Christ.' - Nov 19
'The only basis on which God can forgive us is the tremendous tragedy of the Cross of Christ. To base our forgiveness on any other ground is unconscious blasphemy. The only ground on which God can forgive our sin and reinstate us to His favour is through the cross of Christ. There is no other way! Forgiveness, which is so easy for us to accept, cost the agony at
no need to rush through what i've typed out... take time to ponder, reflect and ask God to give u a fresh understanding of the cross. during communion on sunday, i asked for that, i asked Him to help me imagine the sufferings on the cross for my sin and i was touched by His great sacrifice all over again. don't be afraid to reflect coz of fears that He will be waiting to deal with u about a particular sin or whatever. he disciplines because we are His children. be proud to be called His child.
On the RAFT blog
Hi,
I have sort of posted my spiritual update, dated 7 Nov 07 on the RAFT blog. There's other stuff to share but yep, shall see whether I have the time to do so. (Yes I do have things to do too for all you cynics out there =p!)
I have sort of posted my spiritual update, dated 7 Nov 07 on the RAFT blog. There's other stuff to share but yep, shall see whether I have the time to do so. (Yes I do have things to do too for all you cynics out there =p!)
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Some post...
Today is indeed a very gloomy evening. But no matter. So everyone is feeling fine? Any prayer requests anyone?
Yeah I just want to share about my classmate whom I mentioned in the post earlier. I talked to his parents about the Youth Camp today and his parents were positive about it! Praise God!!!!
Today I done a passage in Exodus 4:1-5. I feel that God is telling me in the passage that He will keep us from harm, but it is up to us to believe Him. Personally I feel that this passage is relevant to me as I got attacked spiritually in cyberspace. (Josh should know about this) Yeah I think that God will protect His people, like He protected the Israelites from attacks and other stuff. So we gotta rely on Him and trust that He will deliver us.
Another point I want to share is in 2 Kings 4:1-7. It is the part where Elisha helps a widow pay off her debts by everlasting oil. The widow asked her sons to get as many jars as they can find. In verse 5, however, the widow asked her sons to find more jars as she realised that there were still leftover oil. I think, from this passage, it says that God gives everlasting supplies. But if you limit your field of vision, God can only give you this much. Let me give an example. During a test on your dreaded subject (in my case, chinese), you are trusting God for great results. But, in the back of your mind you believe that "Hey, I suck at xxx subject. I trust God, yes, but... I trust he'll give me a pass at the most." then He will give you a pass, since you expected it. But if you entirely trust Him (work is still needed on this part) and your mindset is"Ok, God, I'll attempt xxx subject. I FULLY trust in You, for Your will be done, not mine." I believe God will give you what you desire. Of course it must co-incide with His will.
That's about all I gotta share... I'm feeling pretty weird... Anyway, have a goodnight sleep!!!
God bless everyone who read this,
Yong Quan
Yeah I just want to share about my classmate whom I mentioned in the post earlier. I talked to his parents about the Youth Camp today and his parents were positive about it! Praise God!!!!
Today I done a passage in Exodus 4:1-5. I feel that God is telling me in the passage that He will keep us from harm, but it is up to us to believe Him. Personally I feel that this passage is relevant to me as I got attacked spiritually in cyberspace. (Josh should know about this) Yeah I think that God will protect His people, like He protected the Israelites from attacks and other stuff. So we gotta rely on Him and trust that He will deliver us.
Another point I want to share is in 2 Kings 4:1-7. It is the part where Elisha helps a widow pay off her debts by everlasting oil. The widow asked her sons to get as many jars as they can find. In verse 5, however, the widow asked her sons to find more jars as she realised that there were still leftover oil. I think, from this passage, it says that God gives everlasting supplies. But if you limit your field of vision, God can only give you this much. Let me give an example. During a test on your dreaded subject (in my case, chinese), you are trusting God for great results. But, in the back of your mind you believe that "Hey, I suck at xxx subject. I trust God, yes, but... I trust he'll give me a pass at the most." then He will give you a pass, since you expected it. But if you entirely trust Him (work is still needed on this part) and your mindset is"Ok, God, I'll attempt xxx subject. I FULLY trust in You, for Your will be done, not mine." I believe God will give you what you desire. Of course it must co-incide with His will.
That's about all I gotta share... I'm feeling pretty weird... Anyway, have a goodnight sleep!!!
God bless everyone who read this,
Yong Quan
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
breadcrumbs
hello everyone!
i've decided to take pink! because that's my favourite colour (and NO, i'm not a bimbo). hahaha.
anyway, thanks to tianyi for coming up with this cool blog! i'm just curious.. why "valleybythesea"? any special significance?
okay tonight is my massive blogging day. hmm for what has been really bugging me this week, go check out my recent post on RAFT. it's really long, i'm sorry, but i'm a lit student :D
so now that you've all read that, let me share on how my spiritual life has been recently. i thank God that it has really picked up ever since the last worship set i led around a month ago, and even though sometimes i still get bogged down by work and worry (i'm human after all), God has given me the grace to stand under trials (1 Corinthians 10:13)
actually a few months' ago i was quite sad over my QT state, because for some reason i could never seem to spend more than 20min doing QT. and that's such a pathetic amount of time when you consider how those great men of faith like "Praying Hyde", J.O. Fraser can spend hours reading the Bible and praying. (go check out their stories! very inspiring). but anyway i left it at that because i thought that well, it's the quality and not the quantity that counts.
but the cool thing is that this week, as i started on my "Observations - Interpretations - Applications" thing, God has graciously helped me to spend even more time with Him! now i try to write down my prayer requests for each day, and it has really helped. i've become more focused in my prayers, and seeing how God answers (sometimes almost instantly) is really exciting. and for me, i just like the thrill of digging into His Word on my own and discovering things for myself. as i always believe, His Word was not written for the smart, but for lay people like us. so we can never say that we don't "understand", because we've the best Teacher at hand to give us insights :)
so, back to why this post is titled "breadcrumbs". i was thinking of the parable in Matthew 15:21-28 that Elder Edwin shared during his sermon on sunday. i think his message on prayer was very timely for me because i've been guilty of not praying enough. especially since there's the whole Christmas thing coming up, i really really need to pray and let God work! so the sermon was both a rebuke as well as a challenge to trust God with my plans.
i'm still very intrigued by the parable above because i feel like i'm just scratching the surface only, but anyway, the thing that stood out most for me is the level of FAITH AND HUMILITY that the woman had. she was willing to accept anything from God, because she knew that these "anything"s would become valuable simply because of the status of the Person who had thrown it down. how do i explain it? for me, the challenge lies in believing that whatever "crumbs" God might throw down into my life (i.e. supposedly bad things), they are actually GOOD FOR ME. and they are good not because they possess any inherent worth, but because the Person who threw it down (i.e. God) is wise, loving, kind, understanding etc.
i hope i managed to get that point across haha. so anyway, i guess this can be extrapolated to the youth ministry too. we are allowed to pray for good things, but we shouldn't start sulking when we get "lemons" instead. because God knows what's best, what's TIMELY, and we should really trust Him more in this aspect.
i've so much more to share! but must be focused haha. so that's all for this post, i'll pray and see if God prompts me to share more another day. for now, prayer request!
pray for the children's homes to reply me with POSITIVE answers by this friday. canossaville has already replied to say that they'll be closed and their Christmas schedule is already packed, so that's a closed door. i'm quite worried, naturally, but yes just trying to trust God with this :)
okay this blog is a fantastic idea because it indulges my propensity to be longwinded! hahaha. have a great week everyone :)
i've decided to take pink! because that's my favourite colour (and NO, i'm not a bimbo). hahaha.
anyway, thanks to tianyi for coming up with this cool blog! i'm just curious.. why "valleybythesea"? any special significance?
okay tonight is my massive blogging day. hmm for what has been really bugging me this week, go check out my recent post on RAFT. it's really long, i'm sorry, but i'm a lit student :D
so now that you've all read that, let me share on how my spiritual life has been recently. i thank God that it has really picked up ever since the last worship set i led around a month ago, and even though sometimes i still get bogged down by work and worry (i'm human after all), God has given me the grace to stand under trials (1 Corinthians 10:13)
actually a few months' ago i was quite sad over my QT state, because for some reason i could never seem to spend more than 20min doing QT. and that's such a pathetic amount of time when you consider how those great men of faith like "Praying Hyde", J.O. Fraser can spend hours reading the Bible and praying. (go check out their stories! very inspiring). but anyway i left it at that because i thought that well, it's the quality and not the quantity that counts.
but the cool thing is that this week, as i started on my "Observations - Interpretations - Applications" thing, God has graciously helped me to spend even more time with Him! now i try to write down my prayer requests for each day, and it has really helped. i've become more focused in my prayers, and seeing how God answers (sometimes almost instantly) is really exciting. and for me, i just like the thrill of digging into His Word on my own and discovering things for myself. as i always believe, His Word was not written for the smart, but for lay people like us. so we can never say that we don't "understand", because we've the best Teacher at hand to give us insights :)
so, back to why this post is titled "breadcrumbs". i was thinking of the parable in Matthew 15:21-28 that Elder Edwin shared during his sermon on sunday. i think his message on prayer was very timely for me because i've been guilty of not praying enough. especially since there's the whole Christmas thing coming up, i really really need to pray and let God work! so the sermon was both a rebuke as well as a challenge to trust God with my plans.
i'm still very intrigued by the parable above because i feel like i'm just scratching the surface only, but anyway, the thing that stood out most for me is the level of FAITH AND HUMILITY that the woman had. she was willing to accept anything from God, because she knew that these "anything"s would become valuable simply because of the status of the Person who had thrown it down. how do i explain it? for me, the challenge lies in believing that whatever "crumbs" God might throw down into my life (i.e. supposedly bad things), they are actually GOOD FOR ME. and they are good not because they possess any inherent worth, but because the Person who threw it down (i.e. God) is wise, loving, kind, understanding etc.
i hope i managed to get that point across haha. so anyway, i guess this can be extrapolated to the youth ministry too. we are allowed to pray for good things, but we shouldn't start sulking when we get "lemons" instead. because God knows what's best, what's TIMELY, and we should really trust Him more in this aspect.
i've so much more to share! but must be focused haha. so that's all for this post, i'll pray and see if God prompts me to share more another day. for now, prayer request!
pray for the children's homes to reply me with POSITIVE answers by this friday. canossaville has already replied to say that they'll be closed and their Christmas schedule is already packed, so that's a closed door. i'm quite worried, naturally, but yes just trying to trust God with this :)
okay this blog is a fantastic idea because it indulges my propensity to be longwinded! hahaha. have a great week everyone :)
read your comments
hey guys (once again),
pls read the comments at the end of your postings coz it's ya, my response to what u've written and all that. it's quite hard keeping in touch with people constantly and stuff so i'm gonna try to do so here in cyber land. haha. let's use this place to encourage one another ok? that's quite the point anyway. haha.
pls read the comments at the end of your postings coz it's ya, my response to what u've written and all that. it's quite hard keeping in touch with people constantly and stuff so i'm gonna try to do so here in cyber land. haha. let's use this place to encourage one another ok? that's quite the point anyway. haha.
wow
hey guys... (since it's only the guys who have posted thus far :P)
i'm really encouraged to read your postings, especially josh's. thanks for sharing so much. i'm actually supposed to be working on my essay now but ah, decided to take a break and write a bit about how my walk has been as well :)
hmm. one reason why i'm so on about having this blog is that we all have something to look back to, a description of the times when things are good or bad in whatever sense of the word and we see how God has brought us through. basically, this blog is sorta an enforced kind of journal entry thing? haha. enforced coz everyone (in the ymm comm) is supposed to blog at least once in 2 weeks as a sorta mutual accountability thing.
ok. personally, i'm so excited and encouraged about what God is doing in the ym. i don't think i've ever prayed so faithfully and fervently about the ym before! haha, yes, confession :P but it's so cool to be seeing people who have in the past, looked completely nonchalant, getting to their feet in excitement and praising God. of course, i don't know how personal spiritual walks are but yeah, personally, i find it hard to worship God in vibrancy and truth when my contentment is not found in Him. so yeah, let's keep praying and seeking for more of God's fire and passion in our ministry. i remember joel sharing during prayer meeting that apathy, like passion spreads fast too and well, let's distinguish all apathy with the passion God has poured and is pouring into our lives ya? :)
and let's remember to pray for those who haven't been coming too. there're probably some people whom God has put upon your heart coz of your relationship with the person or coz the person used to be so passionate about God but has somehow slipped away. let's pray for those lost sheep as well, even as we pray for the current sheep in the pen and those that have yet to know the Shepherd.
i'm reading Isaiah now and i'm loving it. both on the literary appreciation level and the spiritual level. haha. i just wanna share something that was so cool for me yesterday:
it's a sort of warning i guess... but eh, Isaiah is full of judgments and stuff actually although it is interspersed by passages of hope, repentance, forgiveness, God's favour and all that. but yes...
Isaiah 5
a song about his vineyard:
My loved one had a vineyard
on a fertile hillside.
'For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.'
and yeah, it's the whole idea of how we are His children and we're called to bear good fruit and the judgment that follows if we keep deliberately disobeying him is that the barriers that surrounds us for protection will be removed (v5) and that there will be nothing to distinguish us from the rest of the world if we keep insisting on following its ways (v6). i know this might sound scary and harsh but well, the disconcerting passage in Revelations says the same thing:
Revelation 3:15-17
'... a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.'
i'm really encouraged to read your postings, especially josh's. thanks for sharing so much. i'm actually supposed to be working on my essay now but ah, decided to take a break and write a bit about how my walk has been as well :)
hmm. one reason why i'm so on about having this blog is that we all have something to look back to, a description of the times when things are good or bad in whatever sense of the word and we see how God has brought us through. basically, this blog is sorta an enforced kind of journal entry thing? haha. enforced coz everyone (in the ymm comm) is supposed to blog at least once in 2 weeks as a sorta mutual accountability thing.
ok. personally, i'm so excited and encouraged about what God is doing in the ym. i don't think i've ever prayed so faithfully and fervently about the ym before! haha, yes, confession :P but it's so cool to be seeing people who have in the past, looked completely nonchalant, getting to their feet in excitement and praising God. of course, i don't know how personal spiritual walks are but yeah, personally, i find it hard to worship God in vibrancy and truth when my contentment is not found in Him. so yeah, let's keep praying and seeking for more of God's fire and passion in our ministry. i remember joel sharing during prayer meeting that apathy, like passion spreads fast too and well, let's distinguish all apathy with the passion God has poured and is pouring into our lives ya? :)
and let's remember to pray for those who haven't been coming too. there're probably some people whom God has put upon your heart coz of your relationship with the person or coz the person used to be so passionate about God but has somehow slipped away. let's pray for those lost sheep as well, even as we pray for the current sheep in the pen and those that have yet to know the Shepherd.
i'm reading Isaiah now and i'm loving it. both on the literary appreciation level and the spiritual level. haha. i just wanna share something that was so cool for me yesterday:
it's a sort of warning i guess... but eh, Isaiah is full of judgments and stuff actually although it is interspersed by passages of hope, repentance, forgiveness, God's favour and all that. but yes...
Isaiah 5
The Song of the Vineyard
1 I will sing for the one I lovea song about his vineyard:
My loved one had a vineyard
on a fertile hillside.
2 He dug it up and cleared it of stones
and planted it with the choicest vines.
He built a watchtower in it
and cut out a winepress as well.
Then he looked for a crop of good grapes,
but it yielded only bad fruit.
3 "Now you dwellers in Jerusalem and men of Judah,
judge between me and my vineyard.
4 What more could have been done for my vineyard
than I have done for it?
When I looked for good grapes,
why did it yield only bad?
5 Now I will tell you
what I am going to do to my vineyard:
I will take away its hedge,
and it will be destroyed;
I will break down its wall,
and it will be trampled.
6 I will make it a wasteland,
neither pruned nor cultivated,
and briers and thorns will grow there.
I will command the clouds
not to rain on it."
basically, what struck me was that it's natural to expect a good harvest from good seeds. that should be how it is what. and ok, i cheated a bit here by searching the concordance but whilst reading, i was reminded about how WE are God's seeds:
1 Peter 1: 23'For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.'
and yeah, it's the whole idea of how we are His children and we're called to bear good fruit and the judgment that follows if we keep deliberately disobeying him is that the barriers that surrounds us for protection will be removed (v5) and that there will be nothing to distinguish us from the rest of the world if we keep insisting on following its ways (v6). i know this might sound scary and harsh but well, the disconcerting passage in Revelations says the same thing:
Revelation 3:15-17
'I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.'
if u read on in Isaiah 5, there's mention about the acquisition of wealth for hoarding's sake and stuff so the passage above isn't out of context or what but hmm. in a more positive light, the passage from Isaiah reminds us that we are born of God through the blood of Christ, that we are
1 Peter 2:9'... a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.'
ok la. i need to get back to my essay :P but yeah, on a more encouraging and inspiring note,
the Lord 'will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain.' (Isaiah 4:6)
i wonder who bothered to read through till the end :P haha.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
THIS IS TIANYI'S POST HA
yay well im here to post again. so im free from any people/person who will chase me to post.
This weeks been..ok so so sometimes i cant feel God sometimes i can...
and um yea. Thank God for helping me with my retest though. even when i didn't study(not that im proud of it)
and the paper was relatively doable
(is there such a word? i think its like.. Do-able..like able to do it or something)
ANYWAY... yah so thats my weeeek. oh no theres so much rain.
This weeks been..ok so so sometimes i cant feel God sometimes i can...
and um yea. Thank God for helping me with my retest though. even when i didn't study(not that im proud of it)
and the paper was relatively doable
(is there such a word? i think its like.. Do-able..like able to do it or something)
ANYWAY... yah so thats my weeeek. oh no theres so much rain.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Prayer requests
Hey guys, i know im supposed to share about my spiritual life etc. but i kinda got an urgent prayer request...
The classmate I'm witnessing to is interested to go for the camp but his parents are TOTALLY against Christianity... Yeah, he told me that his parents immediately stated NO when he asked his parents about the Transformers Camp... So I suppose we could pray for him. Conviction does not come from us, though, it comes from the Holy Spirit. Yeah and about my spiritual walk...
Not as long as Josh... xP but I think that it is pretty... ok in that sense... but I'm still trying to understand Pastor Adrian's message... Yeah and I "feel" that God is doing something mighty in the Youth Ministry and Satan is trying to fight back. Hard. So we could keep praying for the Youth Ministry, for Pastor as he is ministering to us and the apparent devil attack shown in Priscilla. But we believe God can do anything amen? And remember to pray for our classmates/ collegues/students/friends/slaves etc. that God will appear to them and they will see the LIGHT!!! Yeah and we gotta pray for each other. Cos the devil kinda hates us all... So we gotta make a stand and kick the devil in the butt when he comes to tempt us. Of course we cannot do it by our own strength. God is the only one who can strengthen us divine-ly to stand guard against the devil attacks. In Ephesians 6:14-18, Paul is talking about the armor of God. This verse kinda stands out to me.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" Eph 6:18
Not only must we put on the armor of God, we gotta praying in the Spirit. Oh yah, the armor of God, in summary, is...
-Belt of Truth
-Breastplate of Righteousness
-Shoes filled with the Gospel of peace. (need some help interpreting this part)
-Shield of Faith
-Helmet of Salvation
-Sword of the Spirit.
I suppose these "items" can help us against devil attacks... Right? Hehe...
Another part I want to share about is in 2 Peter 2:1-22. To summarise it up, it is talking about false teachers during the end times. (which is about now... I think). Yeah so looking around, it seems kinda true right? All these talk about evolution and other stuff. They are all out to stop the Truth from spreading. I just wanna share this point so that we can all be geared up and ready for the next blow the devil will send. Cos if we are doing all these (serving in the Youth Ministry... different areas) in God's will (which I believe we all are) then the devil will go out to all odds to try to stop us, in terms of circumstances, emotional issues etc. I mean, when you tell someone secular about the Good News (generally, from what I've seen) they will think you are some kinda weirdo and they do not want to have anything to do with you. During Pastor's message on Sunday, he mentioned about righteous anger. It is frustrating right, seeing a lotta people rejecting the Good News. Ok lar, from what my classmates were telling me, they just cannot believe that Christ died for us. Christ died for us cos He loves us right?
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" Romans 3:23-24
Yeah, just want to end off with these few verses...
"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility" Ephesians 3:11
"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised"Hebrews 10:36
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 2 Peter 5:7
Yup... that's about all I have to share today.
God bless all of you amen,
Yong Quan
P.S this is abt 2 month's worth of... stuff
The classmate I'm witnessing to is interested to go for the camp but his parents are TOTALLY against Christianity... Yeah, he told me that his parents immediately stated NO when he asked his parents about the Transformers Camp... So I suppose we could pray for him. Conviction does not come from us, though, it comes from the Holy Spirit. Yeah and about my spiritual walk...
Not as long as Josh... xP but I think that it is pretty... ok in that sense... but I'm still trying to understand Pastor Adrian's message... Yeah and I "feel" that God is doing something mighty in the Youth Ministry and Satan is trying to fight back. Hard. So we could keep praying for the Youth Ministry, for Pastor as he is ministering to us and the apparent devil attack shown in Priscilla. But we believe God can do anything amen? And remember to pray for our classmates/ collegues/students/friends/slaves etc. that God will appear to them and they will see the LIGHT!!! Yeah and we gotta pray for each other. Cos the devil kinda hates us all... So we gotta make a stand and kick the devil in the butt when he comes to tempt us. Of course we cannot do it by our own strength. God is the only one who can strengthen us divine-ly to stand guard against the devil attacks. In Ephesians 6:14-18, Paul is talking about the armor of God. This verse kinda stands out to me.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" Eph 6:18
Not only must we put on the armor of God, we gotta praying in the Spirit. Oh yah, the armor of God, in summary, is...
-Belt of Truth
-Breastplate of Righteousness
-Shoes filled with the Gospel of peace. (need some help interpreting this part)
-Shield of Faith
-Helmet of Salvation
-Sword of the Spirit.
I suppose these "items" can help us against devil attacks... Right? Hehe...
Another part I want to share about is in 2 Peter 2:1-22. To summarise it up, it is talking about false teachers during the end times. (which is about now... I think). Yeah so looking around, it seems kinda true right? All these talk about evolution and other stuff. They are all out to stop the Truth from spreading. I just wanna share this point so that we can all be geared up and ready for the next blow the devil will send. Cos if we are doing all these (serving in the Youth Ministry... different areas) in God's will (which I believe we all are) then the devil will go out to all odds to try to stop us, in terms of circumstances, emotional issues etc. I mean, when you tell someone secular about the Good News (generally, from what I've seen) they will think you are some kinda weirdo and they do not want to have anything to do with you. During Pastor's message on Sunday, he mentioned about righteous anger. It is frustrating right, seeing a lotta people rejecting the Good News. Ok lar, from what my classmates were telling me, they just cannot believe that Christ died for us. Christ died for us cos He loves us right?
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" Romans 3:23-24
Yeah, just want to end off with these few verses...
"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility" Ephesians 3:11
"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised"Hebrews 10:36
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 2 Peter 5:7
Yup... that's about all I have to share today.
God bless all of you amen,
Yong Quan
P.S this is abt 2 month's worth of... stuff
Monday, October 22, 2007
okay! my spiritual walk huh!
well. i've been on spiritual high for this whole week.
and um partly cuz of the rusty event.
but seriously man! its kinda cool! cuz i feel really really excited about our youth now. and all the cool stuff that's been happening to the sec 1's... well. mostly the girls but aye!
and..hm well im like so ready to go RAAR RAAR for youth now! i think i know how ben feels :D
and yup! THATS ALL TONIGHT
YOU KNOW WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW?
ok you're wouldnt know anyway hahaha;D
well. i've been on spiritual high for this whole week.
and um partly cuz of the rusty event.
but seriously man! its kinda cool! cuz i feel really really excited about our youth now. and all the cool stuff that's been happening to the sec 1's... well. mostly the girls but aye!
and..hm well im like so ready to go RAAR RAAR for youth now! i think i know how ben feels :D
and yup! THATS ALL TONIGHT
YOU KNOW WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW?
ok you're wouldnt know anyway hahaha;D
1st Post
Yay!
I get to be the first person to post on the new Youth Music Ministry (YMM) Blog!!! gosh, there are now so many blogs around these days it's hard to keep up with all of them.
To recapitulate (if my memory does not fail me), some of the functions of this blog is to allow persons in the YMM to:
a) Share their spiritual lives (both in good times and struggles)
b) Give words of encouragement / edifying comments
c) Thanksgiving
d) Any other issues pertaining to the YMM
Yep, the above are just a few purposes of the blog and in no way should the blog be limited to them.
Anyway, so I'm suppose to share how things are going for me spiritually. As of today things are still going really swell. God has really been ministering to me through QT, the services and i'm really just amazed by how God is moving in the YM and I am so encouraged by the young people's passion for God (I managed to read some of their blogs today).
However, having said that, we must be extra cautious and careful of attacks from the devil as Adrian and Minwei have shared. It's so easy to feel hyped up for now especially when you hear so many people getting excited for God and expecting really big things to happen. But what would our reaction be when people around us show signs of losing their passion or those "big things" don't come to pass as we thought they would be. I have experienced such things happening in my life and I must confess that they have discouraged me greatly at times.
I still remember when we were all praying for Pris to be completely healed by a certain date but when it did not happen my faith was shaken. However, looking back at that whole saga, I am actually glad it happened because it increased my faith eventually, gave me a more initmate understanding of God being the master of every situation and thought me alot about seeking God for ourselves (big thanks to Ben & Vincent for their sharings here).
Having said the above, I'm not trying to say that we should not expect big things from God lest we feel greater discouragement. Neither am I saying that I have doubts that God is going to do something really awesome (He already is doing such amazing things and I bet there's more to come =)!). But yep, this is just a reminder to myself to be continually vigilant in these areas because I for one usually get very discouraged when I see friends back-slide and feel a sense of guilt that I didn't do more.
Believing in my own abilities and efforts to make things "work" for God is still an area which I struggle in and it's because of this I get easily discouraged when things don't work out as I want them to be. It's especially dangerous when I deceive myself into believing that I've given God control by doing spiritual things when actually I am focussing more on the acts I've done instead of God. For example:"Hey God. I've prayer so many times, I've fasted so much, I've done my QT, I've spent so much time preparing for worship but yet you don't seem to be working!".
Think God has really been continually dealing with me in this area and the more I am willing to let God take control and change my attitude it's amazing how things work out and even when they don't seem to work out that spirit of discouragement is no longer there.
As we look to God to send us revival, there may be times when negative things come our way. Let us not lose track of all the things our God has done and can do and will do because of some discouraging issues. Instead, lets continue to place all our trust in our Saviour, committing everything into His hands.
I get to be the first person to post on the new Youth Music Ministry (YMM) Blog!!! gosh, there are now so many blogs around these days it's hard to keep up with all of them.
To recapitulate (if my memory does not fail me), some of the functions of this blog is to allow persons in the YMM to:
a) Share their spiritual lives (both in good times and struggles)
b) Give words of encouragement / edifying comments
c) Thanksgiving
d) Any other issues pertaining to the YMM
Yep, the above are just a few purposes of the blog and in no way should the blog be limited to them.
Anyway, so I'm suppose to share how things are going for me spiritually. As of today things are still going really swell. God has really been ministering to me through QT, the services and i'm really just amazed by how God is moving in the YM and I am so encouraged by the young people's passion for God (I managed to read some of their blogs today).
However, having said that, we must be extra cautious and careful of attacks from the devil as Adrian and Minwei have shared. It's so easy to feel hyped up for now especially when you hear so many people getting excited for God and expecting really big things to happen. But what would our reaction be when people around us show signs of losing their passion or those "big things" don't come to pass as we thought they would be. I have experienced such things happening in my life and I must confess that they have discouraged me greatly at times.
I still remember when we were all praying for Pris to be completely healed by a certain date but when it did not happen my faith was shaken. However, looking back at that whole saga, I am actually glad it happened because it increased my faith eventually, gave me a more initmate understanding of God being the master of every situation and thought me alot about seeking God for ourselves (big thanks to Ben & Vincent for their sharings here).
Having said the above, I'm not trying to say that we should not expect big things from God lest we feel greater discouragement. Neither am I saying that I have doubts that God is going to do something really awesome (He already is doing such amazing things and I bet there's more to come =)!). But yep, this is just a reminder to myself to be continually vigilant in these areas because I for one usually get very discouraged when I see friends back-slide and feel a sense of guilt that I didn't do more.
Believing in my own abilities and efforts to make things "work" for God is still an area which I struggle in and it's because of this I get easily discouraged when things don't work out as I want them to be. It's especially dangerous when I deceive myself into believing that I've given God control by doing spiritual things when actually I am focussing more on the acts I've done instead of God. For example:"Hey God. I've prayer so many times, I've fasted so much, I've done my QT, I've spent so much time preparing for worship but yet you don't seem to be working!".
Think God has really been continually dealing with me in this area and the more I am willing to let God take control and change my attitude it's amazing how things work out and even when they don't seem to work out that spirit of discouragement is no longer there.
As we look to God to send us revival, there may be times when negative things come our way. Let us not lose track of all the things our God has done and can do and will do because of some discouraging issues. Instead, lets continue to place all our trust in our Saviour, committing everything into His hands.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)