Yesterday God told me to let go of all my baggage.
and i believe, its true for most of the things/stuff that's been happening rather recently.
For the past 2 weeks i've been rather burdened with like a tremendous load of things, (studies/whos gonna replace me when im on duty/ etc)
and.. yeah honestly i haven't been doing qt.
like after i got back my results i think i just totally deviated from it.
And... yeah im hoping that in these last 2 weeks before i fly off, God will really bring me closer to him... before my life really turns upside down. or something like that.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
another cool thing
i led bs for my cg this week, the 'older' group and i had a lot of fun preparing for it coz it was a good time waiting on God, praying and even carefully thinking through the questions and reflecting upon how God has worked in my life and praising Him for such all over again. what was the greatest milestone in your christian walk? one that changed the way u saw God forever?
mine was when i was like 19? during that period for about a year, i felt very isolated and alone and i tried to fill that gap with shopping. i know, terrible right? haha. but yeah. i remember once when i came back on sunday evening with bags of clothes and what not and they just laid there in their glossy bags and that's when it became so clear to me that things of this world cannot satisfy. from then on, it was a bittersweet experience of looking to God for comfort and strength. i remember not being able to sleep at night, waking up at some weird hour at night and then reading the book of Isaiah. during my season of darkness, God's light shone bright for me and led me out. that was the time when i grew the most in God, when He was so much closer to me than anyone else. i knew from then on that there's no turning back from God. how can i turn back from the one who was there for me when no one else was and no one else could understand what i was feeling and going through? that period, on hindsight, was the best time of my life.
and yeah, can u say that there's no turning back on God for u from this time forth? if no, then why not? but if u want God to bring u to that point of i don't know how to put it, then just ask Him to deepen His relationship with u but hey, be prepared for what that could entail.
anyway, i deviate. the other cool thing i learnt about worship this week is that true worship involves a turning away from the ways and standards of this world. we cannot claim to be worshippers of God if we still have one leg in the ways of this world and what not. we cannot subscribe to the doctrines of this world and say that we are true worshippers of Christ. with God, things are pretty much white and black i think. it's only us who try to find excuses, muddy things up and say they're grey areas. if we really seek God and ask to know His standards, He will reveal, whether through His word or people or whatever.
so, which side are u on?
mine was when i was like 19? during that period for about a year, i felt very isolated and alone and i tried to fill that gap with shopping. i know, terrible right? haha. but yeah. i remember once when i came back on sunday evening with bags of clothes and what not and they just laid there in their glossy bags and that's when it became so clear to me that things of this world cannot satisfy. from then on, it was a bittersweet experience of looking to God for comfort and strength. i remember not being able to sleep at night, waking up at some weird hour at night and then reading the book of Isaiah. during my season of darkness, God's light shone bright for me and led me out. that was the time when i grew the most in God, when He was so much closer to me than anyone else. i knew from then on that there's no turning back from God. how can i turn back from the one who was there for me when no one else was and no one else could understand what i was feeling and going through? that period, on hindsight, was the best time of my life.
and yeah, can u say that there's no turning back on God for u from this time forth? if no, then why not? but if u want God to bring u to that point of i don't know how to put it, then just ask Him to deepen His relationship with u but hey, be prepared for what that could entail.
anyway, i deviate. the other cool thing i learnt about worship this week is that true worship involves a turning away from the ways and standards of this world. we cannot claim to be worshippers of God if we still have one leg in the ways of this world and what not. we cannot subscribe to the doctrines of this world and say that we are true worshippers of Christ. with God, things are pretty much white and black i think. it's only us who try to find excuses, muddy things up and say they're grey areas. if we really seek God and ask to know His standards, He will reveal, whether through His word or people or whatever.
so, which side are u on?
Friday, May 16, 2008
back from bangkok!
hey guys,
just touched down last night. spent about 4 days and 3 nights there and it was a lot of shopping and food. we ate tom yum soup and phad thai and sticky rice till we nearly dropped. hee.
anyway, i'm thankful that i went on the trip coz it really made me disciplined about qt and i've been very blessed so i wanna share about that and some lessons i learnt from exodus about worship.
i felt so loved by God during the trip coz He opened my eyes to see Him working and answering my prayers. minor things like praying that we won't get cheated by cab drivers to more significant things like getting to know the other people on the trip better coz i went with my good friend and her church friends and it was a good learning experience too coz i saw how much they love each other and their friends and flock in church and the thing about how others will know that we are disciples of Christ when we love one another popped up for me very strongly. i enjoyed the quiet mornings spent in prayer and word whilst the others were sleeping too. it was very refreshing and not like most holidays where there's a get out by a certain time thing but a lot more free and easy.
so anyway, i've been reading exodus ever since sun coz i was inspired to read it after the mother's day message and i'm excited about the lessons i'm learning from it. from exodus 10:
25 But Moses said, "You must allow us to have sacrifices and burnt offerings to present to the LORD our God. 26 Our livestock too must go with us; not a hoof is to be left behind. We have to use some of them in worshiping the LORD our God, and until we get there we will not know what we are to use to worship the LORD."
this passage spoke to me coz it's about bringing our all to worship and being ready to sacrifice whatever He calls us to lay down. it's about faith too and having such a close walk with God that we hear immediately what He calls us to lay down. it's that readiness and trust that is essential when we approach God and i was just like wow. i wanna do that and be like that too.
ya la. let's keep praying for the ym too. it's a spiritual work and requires spiritual means.
just touched down last night. spent about 4 days and 3 nights there and it was a lot of shopping and food. we ate tom yum soup and phad thai and sticky rice till we nearly dropped. hee.
anyway, i'm thankful that i went on the trip coz it really made me disciplined about qt and i've been very blessed so i wanna share about that and some lessons i learnt from exodus about worship.
i felt so loved by God during the trip coz He opened my eyes to see Him working and answering my prayers. minor things like praying that we won't get cheated by cab drivers to more significant things like getting to know the other people on the trip better coz i went with my good friend and her church friends and it was a good learning experience too coz i saw how much they love each other and their friends and flock in church and the thing about how others will know that we are disciples of Christ when we love one another popped up for me very strongly. i enjoyed the quiet mornings spent in prayer and word whilst the others were sleeping too. it was very refreshing and not like most holidays where there's a get out by a certain time thing but a lot more free and easy.
so anyway, i've been reading exodus ever since sun coz i was inspired to read it after the mother's day message and i'm excited about the lessons i'm learning from it. from exodus 10:
25 But Moses said, "You must allow us to have sacrifices and burnt offerings to present to the LORD our God. 26 Our livestock too must go with us; not a hoof is to be left behind. We have to use some of them in worshiping the LORD our God, and until we get there we will not know what we are to use to worship the LORD."
this passage spoke to me coz it's about bringing our all to worship and being ready to sacrifice whatever He calls us to lay down. it's about faith too and having such a close walk with God that we hear immediately what He calls us to lay down. it's that readiness and trust that is essential when we approach God and i was just like wow. i wanna do that and be like that too.
ya la. let's keep praying for the ym too. it's a spiritual work and requires spiritual means.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
i think yesterday was one time where i learnt what true worship is.
its not about how you do it, or where, but more of why you do it. and how you respond to the things around you.
2 days ago, i had to run around my house neighbourhood in ...disgustingly disgusting shorts.
when i went out. i felt so crap like i just didn't feel like doing the daily jog.
and thats when God reminded me about true worship; why do you raise your hands in worship? Cuz the congregation does it? or cuz it looks cool? ( ok clearly it doesn't)
but how bout more of cuz we lift it to actually praise God? To have the actual close and personal worship that we share.
another time when i went jogging, God impressed upon me the decision i should actually have taken. and i believe will have to take sooner or later.
As some of you know, i may not be able to make it for worship pracs because i got a cca in the morning, thus the two commitments collide. And as i was asking God for help, to find out which way is the way he wishes for me to continue.
He gave me this sentence
" A true christian walks the narrow path, Many fall out of it into the wide one"
even though God didn't exactly answer my question. but i think he was talking about how easy it is for my to just lie and give a fake excuse just to skip band and go for prac.
which i sometimes have been doing. So... i guess that the direction he is kinda leading me into is to withdraw from the music min for a while.
Maybe. i don't really know yet.
its not about how you do it, or where, but more of why you do it. and how you respond to the things around you.
2 days ago, i had to run around my house neighbourhood in ...disgustingly disgusting shorts.
when i went out. i felt so crap like i just didn't feel like doing the daily jog.
and thats when God reminded me about true worship; why do you raise your hands in worship? Cuz the congregation does it? or cuz it looks cool? ( ok clearly it doesn't)
but how bout more of cuz we lift it to actually praise God? To have the actual close and personal worship that we share.
another time when i went jogging, God impressed upon me the decision i should actually have taken. and i believe will have to take sooner or later.
As some of you know, i may not be able to make it for worship pracs because i got a cca in the morning, thus the two commitments collide. And as i was asking God for help, to find out which way is the way he wishes for me to continue.
He gave me this sentence
" A true christian walks the narrow path, Many fall out of it into the wide one"
even though God didn't exactly answer my question. but i think he was talking about how easy it is for my to just lie and give a fake excuse just to skip band and go for prac.
which i sometimes have been doing. So... i guess that the direction he is kinda leading me into is to withdraw from the music min for a while.
Maybe. i don't really know yet.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
"In Him I will put my trust"
Really lazy to copy and paste the entire thing... Pls refer to my blog for the fortnight post
http://yqcabizpark.blogspot.com
Thanks,
Yong Quan
http://yqcabizpark.blogspot.com
Thanks,
Yong Quan
Thursday, May 1, 2008
exams over
hey guys,
yes, i'm the bad example that no one should follow coz i have not been blogging at all since err, i don't even dare to go back to check. haha. i'm very sorry. i had a crazy workload this semester and it was a lot of book reading, essay writing, tests, essay(S) re-writing (this was the ultimate horror) and then the rush to exams. i finished my last paper yesterday so yay! rejoice with me. haha.
yeah, because of my own mad school life, i haven't been focusing my energies and mind on youth music. that's my error/sin. tianyi suggested that we have a meeting next sun, 11 may so yeah, i'll send out agenda soon but it's mainly to catch up and pray coz there're so many things we need to commit to God together. the bassist crisis has been a real downer for me. i'll share more when i see everyone and hmm, i'm quite happy that now that the hols are here, i'll be able to focus my energies and time properly. i'll most probably ask u guys out for tea or something so pls don't break my heart and refuse me!!!! haha.
i concur with pastor completely about not being complacent coz for a while, i think i was praying about that too. i say i think coz i have zero memory now :P and yeah, i've been sorta asking God, how come there doesn't seem to be fruit in the ministry, particularly the ymm. like the musicians who serve. i pray for them that even if when they started playing, they didn't have a relationship with God then somehow through service, that relationship will start and somehow, it doesn't seem so. if anyone wants to disagree about this, please do. and then i struggle a lot with what 'kind' of people should be allowed to serve. i'm rambling and my grammar and syntax is all over the place. gahsh. ok la. i'll try to share my heart succinctly when we have the meeting.
but let's really persevere in praying for the ministry.
yes, i'm the bad example that no one should follow coz i have not been blogging at all since err, i don't even dare to go back to check. haha. i'm very sorry. i had a crazy workload this semester and it was a lot of book reading, essay writing, tests, essay(S) re-writing (this was the ultimate horror) and then the rush to exams. i finished my last paper yesterday so yay! rejoice with me. haha.
yeah, because of my own mad school life, i haven't been focusing my energies and mind on youth music. that's my error/sin. tianyi suggested that we have a meeting next sun, 11 may so yeah, i'll send out agenda soon but it's mainly to catch up and pray coz there're so many things we need to commit to God together. the bassist crisis has been a real downer for me. i'll share more when i see everyone and hmm, i'm quite happy that now that the hols are here, i'll be able to focus my energies and time properly. i'll most probably ask u guys out for tea or something so pls don't break my heart and refuse me!!!! haha.
i concur with pastor completely about not being complacent coz for a while, i think i was praying about that too. i say i think coz i have zero memory now :P and yeah, i've been sorta asking God, how come there doesn't seem to be fruit in the ministry, particularly the ymm. like the musicians who serve. i pray for them that even if when they started playing, they didn't have a relationship with God then somehow through service, that relationship will start and somehow, it doesn't seem so. if anyone wants to disagree about this, please do. and then i struggle a lot with what 'kind' of people should be allowed to serve. i'm rambling and my grammar and syntax is all over the place. gahsh. ok la. i'll try to share my heart succinctly when we have the meeting.
but let's really persevere in praying for the ministry.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
You hold my future in Your hands
Honestly speaking... I keep missing the deadline for the posting... Here is my post now!
Anyway, two weeks ago, after youth service... I was listening to this song "I Need You" (posted below) and suddenly one of my schoolmates came into my mind. He is those kind of person which emmits a "go-away-or-regret-it" aura. He is pretty antisocial with his face stuck into a frown... I don't know what was happening but suddenly I had the urge to talk to him... although a big part of me did not want to... The thought just got thrown out of my mind and I continued on with life...
A few days later, another song struck me (also posted below) and I saw him again in my mind... [Request] Pls pray for me about this matter, 'cos it could be that God wants me to talk to him.
I don't know what's with me and songs but YET another one hit me just last Friday... Here are the lyrics
Saving Grace
I'm holding on to you
I'm never letting go
'Cause You have saved my soul
And You have made me whole
You took my brokeness
And filled me with Your joy
All I long to do is worship
All I long to do is bring You praise
For nothing compares to You
My Saving Grace
Jesus Saviour
My life belongs to You forever
'Cause You have set my heart on fire
And You have set me free
I just got struck in the face and got some cool resolution which I (quite stupidly, thinking about it later) shared in class the following day. My resolution? "To save my entire class" It was like one of the many desires in my heart... But after saying that, I felt rather stupid and lame as a thought came into my mind "Why don't you put your actions to where your heart is? Studies are more important! Why care about it?" (Summarised thoughts)
Spiritually dry now... But I believe that God is going to do something mighty in my school... He planted me there for a reason... since I tried getting out of my school last year and I FAILED!!!
Yeah... That is about all I got to share for today... Cheerio!
In God's mercy,
Yong Quan
P.S Songs are in my listening order...
Anyway, two weeks ago, after youth service... I was listening to this song "I Need You" (posted below) and suddenly one of my schoolmates came into my mind. He is those kind of person which emmits a "go-away-or-regret-it" aura. He is pretty antisocial with his face stuck into a frown... I don't know what was happening but suddenly I had the urge to talk to him... although a big part of me did not want to... The thought just got thrown out of my mind and I continued on with life...
A few days later, another song struck me (also posted below) and I saw him again in my mind... [Request] Pls pray for me about this matter, 'cos it could be that God wants me to talk to him.
I don't know what's with me and songs but YET another one hit me just last Friday... Here are the lyrics
Saving Grace
I'm holding on to you
I'm never letting go
'Cause You have saved my soul
And You have made me whole
You took my brokeness
And filled me with Your joy
All I long to do is worship
All I long to do is bring You praise
For nothing compares to You
My Saving Grace
Jesus Saviour
My life belongs to You forever
'Cause You have set my heart on fire
And You have set me free
I just got struck in the face and got some cool resolution which I (quite stupidly, thinking about it later) shared in class the following day. My resolution? "To save my entire class" It was like one of the many desires in my heart... But after saying that, I felt rather stupid and lame as a thought came into my mind "Why don't you put your actions to where your heart is? Studies are more important! Why care about it?" (Summarised thoughts)
Spiritually dry now... But I believe that God is going to do something mighty in my school... He planted me there for a reason... since I tried getting out of my school last year and I FAILED!!!
Yeah... That is about all I got to share for today... Cheerio!
In God's mercy,
Yong Quan
P.S Songs are in my listening order...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
somehow. beautiful savior started playing on my itunes.
then i felt peaceful. and i sat there at my com just singing and worshipping God through all the music and stuff.
really awesome.
Nothing really to share. but then again... somehow i feel really close to God on Sunday afternoons. when everything seems so dreary.
EDIT/6.50PM
i dont know this is so awesome... as i was listening to the song 'devotion'
i felt this wave of 'thing' just impact on my face... then i just broke down. for like. 3 mins.
For no absolute reason.
once again, God showing his greatness during pre monday blues.
legendary
then i felt peaceful. and i sat there at my com just singing and worshipping God through all the music and stuff.
really awesome.
Nothing really to share. but then again... somehow i feel really close to God on Sunday afternoons. when everything seems so dreary.
EDIT/6.50PM
i dont know this is so awesome... as i was listening to the song 'devotion'
i felt this wave of 'thing' just impact on my face... then i just broke down. for like. 3 mins.
For no absolute reason.
once again, God showing his greatness during pre monday blues.
legendary
Thursday, April 10, 2008
was reading shumms post... and i thought may as well write this down before it escapes my mind
this happened last sunday on 5th april
So... as usual i was feeling all gloomy and sad la. pre monday blues.
Then i dunno why but i just picked up the book Joel lent me 'God Chasers' i think the title was.
So.. yeah after i read the book. i started crying for like no apparent reason?
uhh i lazy to write the whole experience again so can go to my blog... its
http://watchthis-space.livejournal.com
yups.
and i believe it was like.... so cool that Pastor A was also talking about like not being complacent a few weeks ago... and not to stop at this 'start of the revival' stage.
cuz like in chapt 3 of the book. they were talking about how it always feels good at the start (At Youth Camp 2007)
And then later on it gets boring (Now)
so like... i mean just strive on lah.. theres no point stopping now since we've worked so hard just to get this thing started.
oh yes and before i forget... it also talks about having the hunger and thirst for God. which somehow also kinda linked to the bible verse i was sharing during devotion...so.. yah la quite cool.
i guess that our Youth's Hunger for God hasn't really reached that stage of impact yet....
so... dunno.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D: D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D (((:
this happened last sunday on 5th april
So... as usual i was feeling all gloomy and sad la. pre monday blues.
Then i dunno why but i just picked up the book Joel lent me 'God Chasers' i think the title was.
So.. yeah after i read the book. i started crying for like no apparent reason?
uhh i lazy to write the whole experience again so can go to my blog... its
http://watchthis-space.livejournal.com
yups.
and i believe it was like.... so cool that Pastor A was also talking about like not being complacent a few weeks ago... and not to stop at this 'start of the revival' stage.
cuz like in chapt 3 of the book. they were talking about how it always feels good at the start (At Youth Camp 2007)
And then later on it gets boring (Now)
so like... i mean just strive on lah.. theres no point stopping now since we've worked so hard just to get this thing started.
oh yes and before i forget... it also talks about having the hunger and thirst for God. which somehow also kinda linked to the bible verse i was sharing during devotion...so.. yah la quite cool.
i guess that our Youth's Hunger for God hasn't really reached that stage of impact yet....
so... dunno.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D: D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D (((:
"i have nothing to give"
hello!! haha so sorry i've not blogged here in a really long time.
been quite busy with school and all, and spiritually okay i guess. i think one thing that is bad about being busy is that all the days seem to blur into one, and right now i'm finding it hard to remember what significant events have happened to me in the last month.
but here's a short sharing from my QT last night :)
i guess all of us are probably going through a busybusy patch now, so i think we really need to pray more that as a music comm, we'll continue to be good spiritual examples for others. and perhaps a fresh touch from God? i dunno for me sometimes serving becomes very routine, just another saturday in church, so yeah that's not good i think.
haha okay enough rambling off to mug goodnight people! TAKE CARE :D
been quite busy with school and all, and spiritually okay i guess. i think one thing that is bad about being busy is that all the days seem to blur into one, and right now i'm finding it hard to remember what significant events have happened to me in the last month.
but here's a short sharing from my QT last night :)
“5Then he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, 6because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’my QT reading for the last couple of days have been about intercession, and the need to pray fervently, but i’ve been struggling to really understand and apply this truth to my life. and so last night when i read that i could finally identify with the motivation for intercession, especially after my faltering attempts to start caring more for my CG members. and beyond increasing our motivation to pray, i think a sense of inadequacy is also useful because it helps to keep us humble, which i find difficult sometimes. so yeah that was a pretty timely lesson for me :)
7“Then the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ 8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness[a] he will get up and give him as much as he needs. ” (Luke 11: 5-8)
“I have nothing for him to eat”. As we are aware of our inadequacies, intercession becomes the only hope and refuge. I may have knowledge, a loving heart, and be ready to give myself for those under my charge, but I cannot give them the bread of heaven. With all my love and zeal, still “I have nothing to set before him” (Luke 11:6, KJV).
i guess all of us are probably going through a busybusy patch now, so i think we really need to pray more that as a music comm, we'll continue to be good spiritual examples for others. and perhaps a fresh touch from God? i dunno for me sometimes serving becomes very routine, just another saturday in church, so yeah that's not good i think.
haha okay enough rambling off to mug goodnight people! TAKE CARE :D
Saturday, March 29, 2008
29th March YM Service
Whoa... that is a long title... Anyway... Today's service really touched me, esp. during the worship...
About my past week... My school lost in the debate competition, my test are totally cashed and my blood pressure during the past week has enough power to drive a car from Singapore to KL... without any fuel, just raw power. My spiritual walk was also rather low, I just could not see God anywhere in my past week... I'm so not myself the past week...
In God's grace,
Yong Quan
About my past week... My school lost in the debate competition, my test are totally cashed and my blood pressure during the past week has enough power to drive a car from Singapore to KL... without any fuel, just raw power. My spiritual walk was also rather low, I just could not see God anywhere in my past week... I'm so not myself the past week...
In God's grace,
Yong Quan
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
(no title)
I just realised that Planetshakers banned most of their videos on Youtube... Anyway...
This song hit me straight in the face, esp. the bridge. I dunno... it triggers me that God really loves us and that God can do everything! He can even change our lives with a drastic turn!
Anyway... the past 2 weeks was rather hectic. In the last week of school my class got a pop quiz for Chinese... a very nice "end-of-term" gift... and I was very discouraged by my debate competition on the 7th where my team lost by half-a-mark to Orchid Park Sec... God was very real to me the past week... I'm not sure how to explain it...
That's mainly it... See ya soon.
In God's grace,
Yong Quan
Friday, March 14, 2008
k... needed to post again.
And i must say that...well it's been rather ok for the past few weeks i guess
nothing really bad or good has happened.
I guess i still need abit more of God in my life these days, with all the school stress and stuff.
other than that...my studies got a little better i guess
so yup.. not too bad
And i must say that...well it's been rather ok for the past few weeks i guess
nothing really bad or good has happened.
I guess i still need abit more of God in my life these days, with all the school stress and stuff.
other than that...my studies got a little better i guess
so yup.. not too bad
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Doing Fine
It's been a while since I've blogged. Have been rather bogged down with work, worship pracs (put in quite some effort for the Tony Anthony and BB services) and other stuff the past 2 week. When I do get sometime on my hands I'm usually too tired to do much - to the extent that today was the first time I went to the gym in 3 weeks. So when it comes to blogging the inertia is even more superb as you can probably deduce by the un-updated Youth blog.
But yep, despite the tiredness things have been going swell with God. Think the main thing that has encouraged and at the same time discouraged me is inviting the Teban youth for Youth. After some events that happened this year that high-lighted the fragility of life, I opine that I now feel more burdened to evangelize to the people around me than ever before.
Anyway, back to the Teban youths. Don't think I have been so direct and persistent in asking people to come down to church. I felt that I had to be politically correct and there was some unknown fear that hindered me from asking people come down. So when the Tony Anthony service was approaching I was starting to feel a little uneasy about asking the Teban youths. Would they dislike me if I asked them to go down to church? Would they reject me? (Ok, I know that by saying,"No" they aren't rejecting me but God but back then I didn't really like receiving negative replies)
But then I knew that there was Youth CG the coming Saturday and one of the discussion pointers sent in the e-mail was to ask the CG who they would be inviting. I thought to myself,"How can I ask my CG members to invite their friends if I myself don't lead by example?". This compounded with the whole "fragility of life" thing made me want to step out in faith and just ask.
Ok, it's getting late and I need to be at Teban at 7.30am so I shall summarize:
- I wanted to invite the Teban Youths personally
- I had a fever and was dying so I wrote notes to them
- They did not respond but I used that note as a talking pointing
- Other youths who did not get the note were curious why they didn't get it
- My courage began to grow and I asked them boldly
- I was surprised that they were very receptive
- A number said they would come but remained uncontactable
- 3 came (encouraged) the rest pang-seh (slightly discouraged)
- I don't find asking people down to church or talking about God as intimidating once I've tried
- I thank God that He placed me in TG and I believe He has used these Youths to teach me that inviting people to church and sharing your faith isn't that tough
- I'm now more burdened for my own personal friends
- I need to find time to pray, rebuild bridges, share God with these people
Cya @ Teban Kids Games tomorrow blokes...
But yep, despite the tiredness things have been going swell with God. Think the main thing that has encouraged and at the same time discouraged me is inviting the Teban youth for Youth. After some events that happened this year that high-lighted the fragility of life, I opine that I now feel more burdened to evangelize to the people around me than ever before.
Anyway, back to the Teban youths. Don't think I have been so direct and persistent in asking people to come down to church. I felt that I had to be politically correct and there was some unknown fear that hindered me from asking people come down. So when the Tony Anthony service was approaching I was starting to feel a little uneasy about asking the Teban youths. Would they dislike me if I asked them to go down to church? Would they reject me? (Ok, I know that by saying,"No" they aren't rejecting me but God but back then I didn't really like receiving negative replies)
But then I knew that there was Youth CG the coming Saturday and one of the discussion pointers sent in the e-mail was to ask the CG who they would be inviting. I thought to myself,"How can I ask my CG members to invite their friends if I myself don't lead by example?". This compounded with the whole "fragility of life" thing made me want to step out in faith and just ask.
Ok, it's getting late and I need to be at Teban at 7.30am so I shall summarize:
- I wanted to invite the Teban Youths personally
- I had a fever and was dying so I wrote notes to them
- They did not respond but I used that note as a talking pointing
- Other youths who did not get the note were curious why they didn't get it
- My courage began to grow and I asked them boldly
- I was surprised that they were very receptive
- A number said they would come but remained uncontactable
- 3 came (encouraged) the rest pang-seh (slightly discouraged)
- I don't find asking people down to church or talking about God as intimidating once I've tried
- I thank God that He placed me in TG and I believe He has used these Youths to teach me that inviting people to church and sharing your faith isn't that tough
- I'm now more burdened for my own personal friends
- I need to find time to pray, rebuild bridges, share God with these people
Cya @ Teban Kids Games tomorrow blokes...
Friday, February 29, 2008
passion and purity
i have to say that i'm quite impressed that people remembered to post without me having to send a fierce email or whatever. definitely a refreshing change. haha.
but anyway, i'll just share something from my qt 2 days. i'm reading from that lent booklet thing we were given. i'm quite a few days behind the actual schedule but i don't think it really matters but anyway, the one i'll be sharing from is dated 22 feb. it's from exodus 16:9-21 (ESV).
9Then Moses said to Aaron, "Say to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, 'Come near before the LORD, for he has heard your grumbling.'" 10And as soon as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, they looked toward the wilderness, and behold, the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud.
the thing that really touched my heart is that God is not slow to answer and it's incredible how even when we grumble, when others would draw away from us coz we're being so bad mood or whatever, God calls us to draw near to Him. even when we're grumbling against God, He calls us to draw near to Him.
11And the LORD said to Moses, 12"Ihave heard the grumbling of the people of Israel. Say to them, 'At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall be filled with bread. Then you shall know that I am the LORD your God.'"
and it's not just that the disobedience is manifest but it can also contaminate others around us. which is why it's so important for us, particularly those who serve in the ymm that we keep allowing God to search us and purify us and when we disobey , to quickly repent and return to God because it will affect our service. refer to Joshua 7 for Achan's sin and how that of 1 man's could affect the entire army of Israel and God's favour.
so the most important thing is that we must keep ourselves holy and humble, quick to respond to God's commands and to have soft hearts.
but anyway, i'll just share something from my qt 2 days. i'm reading from that lent booklet thing we were given. i'm quite a few days behind the actual schedule but i don't think it really matters but anyway, the one i'll be sharing from is dated 22 feb. it's from exodus 16:9-21 (ESV).
9Then Moses said to Aaron, "Say to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, 'Come near before the LORD, for he has heard your grumbling.'" 10And as soon as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, they looked toward the wilderness, and behold, the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud.
the thing that really touched my heart is that God is not slow to answer and it's incredible how even when we grumble, when others would draw away from us coz we're being so bad mood or whatever, God calls us to draw near to Him. even when we're grumbling against God, He calls us to draw near to Him.
11And the LORD said to Moses, 12"Ihave heard the grumbling of the people of Israel. Say to them, 'At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall be filled with bread. Then you shall know that I am the LORD your God.'"
13In the evening quail came up and covered the camp, and in the morning dew lay around the camp.
and then He provides in abundance.
14And when the dew had gone up, there was on the face of the wilderness a fine, flake-like thing, fine as frost on the ground.
His provision is obvious. there's no need to search high or low for it. it's right in front of us. it's whether we recognise the provision or if we need, like the Israelites, Moses to point out God's provision for their physical hunger.
15When the people of Israel saw it, they said to one another, "What is it?" For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, "It is the bread that the LORD has given you to eat.
we need to be spiritually sensitive to His provision and blessings, to recognise them as God-given.
16This is what the LORD has commanded: 'Gather of it, each one of you, as much as he can eat. You shall each take an omer, according to the number of the persons that each of you has in his tent.'" 17And the people of Israel did so. They gathered, some more, some less. 18But when they measured it with an omer,whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack. Each of them gathered as much as he could eat.
i think this bit is about how God is one of justice and fairness. maybe it links also to how He does not give us more than we can bear in terms of trials and such.
19And Moses said to them, "Let no one leave any of it over till the morning." 20But they did not listen to Moses. Some left part of it till the morning, and it bred worms and stank. And Moses was angry with them. 21Morning by morning they gathered it, each as much as he could eat; but when the sun grew hot, it melted.
i think this is the warning bit in the passage for me because it essentially speaks of disobedience, that regarding God's commands and a refusal to heed the words of a God-appointed leader. the manna bred worms and stank speaks about how when we disobey, it will be evident. maybe not immediately coz we can lead double lives or whatever but ultimately, it will show. why? because no fruits will be borne *(John 15:5-6, NIV).
and it's not just that the disobedience is manifest but it can also contaminate others around us. which is why it's so important for us, particularly those who serve in the ymm that we keep allowing God to search us and purify us and when we disobey , to quickly repent and return to God because it will affect our service. refer to Joshua 7 for Achan's sin and how that of 1 man's could affect the entire army of Israel and God's favour.
so the most important thing is that we must keep ourselves holy and humble, quick to respond to God's commands and to have soft hearts.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
the time has come
The time has come
To stand for all we believe in
So I for one am gonna give my praise to You
Jesus!
this post isn't going to be very lucid because this is all off-the-cuff, but here goes.
last couple of weeks were quite dry for me spiritually, but i thank God for speaking to me more clearly on saturday :) was really ministered to during the worship, and God showed me the "state of my heart". 1) that i've become too proud to WORK at my spiritual life, i.e. being satisfied with mediocre QT and sloppy prayers. 2) that i've been content with living on past mercies, or thoughts of how God was real to me in the past. so i was greatly challenged to seek God for a new revelation every single day, and not just be satisfied with the past. as it goes in lamentations 3, "His mercies are new every morning." i won't say that i'm completely out of the woods yet, but i thank God for refreshing me last saturday :)
i've been pretty stressed recently because had a lot of deadlines and stuff, so i've been having weird stomach aches (can pray for that). quite nervous about the 1march worship because prep has been so intense, and i'm just afraid that we'll end up too focussed on the technical details and not enough on God. so yeah i'm reminding myself that this is not cast in stone, God can still rearrange my set/do something else, so praying for spiritual sensitivity.
just like tian yi, i've also been having problems inviting friends for this saturday. was reminded during the message last saturday not to treat my non-Christian friends as simply a pool of people from which i pick a few to come for evangelistic events to make myself feel good, but really, i need to start making an effort to build a friendship with them. so far those i've invited have been quite non-commital about it, so i'm a little disappointed, but yeah still praying hard for them.
other than that, it is my holidays this week! hahaha so i'm pretty happy about that :D okay that's all ciao! :)
To stand for all we believe in
So I for one am gonna give my praise to You
Jesus!
this post isn't going to be very lucid because this is all off-the-cuff, but here goes.
last couple of weeks were quite dry for me spiritually, but i thank God for speaking to me more clearly on saturday :) was really ministered to during the worship, and God showed me the "state of my heart". 1) that i've become too proud to WORK at my spiritual life, i.e. being satisfied with mediocre QT and sloppy prayers. 2) that i've been content with living on past mercies, or thoughts of how God was real to me in the past. so i was greatly challenged to seek God for a new revelation every single day, and not just be satisfied with the past. as it goes in lamentations 3, "His mercies are new every morning." i won't say that i'm completely out of the woods yet, but i thank God for refreshing me last saturday :)
i've been pretty stressed recently because had a lot of deadlines and stuff, so i've been having weird stomach aches (can pray for that). quite nervous about the 1march worship because prep has been so intense, and i'm just afraid that we'll end up too focussed on the technical details and not enough on God. so yeah i'm reminding myself that this is not cast in stone, God can still rearrange my set/do something else, so praying for spiritual sensitivity.
just like tian yi, i've also been having problems inviting friends for this saturday. was reminded during the message last saturday not to treat my non-Christian friends as simply a pool of people from which i pick a few to come for evangelistic events to make myself feel good, but really, i need to start making an effort to build a friendship with them. so far those i've invited have been quite non-commital about it, so i'm a little disappointed, but yeah still praying hard for them.
other than that, it is my holidays this week! hahaha so i'm pretty happy about that :D okay that's all ciao! :)
Monday, February 25, 2008
sigh ok. i think i'll just share whatever i have on my mind la.
first off, was saturday...
i don't know why. but then halfway through the worship i was like. shucks la i dont really feel like i have the heart to drum anymore.
NOT that i'm indecisive in the place where i am serving now. but i just felt this feeling like i just needed to be alone and just not do anything at all.....
so yeah , i was actually hoping that the speaker wont ask the musicians to go up and play response song...cuz i really felt very displaced and frayed.
Like the passion for God inside of me was just extinguished.
And like whatever was going on inside of me was like. xian.....
But yeah im ok now i guess,after talking to some people, getting encouraged and all that.
another thing im really having trouble with is asking people to go for the tony anthony thing
I mean, its like in acs people don't really give a damn about what real christianity is lah.
To say the truth. acsI is just a neighbourhood school with lots of money.
so yeah...need a little help on that part. prayer will help alot.
and one more thing i just learnt today during my quiet time. is not to judge people.
quite cliche lah but i was actually feeling damn pissed like 1 hour ago.
so yeah im ok now lah.oh gosh my itunes is like playing all the fast songs now.... sigh
ok yeah thats all i have no lah i guess and i got 3 exams(hopefully 2) tomorrow. so yeah pray for me please if you read this by today or something(:
first off, was saturday...
i don't know why. but then halfway through the worship i was like. shucks la i dont really feel like i have the heart to drum anymore.
NOT that i'm indecisive in the place where i am serving now. but i just felt this feeling like i just needed to be alone and just not do anything at all.....
so yeah , i was actually hoping that the speaker wont ask the musicians to go up and play response song...cuz i really felt very displaced and frayed.
Like the passion for God inside of me was just extinguished.
And like whatever was going on inside of me was like. xian.....
But yeah im ok now i guess,after talking to some people, getting encouraged and all that.
another thing im really having trouble with is asking people to go for the tony anthony thing
I mean, its like in acs people don't really give a damn about what real christianity is lah.
To say the truth. acsI is just a neighbourhood school with lots of money.
so yeah...need a little help on that part. prayer will help alot.
and one more thing i just learnt today during my quiet time. is not to judge people.
quite cliche lah but i was actually feeling damn pissed like 1 hour ago.
so yeah im ok now lah.oh gosh my itunes is like playing all the fast songs now.... sigh
ok yeah thats all i have no lah i guess and i got 3 exams(hopefully 2) tomorrow. so yeah pray for me please if you read this by today or something(:
Sunday, February 24, 2008
A Pure Heart
Hi guys!
I finally remembered to post this time... Anyway...
Quite recently, my dad bought a magazine from the "Rock" Bookstore (@Suntec) and I was flipping through it the last week. This magazine is actually the NC (new century) version of the New Testament! What makes it even better is that it has slips of notes here and there for verse applications! This note struck me (kind of)... Here it goes.
Mark 7:20-22
In a nutshell, the notes reads that during Jesus' time, the spiritual leaders were concerned about outward stuff, such as sitting away from the unclean people while eating, do not eat with unclean hands etc. and they (spiritual leaders... I suppose its the Pharisees) get very jumpy when people does something wrong outwardly. Jesus mentioned the verse from Isaiah 29:13 to tell the Pharisees off. Actually, come to think about it, the only time when Jesus gets "rude" is when he talks to the Pharisees. (Cannot remember where but Jesus called them "a brood of vipers" once.)
In verse 20, Jesus mentioned that what comes out from within determines if a person is clean or unclean. Going on to verse 21-22, Jesus gives some examples about unclean things from within (Greed, murder, adultery etc.)
Personally, I think that these verses talks about how we need to have a pure heart. God forgives sins... almost every sin except denying that Jesus is our personal Lord and Saviour. A pure heart (to my opinion) is that you do not fill it with sinful thoughts, instead fill it with God's word.
I admit I don't have a pure heart... Most of the time the devil plants thoughts into my head and I entertain them. You know sometimes when you sin, you want to hide from God? I know I do. Sometimes when I know that I am sinning, but yet I let the devil coax me into doing it. After that, I am usually filled with guilt and I always run from God, thinking that He will be pissed with me and yell the crap out of me. But that is not what God is like. When we sin, we should RUN TO HIM INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM!!! When we run to God and tell him about it, He will help us out. Still, sometimes it is difficult, esp. when the devil planted the seed of that particular sin in your head and it grew into a sucking tree already.
I think the best way to conquer the devil is to pray and keep seeking God whenever the devil tries to plant the seed of sin in your head.
That is all I gotta say so far...
In God's grace,
Yong Quan
I finally remembered to post this time... Anyway...
Quite recently, my dad bought a magazine from the "Rock" Bookstore (@Suntec) and I was flipping through it the last week. This magazine is actually the NC (new century) version of the New Testament! What makes it even better is that it has slips of notes here and there for verse applications! This note struck me (kind of)... Here it goes.
Mark 7:20-22
In a nutshell, the notes reads that during Jesus' time, the spiritual leaders were concerned about outward stuff, such as sitting away from the unclean people while eating, do not eat with unclean hands etc. and they (spiritual leaders... I suppose its the Pharisees) get very jumpy when people does something wrong outwardly. Jesus mentioned the verse from Isaiah 29:13 to tell the Pharisees off. Actually, come to think about it, the only time when Jesus gets "rude" is when he talks to the Pharisees. (Cannot remember where but Jesus called them "a brood of vipers" once.)
In verse 20, Jesus mentioned that what comes out from within determines if a person is clean or unclean. Going on to verse 21-22, Jesus gives some examples about unclean things from within (Greed, murder, adultery etc.)
Personally, I think that these verses talks about how we need to have a pure heart. God forgives sins... almost every sin except denying that Jesus is our personal Lord and Saviour. A pure heart (to my opinion) is that you do not fill it with sinful thoughts, instead fill it with God's word.
I admit I don't have a pure heart... Most of the time the devil plants thoughts into my head and I entertain them. You know sometimes when you sin, you want to hide from God? I know I do. Sometimes when I know that I am sinning, but yet I let the devil coax me into doing it. After that, I am usually filled with guilt and I always run from God, thinking that He will be pissed with me and yell the crap out of me. But that is not what God is like. When we sin, we should RUN TO HIM INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM!!! When we run to God and tell him about it, He will help us out. Still, sometimes it is difficult, esp. when the devil planted the seed of that particular sin in your head and it grew into a sucking tree already.
I think the best way to conquer the devil is to pray and keep seeking God whenever the devil tries to plant the seed of sin in your head.
That is all I gotta say so far...
In God's grace,
Yong Quan
Saturday, February 23, 2008
pressing in
hey guys,
today's worship was quite a reminder for me in that like what pastor said, the call of God these few weeks have been to enter into His presence and ya, let's rem to pray for our ministry regarding this. pray by name if possible and yeah, for yourself too.
hmm. i think i had more to say but i can't rem now. haha. shumay is leading worship for the tony anthony service so let's pray for her too.
today's worship was quite a reminder for me in that like what pastor said, the call of God these few weeks have been to enter into His presence and ya, let's rem to pray for our ministry regarding this. pray by name if possible and yeah, for yourself too.
hmm. i think i had more to say but i can't rem now. haha. shumay is leading worship for the tony anthony service so let's pray for her too.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
encourage
hey guys,
hmmm. it sounds like we're all mainly going through a dry spot right now and well, sometimes i feel very burdened as a leader that i must encourage those who serve with me and build them up and stuff and i'm really thankful that today, i actually have something to say that's constructive and not meandering and all.
as those who went to church last sun should know, we all got this devotional book for lent and usually, i don't keep to these things coz i have my own way of doing devotion but coz the book looks so nice, i decided i will try to use it. it's think enough to leave in your bag and read on the bus and stuff. so anyway, i accidentally read the devotion for the second day yesterday but it really encouraged me and gave me hope coz it was mainly about God's compassion and somehow, i sensed that i should read lamentations and so i did and here's the part that i pray will lift your spirits too:
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
by the Lord forever.
and let us return to the LORD.
hmmm. it sounds like we're all mainly going through a dry spot right now and well, sometimes i feel very burdened as a leader that i must encourage those who serve with me and build them up and stuff and i'm really thankful that today, i actually have something to say that's constructive and not meandering and all.
as those who went to church last sun should know, we all got this devotional book for lent and usually, i don't keep to these things coz i have my own way of doing devotion but coz the book looks so nice, i decided i will try to use it. it's think enough to leave in your bag and read on the bus and stuff. so anyway, i accidentally read the devotion for the second day yesterday but it really encouraged me and gave me hope coz it was mainly about God's compassion and somehow, i sensed that i should read lamentations and so i did and here's the part that i pray will lift your spirits too:
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.
and let us return to the LORD.
41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
to God in heaven, and say:
42 "We have sinned and rebelled
and you have not forgiven.
43 "You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
you have slain without pity.
44 You have covered yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can get through.
55 I called on your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit.
56 You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears
to my cry for relief."
57 You came near when I called you,
and you said, "Do not fear."
just take some time to ponder this passage and ya, claim His promise that His compassion NEVER fails and His mercies are new every morning. that's what i wanna cling to.
ok. i can't rem the other thing i wanted to say. haha :PSunday, February 10, 2008
clean
hello everyone! sigh i've really been tardy about updating here. no excuses, but spiritually i've been quite sian so haven't really had any Great Insights to share.
anyway, i guess yesterday's youth worship was quite good for me. during prac i was quite annoyed at myself because i was so pitchy (being distracted and all), and so when worship started proper i just prayed that i'd be able to worship, and not just to sing. because sometimes i find myself thinking, okay i need to remember how to harmonise here etcetc till i forget that i'm not performing, i'm supposed to be worshipping God. and yesterday what we learnt at band meeting, to worship "in spirit and in truth" was running through my head too, so that was a good reminder to constantly check whether i was truly worshipping God.
i also learnt a lot from sharon's message yesterday. the thing that stuck with me is the question, "If you didn't have your voice, would you still be able to worship God?" i really identified with her situation then, because my voice is really important to me, and singing is one of my main ways of connecting with God. even now when i'm having a slight sore throat and can't really sing properly i feel sad. so i can't imagine losing my voice and being unable to "worship" God. i'm still thinking about that question, and praying that God will one day teach me how to worship Him despite everything, and even through my "least preferred" way.
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
next week will be really busy for me, with many deadlines and appointments to keep, so you all could just pray for strength, and for discipline to study. on a side note, as part of my involvement with Campus Crusade for Christ, i'll be going around school distributing an evangelistic newsletter so that's going to be exciting! really praying that i can reach out more in NUS, because so far i've not been doing much i think. also hoping that i can invite some of my friends to various evangelistic events that are coming up, so yeah pray for boldness too (because i usually don't ask due to my fear of rejection.)
yup i guess that's all. have a good week peoplezz :)
anyway, i guess yesterday's youth worship was quite good for me. during prac i was quite annoyed at myself because i was so pitchy (being distracted and all), and so when worship started proper i just prayed that i'd be able to worship, and not just to sing. because sometimes i find myself thinking, okay i need to remember how to harmonise here etcetc till i forget that i'm not performing, i'm supposed to be worshipping God. and yesterday what we learnt at band meeting, to worship "in spirit and in truth" was running through my head too, so that was a good reminder to constantly check whether i was truly worshipping God.
i also learnt a lot from sharon's message yesterday. the thing that stuck with me is the question, "If you didn't have your voice, would you still be able to worship God?" i really identified with her situation then, because my voice is really important to me, and singing is one of my main ways of connecting with God. even now when i'm having a slight sore throat and can't really sing properly i feel sad. so i can't imagine losing my voice and being unable to "worship" God. i'm still thinking about that question, and praying that God will one day teach me how to worship Him despite everything, and even through my "least preferred" way.
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
next week will be really busy for me, with many deadlines and appointments to keep, so you all could just pray for strength, and for discipline to study. on a side note, as part of my involvement with Campus Crusade for Christ, i'll be going around school distributing an evangelistic newsletter so that's going to be exciting! really praying that i can reach out more in NUS, because so far i've not been doing much i think. also hoping that i can invite some of my friends to various evangelistic events that are coming up, so yeah pray for boldness too (because i usually don't ask due to my fear of rejection.)
yup i guess that's all. have a good week peoplezz :)
Friday, February 8, 2008
Desperate
Believe it not I've been busy too. Teban stuff and mostly preparing for this week's worship set; took real long to do the chords and practicing quite a bit cause there's no other e guitarist. Was also a bit disheartened by my first CG outing and class though and things were picking up after the Elder Shing's message.
However, with the worship prepartions, work and other worries somehow I don't feel that constant closeness with God which really isn't cool at all. One moment I feel close to Him whilst listening to songs and worshipping in my heart but then I don't feel the desire spend time looking into His word and praying. Don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling but yah, it's rather unsettling as I wonder whether I like worshipping cause of the music and the emo words instead of truely worshipping Him etc. Doesn't help that I'm worship leading and I don't like being a hypocrite urging others to worship passionately whilst I'm like bleh.
Think I really need to discipline myself to do QT and stuff (somehow Vincent's words of getting our fundementals right with God keep coming back to me). Strangely, when I read a christian book or set time aside to pray I do feel that closeness to God but it's always the starting that is hard for me. Would rather let my mind wonder to do other things and by then I would forget bout Him. Been trying to get up early to do QT but have failed miserably cause I usally wake up at around 11a.m despite my handphone alarms.
Not cool man =(, but yah, guess I should stop sulking and better get working on it! Hence when I saw Minwei's poem I felt inspired to sing it cause I think it's what I feel too...
In Your Freedom
Ok... I admit... I keep forgetting to post... Anyway...
About my spiritual walk, it is pretty low for quite a while... I guess it is my part... I'm not consistant about my QT... You know those days where you just finished knockout tuition and you lie down on your bed, exhausted. The next thing you know, the following morning has arrived. My exams are coming next week.. Pls pray for me... mainly for time management.
I put the video there because this song kinda spoke to me, esp. the chorus "I love you Lord, You rescued me"
That line really touched me and it reminded me about Jesus and His sacrifice for us...
See you all tommorow!
Yong Quan
Thursday, February 7, 2008
tardiness
hey guys,
firstly, i think i need to commend tianyi on being the most consistent person so far. the rest, shame on us :P sigh. but i've been so tired with school, completely bogged down with work. presentations every week till mid term then all the mid term tests then all the big essays then exam. woohoo. nothing to look forward to. this sem is really the maddest so far. i just wanna rant and complain and change modules and whatever but obviously i can't. but k. my spiritual walk, honestly, not great. actually, quite bad. i haven't had such a crappy walk since maybe j1? i don't know. hard to keep time when i'm already so advanced in years. haha. but anyway, i don't have much to share except this song/poem/prose that i wrote that pretty much sums up how i feel. i asked minjia to put a tune to it. she played a lot of stuff but i don't know if she managed it in the end. but well, if anyone comes up with something nice, let me know :P
desperate
lord i'm asking once again
i long to be in Your presence
in Your throne room, at Your feet
won't You open heaven's doors
and let me in
i'm dry from being far from You
i need Your touch again
Your power to fill me through and through
set me aflame by Your might
i'm desperate for You lord
to guide me out of this desert place
lead me to the Rock that is higher
i want to see Your face
look upon Your righteousness
touch Your nail pierced hands
see the Love who died for me
that i may understand
firstly, i think i need to commend tianyi on being the most consistent person so far. the rest, shame on us :P sigh. but i've been so tired with school, completely bogged down with work. presentations every week till mid term then all the mid term tests then all the big essays then exam. woohoo. nothing to look forward to. this sem is really the maddest so far. i just wanna rant and complain and change modules and whatever but obviously i can't. but k. my spiritual walk, honestly, not great. actually, quite bad. i haven't had such a crappy walk since maybe j1? i don't know. hard to keep time when i'm already so advanced in years. haha. but anyway, i don't have much to share except this song/poem/prose that i wrote that pretty much sums up how i feel. i asked minjia to put a tune to it. she played a lot of stuff but i don't know if she managed it in the end. but well, if anyone comes up with something nice, let me know :P
desperate
lord i'm asking once again
i long to be in Your presence
in Your throne room, at Your feet
won't You open heaven's doors
and let me in
i'm dry from being far from You
i need Your touch again
Your power to fill me through and through
set me aflame by Your might
i'm desperate for You lord
to guide me out of this desert place
lead me to the Rock that is higher
i want to see Your face
look upon Your righteousness
touch Your nail pierced hands
see the Love who died for me
that i may understand
Publicity Video Installation II
Hi all.
Here is the video as promised.
What is the other meaning for the song "Lead Me On"?
Yong Quan
P.S The MSN thing can be seen in full screen mode... Not too clear though.
P.P.S If the video above is unavaliable, then watch it from Youtube.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Lead Me On
Yeah... These songs are great... Planning to use one of them for the recruitment drive... Is it ok?
Yong Quan
Sunday, January 27, 2008
sooo as i said i would post today.
to say the least. my spiritual level now is like kinda lukewarm? like i dont think i've been spending alot of time with God/ doing QT...
and i still cant bring myself into doing homework or studying. even though thats beside the point.
but i mean.. ok as im writing this..these song's lyrics just happened to be sung at that point.
we are your people and we won't be silent.
so... what i got from that is that how can i tell people that im a christian. if my studies are so crappy. i mean its like... at the ignite conference. "im a christian. ask me why?"
people will be like... HUH TIANYI'S A CHRISTIAN???
and so yahh even thought applies to me alot i think this is one of the ways that we (or I) can improve on... in the way we live our lives sometimes..... wah quite cliche i think i heard something about living our lives propperly for God before somewhere.
to say the least. my spiritual level now is like kinda lukewarm? like i dont think i've been spending alot of time with God/ doing QT...
and i still cant bring myself into doing homework or studying. even though thats beside the point.
but i mean.. ok as im writing this..these song's lyrics just happened to be sung at that point.
we are your people and we won't be silent.
so... what i got from that is that how can i tell people that im a christian. if my studies are so crappy. i mean its like... at the ignite conference. "im a christian. ask me why?"
people will be like... HUH TIANYI'S A CHRISTIAN???
and so yahh even thought applies to me alot i think this is one of the ways that we (or I) can improve on... in the way we live our lives sometimes..... wah quite cliche i think i heard something about living our lives propperly for God before somewhere.
Friday, January 11, 2008
everything, in a nutshell
hello everyone!
i'm so sorry for my extreme tardiness this time, ack! not good, not good. anyway, part of the reason has been because i've been too busy catching up on sleep and also haven't really thought of anything much to share. but tonight i've finally decided to sit down and type this out so yeah :)
okay, i've not done my usual start-of-the-year journal entry but i have thought through what my resolutions for the year, and one of the biggest one is to spend everyday with Jesus. last year i've been pretty consistent in terms of QT but there have still been times when i was lazy and just didn't do QT, and one of the worst times was on my birthday! when i was so happy opening presents and reading cards that i slacked off and didn't read my Bible (ironically). so yeah, this year my resolution is to do QT everyday, and beyond that, spending time outside of QT thinking of God too. i find it quite a challenge, especially when school starts and my mind is mostly filled with thoughts of dieee haven't done my readings etc. haha.
another resolution that i have is to really study God's Word this year. i think i've reached a stage where i want to really equip myself with a thorough understanding of the Bible, and not just of the "easier", familiar passages in the New Testament. partly because i want to be better at defending my faith, but also because i want to know more about who God is. and this is the verse that spoke to me.
"4Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" (Matthew 4:4)
i don't know how i'm going to get the feeding that i need though. currently, i feel that i get the solid teaching of the Word most during messages, but it depends on the speaker too. but yeah i want so much more teaching, especially of the Old Testament. i guess for the year ahead i'm just going to be like the crowds in Jesus' time, who flocked wherever there was good teaching. thankfully, so far God has been good and has brought me to several CCC events where i really received good solid teaching of the Word. hopefully that will continue.
as for my spiritual life, i guess right now it has been okay. recently something happened that made me quite burdened, but thankfully, it has forced me to turn to God more in prayer and He has proved greater than all my troubles. it's really really comforting to know that God is there for me!
on a related note, i guess you all could pray for me because i'm also at a point where i'm seeking direction for my life. i've been serving in church for quite a while (since sec3 actually), but somehow over the last couple of months i've come to realise that that is not enough for me. i want to see God's higher calling for me. some have asked why the need to, but i dunno, for me i just want to start streamlining my ministry. e.g. if God calls me to be a pastor, right now i'll start looking for opportunities that will equip me with the skills needed for pastoring. i just want to stop serving haphazardly, and to start training myself properly.
however, this period is very challenging because i am being asked to serve in such-and-such areas and it's difficult to just say no let me wait on God first. it's taking a lot of faith to believe that God will speak in time for me not to annoy anyone with my tardy reply, and also to believe that God will eventually speak. another challenge i face is discerning between God's best and God's good. what if i don't like God's best for me? (i.e. it's not my first choice of service) what if i miss out on His best because i make a decision too hastily?
so yeah a lot of things for me to think about. haha. yup that's roughly all la, see you guys on saturday! :)
i'm so sorry for my extreme tardiness this time, ack! not good, not good. anyway, part of the reason has been because i've been too busy catching up on sleep and also haven't really thought of anything much to share. but tonight i've finally decided to sit down and type this out so yeah :)
okay, i've not done my usual start-of-the-year journal entry but i have thought through what my resolutions for the year, and one of the biggest one is to spend everyday with Jesus. last year i've been pretty consistent in terms of QT but there have still been times when i was lazy and just didn't do QT, and one of the worst times was on my birthday! when i was so happy opening presents and reading cards that i slacked off and didn't read my Bible (ironically). so yeah, this year my resolution is to do QT everyday, and beyond that, spending time outside of QT thinking of God too. i find it quite a challenge, especially when school starts and my mind is mostly filled with thoughts of dieee haven't done my readings etc. haha.
another resolution that i have is to really study God's Word this year. i think i've reached a stage where i want to really equip myself with a thorough understanding of the Bible, and not just of the "easier", familiar passages in the New Testament. partly because i want to be better at defending my faith, but also because i want to know more about who God is. and this is the verse that spoke to me.
"4Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" (Matthew 4:4)
i don't know how i'm going to get the feeding that i need though. currently, i feel that i get the solid teaching of the Word most during messages, but it depends on the speaker too. but yeah i want so much more teaching, especially of the Old Testament. i guess for the year ahead i'm just going to be like the crowds in Jesus' time, who flocked wherever there was good teaching. thankfully, so far God has been good and has brought me to several CCC events where i really received good solid teaching of the Word. hopefully that will continue.
as for my spiritual life, i guess right now it has been okay. recently something happened that made me quite burdened, but thankfully, it has forced me to turn to God more in prayer and He has proved greater than all my troubles. it's really really comforting to know that God is there for me!
on a related note, i guess you all could pray for me because i'm also at a point where i'm seeking direction for my life. i've been serving in church for quite a while (since sec3 actually), but somehow over the last couple of months i've come to realise that that is not enough for me. i want to see God's higher calling for me. some have asked why the need to, but i dunno, for me i just want to start streamlining my ministry. e.g. if God calls me to be a pastor, right now i'll start looking for opportunities that will equip me with the skills needed for pastoring. i just want to stop serving haphazardly, and to start training myself properly.
however, this period is very challenging because i am being asked to serve in such-and-such areas and it's difficult to just say no let me wait on God first. it's taking a lot of faith to believe that God will speak in time for me not to annoy anyone with my tardy reply, and also to believe that God will eventually speak. another challenge i face is discerning between God's best and God's good. what if i don't like God's best for me? (i.e. it's not my first choice of service) what if i miss out on His best because i make a decision too hastily?
so yeah a lot of things for me to think about. haha. yup that's roughly all la, see you guys on saturday! :)
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Foothold
"And do not give the devil a foothold" Ephesians 4:27
A new year... Another 51 weeks to go before the new year comes again... Anyway, I really want to thank God for my new class for the next two years! It is really awesome! I mean, seriously, God really answers our prayers pretty fast. During the prayer meeting on the 29th of Dec, '07, Ben, Reuben, Matthieu and myself are in one big prayer group, and when Ben was asking us to ask God what he wants from us in the new year (I think) this part of a song keeps playing on my mind, like some broken record.
The Bright and Morning Star
The Great I Am You are,
Jesus
Jesus
The King Above All Kings,
Creator of all things,
Jesus
Jesus
The song is titled "Jesus" from the Never Stop album. (I think it is in the Saviour of the World album too).
For today's sharing, I would like to share about the book I am reading again "Every Man, God's Man" (was mentioned in my earlier post). Now i want to share about Chapter 8, cos God spoke to me again. The chapter is entitled "Do not give the devil a foothold"
Anyway the chapter starts by talking about D-Day during WWII, it depicts the Allies (USA) trying to take the beach of Normandy which the Germans were trying their very best to hold it out. So it is like, when books describe scenes like that, naturally your mind would wander and try to picture the scene right? Anyway i see machine guns blazing and a lot of men falling. Yeah anyway... the book goes on to describe a period after D-Day started, that the US troops have finally secured one tiny ground on the Normandy beach. (Secured as in "with no bullets shot at them and a safe area to rest) From that tiny ground, the Allies took over the beach in a matter of hours.
My point is not to go fight a war for the fun of it, but my point is that this can be applied into our spiritual lives. For example... argh I'll just give an analogy. P.S if it is related to anyone living or dead, it is totally coincidental ok?
John, a Sec 4 kid, has a great passion for God. He is actively serving as a CGL intern. He has great academic results, popular in school and in church. But, he has a terrible weakness for smoking. As in, he was a passive smoker and he allows his classmates to let him breathe some smoke in once a week. His thoughts are such that :" Aiyah, once a week only mah! I can stop whenever I like" So he just keeps this skeleton in his closet alive.
Soon, one of his xiong dih (hierachy in class) offers him a cigarette stick. John ponders:" God will allow one stick lar... I suppose" John took the stick.
Sooner or later, John was not only smoking, he was sniffing glue as well. By now he felt very distant from God. He keeps thinking:" Oh no! Somewhere in the Bible, God says that our bodies are a temple of God. I corrupted it with drugs!!! Now how? Now how???" John felt very withdrawn from God. He denied the fact that Jesus died for him, since he felt that he was too bad for God to rescue. Soon he left church and a few days later, a newspaper report rose and it read that John had commited suicide.
So what can we learn from this analogy? Personally I feel that this is one case that the devil finds a foothold and starts fighting for the rest of you. In the book I was reading, the author said that the devil will look for your weakness and manipulate it. Once he gets a steady ground, the devil will fight long and hard to get the rest of you down to hell with him. But God will save us. He never failed us once at all. I mean, just ask yourselves, When did God ever fail you? (crap I'm sounding like a preacher... sorry)
During Sat's Youth service, after the message, Euclid prayed for me and he told me this "No matter what you do, it cannot pull you away from God's love" (forgive me if i quoted wrongly, Euclid!) It is SUUUUPER encouraging lar, such an awesome God can love a sinner such as ourselves, He loves us SOOOO much that He could send His own son down to die for our sins!!!
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" James 4:7
God will provide us the resources and the weapons needed to whack the devil back to Berlin (sorry I just studied History today abt WWI and I REALLY hate Germany)... But I suppose we gotta stay strong, bonded by the Spirit of God. I read this from somewhere (again, I cannot remember where)
Stand together, pray for each other and continue to seek God, and the devil will find no place to bombard with his flaming arrows of lies
Yup... that's about all I gotta say... See you all this coming Saturday!!!!!!!!
A new year... Another 51 weeks to go before the new year comes again... Anyway, I really want to thank God for my new class for the next two years! It is really awesome! I mean, seriously, God really answers our prayers pretty fast. During the prayer meeting on the 29th of Dec, '07, Ben, Reuben, Matthieu and myself are in one big prayer group, and when Ben was asking us to ask God what he wants from us in the new year (I think) this part of a song keeps playing on my mind, like some broken record.
The Bright and Morning Star
The Great I Am You are,
Jesus
Jesus
The King Above All Kings,
Creator of all things,
Jesus
Jesus
The song is titled "Jesus" from the Never Stop album. (I think it is in the Saviour of the World album too).
For today's sharing, I would like to share about the book I am reading again "Every Man, God's Man" (was mentioned in my earlier post). Now i want to share about Chapter 8, cos God spoke to me again. The chapter is entitled "Do not give the devil a foothold"
Anyway the chapter starts by talking about D-Day during WWII, it depicts the Allies (USA) trying to take the beach of Normandy which the Germans were trying their very best to hold it out. So it is like, when books describe scenes like that, naturally your mind would wander and try to picture the scene right? Anyway i see machine guns blazing and a lot of men falling. Yeah anyway... the book goes on to describe a period after D-Day started, that the US troops have finally secured one tiny ground on the Normandy beach. (Secured as in "with no bullets shot at them and a safe area to rest) From that tiny ground, the Allies took over the beach in a matter of hours.
My point is not to go fight a war for the fun of it, but my point is that this can be applied into our spiritual lives. For example... argh I'll just give an analogy. P.S if it is related to anyone living or dead, it is totally coincidental ok?
John, a Sec 4 kid, has a great passion for God. He is actively serving as a CGL intern. He has great academic results, popular in school and in church. But, he has a terrible weakness for smoking. As in, he was a passive smoker and he allows his classmates to let him breathe some smoke in once a week. His thoughts are such that :" Aiyah, once a week only mah! I can stop whenever I like" So he just keeps this skeleton in his closet alive.
Soon, one of his xiong dih (hierachy in class) offers him a cigarette stick. John ponders:" God will allow one stick lar... I suppose" John took the stick.
Sooner or later, John was not only smoking, he was sniffing glue as well. By now he felt very distant from God. He keeps thinking:" Oh no! Somewhere in the Bible, God says that our bodies are a temple of God. I corrupted it with drugs!!! Now how? Now how???" John felt very withdrawn from God. He denied the fact that Jesus died for him, since he felt that he was too bad for God to rescue. Soon he left church and a few days later, a newspaper report rose and it read that John had commited suicide.
So what can we learn from this analogy? Personally I feel that this is one case that the devil finds a foothold and starts fighting for the rest of you. In the book I was reading, the author said that the devil will look for your weakness and manipulate it. Once he gets a steady ground, the devil will fight long and hard to get the rest of you down to hell with him. But God will save us. He never failed us once at all. I mean, just ask yourselves, When did God ever fail you? (crap I'm sounding like a preacher... sorry)
During Sat's Youth service, after the message, Euclid prayed for me and he told me this "No matter what you do, it cannot pull you away from God's love" (forgive me if i quoted wrongly, Euclid!) It is SUUUUPER encouraging lar, such an awesome God can love a sinner such as ourselves, He loves us SOOOO much that He could send His own son down to die for our sins!!!
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" James 4:7
God will provide us the resources and the weapons needed to whack the devil back to Berlin (sorry I just studied History today abt WWI and I REALLY hate Germany)... But I suppose we gotta stay strong, bonded by the Spirit of God. I read this from somewhere (again, I cannot remember where)
Stand together, pray for each other and continue to seek God, and the devil will find no place to bombard with his flaming arrows of lies
Yup... that's about all I gotta say... See you all this coming Saturday!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
What is this love, given to us,t saved my life, the selfless sacrifice
hey everyone.
ah i guess i'll just cut to the chase.
i haven't had a good week at all seriously. i've had stuff ranging from school...to cca to friendships
and.. well i was really discouraged lah i guess.. mostly for the 'friendship' section.
cuz i mean... i suppose the older youths like josh,minwei,joel etc etc have like...been really waiting for this revival in the youth lah.. and then. suddenly unexpected problems begin to show up and stuff...
And just because of that. friendships get threatened. people get hurt. and trust is pretty much lost in the process as well..
well. i really didn't know what to do back then lah i guess...
i guess i was feeling really angry at the people who started the problem and i really just wanted to slap them or something....
but yeah... God revealed to me through a friend that like...would that really be what God wanted me to do?
and even though it was really really hard.... i guess... me ,******,****,**,****** all pulled through lah i guess.... which im really really thankful for! :D
and i was super dooper touched by the worship last sat by the way. cuz yeah the lyrics Hosanna in the Highest really spoke to me. like... whenever we have problems. God's always there in his throne just waiting for us to call out to him (:
and um.... yeah lah please pray for my studies toooo.... that i'll really really study this 2 years cuz i dont wanna go for Con Camp cuz its during the june and dec hols and i really really wanna go youth/church camp!
and my willpower is seriously just failing me. for now i guess.
ah i guess i'll just cut to the chase.
i haven't had a good week at all seriously. i've had stuff ranging from school...to cca to friendships
and.. well i was really discouraged lah i guess.. mostly for the 'friendship' section.
cuz i mean... i suppose the older youths like josh,minwei,joel etc etc have like...been really waiting for this revival in the youth lah.. and then. suddenly unexpected problems begin to show up and stuff...
And just because of that. friendships get threatened. people get hurt. and trust is pretty much lost in the process as well..
well. i really didn't know what to do back then lah i guess...
i guess i was feeling really angry at the people who started the problem and i really just wanted to slap them or something....
but yeah... God revealed to me through a friend that like...would that really be what God wanted me to do?
and even though it was really really hard.... i guess... me ,******,****,**,****** all pulled through lah i guess.... which im really really thankful for! :D
and i was super dooper touched by the worship last sat by the way. cuz yeah the lyrics Hosanna in the Highest really spoke to me. like... whenever we have problems. God's always there in his throne just waiting for us to call out to him (:
and um.... yeah lah please pray for my studies toooo.... that i'll really really study this 2 years cuz i dont wanna go for Con Camp cuz its during the june and dec hols and i really really wanna go youth/church camp!
and my willpower is seriously just failing me. for now i guess.
renewal
hey guys...
i'm not sure if i shared in my previous posting but God has been really good to me these few days? haha. basically, during the last part of 07, i was feeling incredibly dry and even during the transformers camp, i wasn't very 'touched' or anything, there was no spiritual high for me although of course, i was very encouraged by the work God was doing and the way in which He answered my prayers for the camp.
but anyway, i'm the journalling sort. i've been journally quite faithfully since maybe like when i was 19. yes, looong time ago but ya, during my dry period, i felt like it was so pointless to journal coz i had nothing much to say. u know how we usually start off with thanksgiving and all? i felt like i had nothing to say and journalling had just become a chore although it's a good way to properly pray coz i write down my prayers and it helps to have something to look back to when answered prayers come along and i need confirmation and stuff. but anyway, i decided to just stop journalling out of habit and to take things a little easier. again, since maybe about 19, i've made a point to do my qt first thing in the morning to set my focus right for the day and stuff but maybe at the start of the new year, i was lamenting to God about the state of my spiritual life and i decided to do thing differently. i will only journal when i want to and i won't do my qt out of habit. hmmm. i sound like a terrible person now but the truth is, God responded and has somehow put this new zeal and desire in my heart to spend time with Him. now, i journal at night or in the afternoons, whenever i feel like i want to and when i read the bible, it's no longer dry and boring but i'm learning new things everyday. and i can honestly say that i'm excited about what the Spirit has to reveal to me in His word daily now. i wake up in the morning and i'm happy coz i can sense His presence in my life tangibly :)
i'll share some things that He has taught me la. some of it might seem quite duh but it was so refreshing when He opened my eyes. i'm reading the book of Romans now and somehow, this phrase popped up at me, 'Spirit of holiness' (1:4) and i was so wow and then as i was pondering it, i was like, of course la, He's the HOLY Spirit what. and then i went on to consider what that means and i realised that the Holy Spirit is holiness itelf. His character is personified in His name and it dawned upon me that i cannot ask for the Spirit to fill me if i am not holy coz unholiness is antithetical to Him. i'm not saying that we can be holy on our own efforts but that we must have a spirit of humility to ask Him to reveal our sins to us, to confess and repent and to have the blood of Jesus wash us white as snow. and we can be holy by seeking to have an attitude of obedience to His word. it is ridiculous to speak of holiness without mention of an obedient and surrendered life. so yeah, the concluding point from this pop-up would be that we cannot ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit if we are clinging on to unholiness.
yes, the second thing is a very familiar passage from Romans 12:1-2
'Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.'
this was quoted to me by doreen yesterday. i can't remember the context of the situation but this morning when i woke up, i was pondering it. it's a familiar passage that i had to memorise in the past and it's a blessing to commit His word to memory la. something i hope to do more often this year :P but anyway, as i recited the passage to myself in my mind, i was struck by the word 'transformed' coz obviously, that reminds us of the recent camp and the answer to being transformed is encapsulated in the verse. to not conform any longer to the ways of the world and to have our minds renewed. the first would be pretty obvious. to be aliens and strangers in the world, to be set apart for God etc. the second part, the renewing of our minds, how does that happen? i believe that it's through the study of His word, allowing it to judge our hearts and thoughts, allowing if to be a purifying and focussing agent in our lives. the reason why i say focussing is coz i believe the bible helps us to declutter. not just like our physical lives but also our emotional lives. forgiving enemies, pressing on ahead, having our security in our identity in Christ. the word of God does so much more than the little i've mentioned.
wow. i'm learning things as i'm writing them out. God is way cool :)
anyway, my resolution for this year would be to read the bible more and to know His word better coz that's important :)
i'm not sure if i shared in my previous posting but God has been really good to me these few days? haha. basically, during the last part of 07, i was feeling incredibly dry and even during the transformers camp, i wasn't very 'touched' or anything, there was no spiritual high for me although of course, i was very encouraged by the work God was doing and the way in which He answered my prayers for the camp.
but anyway, i'm the journalling sort. i've been journally quite faithfully since maybe like when i was 19. yes, looong time ago but ya, during my dry period, i felt like it was so pointless to journal coz i had nothing much to say. u know how we usually start off with thanksgiving and all? i felt like i had nothing to say and journalling had just become a chore although it's a good way to properly pray coz i write down my prayers and it helps to have something to look back to when answered prayers come along and i need confirmation and stuff. but anyway, i decided to just stop journalling out of habit and to take things a little easier. again, since maybe about 19, i've made a point to do my qt first thing in the morning to set my focus right for the day and stuff but maybe at the start of the new year, i was lamenting to God about the state of my spiritual life and i decided to do thing differently. i will only journal when i want to and i won't do my qt out of habit. hmmm. i sound like a terrible person now but the truth is, God responded and has somehow put this new zeal and desire in my heart to spend time with Him. now, i journal at night or in the afternoons, whenever i feel like i want to and when i read the bible, it's no longer dry and boring but i'm learning new things everyday. and i can honestly say that i'm excited about what the Spirit has to reveal to me in His word daily now. i wake up in the morning and i'm happy coz i can sense His presence in my life tangibly :)
i'll share some things that He has taught me la. some of it might seem quite duh but it was so refreshing when He opened my eyes. i'm reading the book of Romans now and somehow, this phrase popped up at me, 'Spirit of holiness' (1:4) and i was so wow and then as i was pondering it, i was like, of course la, He's the HOLY Spirit what. and then i went on to consider what that means and i realised that the Holy Spirit is holiness itelf. His character is personified in His name and it dawned upon me that i cannot ask for the Spirit to fill me if i am not holy coz unholiness is antithetical to Him. i'm not saying that we can be holy on our own efforts but that we must have a spirit of humility to ask Him to reveal our sins to us, to confess and repent and to have the blood of Jesus wash us white as snow. and we can be holy by seeking to have an attitude of obedience to His word. it is ridiculous to speak of holiness without mention of an obedient and surrendered life. so yeah, the concluding point from this pop-up would be that we cannot ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit if we are clinging on to unholiness.
yes, the second thing is a very familiar passage from Romans 12:1-2
'Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.'
this was quoted to me by doreen yesterday. i can't remember the context of the situation but this morning when i woke up, i was pondering it. it's a familiar passage that i had to memorise in the past and it's a blessing to commit His word to memory la. something i hope to do more often this year :P but anyway, as i recited the passage to myself in my mind, i was struck by the word 'transformed' coz obviously, that reminds us of the recent camp and the answer to being transformed is encapsulated in the verse. to not conform any longer to the ways of the world and to have our minds renewed. the first would be pretty obvious. to be aliens and strangers in the world, to be set apart for God etc. the second part, the renewing of our minds, how does that happen? i believe that it's through the study of His word, allowing it to judge our hearts and thoughts, allowing if to be a purifying and focussing agent in our lives. the reason why i say focussing is coz i believe the bible helps us to declutter. not just like our physical lives but also our emotional lives. forgiving enemies, pressing on ahead, having our security in our identity in Christ. the word of God does so much more than the little i've mentioned.
wow. i'm learning things as i'm writing them out. God is way cool :)
anyway, my resolution for this year would be to read the bible more and to know His word better coz that's important :)
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Direction
Wow, sorry I wasn't able to find the time to post on the blog coz the month of December was seriously hectic. Ever since camp I was busy with the Teban Christmas Party Games Stalls, following that was the Thanksgiving Video and in between were a number of family gatherings and people calling me up for advice, Christmas Cards, Christmas Shopping, meeting up with friends, trying to exercise (just started 2 days ago after a 1 month absence, my body is aching =D)... Phew, finally I've some time by myself infront of the computer without something to be worried about.
Things have been going fine for me spiritually and stuff though I was slightly discouraged for a while during the worship session which Minwei was talking about. Was a bit disheartened that the Youths did not carry over all of that passion and enthusiasm when it comes to worship for God from camp back to our regular Youth Service.
But it was kinda short lived as I decided to worship God and put into action what I always encourage others to do; disregarding those around us and focus on Him. So yah, if it encourages you a little I was ministered to during that worship and basically it's been wonderful everything we gather to enter into God's presence. Albeit there are still some nagging worries at the back of my brain such as the Youth and myself not recapturing the fire back at camp, that the ministry would "stagnate" and not seek God more but just wait for camps to do that, people feeling left out, etc. I guess throughout the year God has time and time again taught me to just trust in Him and believe that He is going to do something great in our midst and ultimately it's His work. Everytime I had these fears, He has never failed to amaze me so I hope this year I will spend less time worrying (I struggle alot of this) and believing in our God as a God of power and that the seed He has sown He will see to completion. As for my part, it's to remain faithful.
Ooo, just recollected that I've got quite a cool personal sharing. Hmm, not sure if I should share it here. Perhaps another time when we meet up =). Oh yah, recruitment drive how sia?
Anyway, as I now find myself with quite a bit of free time I hope you guys can pray for me as to what should I do. Haven't really had the time to seriously consider which area I should move into. Should I get a job like most of my friends? If yes should it be full time or part-time? Should I attend somes courses at SBC instead? Or should I try taking up an internship at church? I'm really quite uncertain as to what exactly should I do but I'm more inclined to do something related to knowing / serving God. So what if my resume lacks one less job experience or if I run dry on my savings (I ain't getting any pocket money and my bank account consist purely of what I earnt during NS =p). Don't think I'll ever be given the luxury of 6 months free time. Hmm... but I still dunno sia and I don't want to do church related stuff, appealing as it may be, if it ain't where God wants me to be. What should I do now God?
Things have been going fine for me spiritually and stuff though I was slightly discouraged for a while during the worship session which Minwei was talking about. Was a bit disheartened that the Youths did not carry over all of that passion and enthusiasm when it comes to worship for God from camp back to our regular Youth Service.
But it was kinda short lived as I decided to worship God and put into action what I always encourage others to do; disregarding those around us and focus on Him. So yah, if it encourages you a little I was ministered to during that worship and basically it's been wonderful everything we gather to enter into God's presence. Albeit there are still some nagging worries at the back of my brain such as the Youth and myself not recapturing the fire back at camp, that the ministry would "stagnate" and not seek God more but just wait for camps to do that, people feeling left out, etc. I guess throughout the year God has time and time again taught me to just trust in Him and believe that He is going to do something great in our midst and ultimately it's His work. Everytime I had these fears, He has never failed to amaze me so I hope this year I will spend less time worrying (I struggle alot of this) and believing in our God as a God of power and that the seed He has sown He will see to completion. As for my part, it's to remain faithful.
Ooo, just recollected that I've got quite a cool personal sharing. Hmm, not sure if I should share it here. Perhaps another time when we meet up =). Oh yah, recruitment drive how sia?
Anyway, as I now find myself with quite a bit of free time I hope you guys can pray for me as to what should I do. Haven't really had the time to seriously consider which area I should move into. Should I get a job like most of my friends? If yes should it be full time or part-time? Should I attend somes courses at SBC instead? Or should I try taking up an internship at church? I'm really quite uncertain as to what exactly should I do but I'm more inclined to do something related to knowing / serving God. So what if my resume lacks one less job experience or if I run dry on my savings (I ain't getting any pocket money and my bank account consist purely of what I earnt during NS =p). Don't think I'll ever be given the luxury of 6 months free time. Hmm... but I still dunno sia and I don't want to do church related stuff, appealing as it may be, if it ain't where God wants me to be. What should I do now God?
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
hmm..
ok. obviously no one heeds what i said and tianyi the tooty used the thanksgiving service bit as an excuse. by the way, josh, i think u haven't posted for like a month. as u know, a new year usually comes with a resolution or many resolutions so this year's resolution will be that we all blog every 2 weeks as agreed upon several months ago :P
anyway, i realise once again that i didn't do what i told others to. i can come up with the usual excuses, been busy, was sick, am sick, don't like using the internet, whatever. but the excuses don't matter la. so i shall just share...
last night during the thanksgiving service, edward led 'at the cross' and what really touched my heart was the third stanza:
And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me
don't know why... maybe all the phelgm was going to my head but i was somehow able to imagine what it might be like if Jesus was before me. i've never been much good at this. when i was in sec sch, we went through this thing where we were guided as to how to reflect before taking the holy communion. the first part would be a revisiting the cross, imagining Him on it and the pain and stuff but i could never really do that. my imagination power's not that great. haha. but anyway, back to my story, i imagined myself before Jesus and i saw myself reaching out to Him and that's when i realised, He's my treasure. then the familiar teachings of Jesus came to mind too. about how where my treasure is, there my heart will be also and i told Him, yes Lord, i want my heart to be with You. i'm not sure if u all can empathise but sometimes i'm so unsure of where my heart is. but well, the bible does say that the heart is deceitful above all things but my point is that i was encouraged by what i just shared coz i've been feeling quite dry recently. but joanne reminded me on sat whilst praying for me that i will seek Him and find Him when i seek Him with all my heart so yeah, i guess that's something that the rest of u can pray for me regarding...
i was also quite discouraged by the week before's youth service when everyone seemed so dead and i was mulling over it the whole time after service, accounting for why i looked so moody during the block party and stuff (ps: i do have reasons for being black face. haha) but ya, at night when i was praying about it, i was reminded of something that jeremy shared during the music min meeting in i don't know which month. the whole thing about how the band is not restricted to the musicians and wls but also the congregation because the only audience is God and our desire is to have Him shout 'encore' and yeah, that's when i realised that whether a worship session is good or not is not dependent on the wl. so many times, i've felt like it was but it isn't. whether or not we experience His presence incredibly depends on His favour and whether we're earnestly seeking Him as one. the bottom line of it all is that regardless of how the congregation is responding, my own response has to be to worship Him myself first regardless. so yeah...
anyway, can pray for me la. i hate being sick... :(
anyway, i realise once again that i didn't do what i told others to. i can come up with the usual excuses, been busy, was sick, am sick, don't like using the internet, whatever. but the excuses don't matter la. so i shall just share...
last night during the thanksgiving service, edward led 'at the cross' and what really touched my heart was the third stanza:
And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me
don't know why... maybe all the phelgm was going to my head but i was somehow able to imagine what it might be like if Jesus was before me. i've never been much good at this. when i was in sec sch, we went through this thing where we were guided as to how to reflect before taking the holy communion. the first part would be a revisiting the cross, imagining Him on it and the pain and stuff but i could never really do that. my imagination power's not that great. haha. but anyway, back to my story, i imagined myself before Jesus and i saw myself reaching out to Him and that's when i realised, He's my treasure. then the familiar teachings of Jesus came to mind too. about how where my treasure is, there my heart will be also and i told Him, yes Lord, i want my heart to be with You. i'm not sure if u all can empathise but sometimes i'm so unsure of where my heart is. but well, the bible does say that the heart is deceitful above all things but my point is that i was encouraged by what i just shared coz i've been feeling quite dry recently. but joanne reminded me on sat whilst praying for me that i will seek Him and find Him when i seek Him with all my heart so yeah, i guess that's something that the rest of u can pray for me regarding...
i was also quite discouraged by the week before's youth service when everyone seemed so dead and i was mulling over it the whole time after service, accounting for why i looked so moody during the block party and stuff (ps: i do have reasons for being black face. haha) but ya, at night when i was praying about it, i was reminded of something that jeremy shared during the music min meeting in i don't know which month. the whole thing about how the band is not restricted to the musicians and wls but also the congregation because the only audience is God and our desire is to have Him shout 'encore' and yeah, that's when i realised that whether a worship session is good or not is not dependent on the wl. so many times, i've felt like it was but it isn't. whether or not we experience His presence incredibly depends on His favour and whether we're earnestly seeking Him as one. the bottom line of it all is that regardless of how the congregation is responding, my own response has to be to worship Him myself first regardless. so yeah...
anyway, can pray for me la. i hate being sick... :(
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