passion and purity

i have to say that i'm quite impressed that people remembered to post without me having to send a fierce email or whatever. definitely a refreshing change. haha.

but anyway, i'll just share something from my qt 2 days. i'm reading from that lent booklet thing we were given. i'm quite a few days behind the actual schedule but i don't think it really matters but anyway, the one i'll be sharing from is dated 22 feb. it's from exodus 16:9-21 (ESV).

9Then Moses said to Aaron, "Say to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, 'Come near before the LORD, for he has heard your grumbling.'" 10And as soon as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, they looked toward the wilderness, and behold, the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud.
the thing that really touched my heart is that God is not slow to answer and it's incredible how even when we grumble, when others would draw away from us coz we're being so bad mood or whatever, God calls us to draw near to Him. even when we're grumbling against God, He calls us to draw near to Him.

11And the LORD said to Moses, 12"Ihave heard the grumbling of the people of Israel. Say to them, 'At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall be filled with bread. Then you shall know that I am the LORD your God.'"

13In the evening quail came up and covered the camp, and in the morning dew lay around the camp.
and then He provides in abundance.

14And when the dew had gone up, there was on the face of the wilderness a fine, flake-like thing, fine as frost on the ground.
His provision is obvious. there's no need to search high or low for it. it's right in front of us. it's whether we recognise the provision or if we need, like the Israelites, Moses to point out God's provision for their physical hunger.

15When the people of Israel saw it, they said to one another, "What is it?" For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, "It is the bread that the LORD has given you to eat.
we need to be spiritually sensitive to His provision and blessings, to recognise them as God-given.

16This is what the LORD has commanded: 'Gather of it, each one of you, as much as he can eat. You shall each take an omer, according to the number of the persons that each of you has in his tent.'" 17And the people of Israel did so. They gathered, some more, some less. 18But when they measured it with an omer,whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack. Each of them gathered as much as he could eat.
i think this bit is about how God is one of justice and fairness. maybe it links also to how He does not give us more than we can bear in terms of trials and such.

19And Moses said to them, "Let no one leave any of it over till the morning." 20But they did not listen to Moses. Some left part of it till the morning, and it bred worms and stank. And Moses was angry with them. 21Morning by morning they gathered it, each as much as he could eat; but when the sun grew hot, it melted.
i think this is the warning bit in the passage for me because it essentially speaks of disobedience, that regarding God's commands and a refusal to heed the words of a God-appointed leader. the manna bred worms and stank speaks about how when we disobey, it will be evident. maybe not immediately coz we can lead double lives or whatever but ultimately, it will show. why? because no fruits will be borne *(John 15:5-6, NIV).

5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

and it's not just that the disobedience is manifest but it can also contaminate others around us. which is why it's so important for us, particularly those who serve in the ymm that we keep allowing God to search us and purify us and when we disobey , to quickly repent and return to God because it will affect our service. refer to Joshua 7 for Achan's sin and how that of 1 man's could affect the entire army of Israel and God's favour.

so the most important thing is that we must keep ourselves holy and humble, quick to respond to God's commands and to have soft hearts.

the time has come

The time has come
To stand for all we believe in
So I for one am gonna give my praise to You
Jesus!

this post isn't going to be very lucid because this is all off-the-cuff, but here goes.

last couple of weeks were quite dry for me spiritually, but i thank God for speaking to me more clearly on saturday :) was really ministered to during the worship, and God showed me the "state of my heart". 1) that i've become too proud to WORK at my spiritual life, i.e. being satisfied with mediocre QT and sloppy prayers. 2) that i've been content with living on past mercies, or thoughts of how God was real to me in the past. so i was greatly challenged to seek God for a new revelation every single day, and not just be satisfied with the past. as it goes in lamentations 3, "His mercies are new every morning." i won't say that i'm completely out of the woods yet, but i thank God for refreshing me last saturday :)

i've been pretty stressed recently because had a lot of deadlines and stuff, so i've been having weird stomach aches (can pray for that). quite nervous about the 1march worship because prep has been so intense, and i'm just afraid that we'll end up too focussed on the technical details and not enough on God. so yeah i'm reminding myself that this is not cast in stone, God can still rearrange my set/do something else, so praying for spiritual sensitivity.

just like tian yi, i've also been having problems inviting friends for this saturday. was reminded during the message last saturday not to treat my non-Christian friends as simply a pool of people from which i pick a few to come for evangelistic events to make myself feel good, but really, i need to start making an effort to build a friendship with them. so far those i've invited have been quite non-commital about it, so i'm a little disappointed, but yeah still praying hard for them.

other than that, it is my holidays this week! hahaha so i'm pretty happy about that :D okay that's all ciao! :)

sigh ok. i think i'll just share whatever i have on my mind la.

first off, was saturday...
i don't know why. but then halfway through the worship i was like. shucks la i dont really feel like i have the heart to drum anymore.

NOT that i'm indecisive in the place where i am serving now. but i just felt this feeling like i just needed to be alone and just not do anything at all.....

so yeah , i was actually hoping that the speaker wont ask the musicians to go up and play response song...cuz i really felt very displaced and frayed.

Like the passion for God inside of me was just extinguished.
And like whatever was going on inside of me was like. xian.....
But yeah im ok now i guess,after talking to some people, getting encouraged and all that.

another thing im really having trouble with is asking people to go for the tony anthony thing
I mean, its like in acs people don't really give a damn about what real christianity is lah.
To say the truth. acsI is just a neighbourhood school with lots of money.

so yeah...need a little help on that part. prayer will help alot.

and one more thing i just learnt today during my quiet time. is not to judge people.
quite cliche lah but i was actually feeling damn pissed like 1 hour ago.

so yeah im ok now lah.oh gosh my itunes is like playing all the fast songs now.... sigh
ok yeah thats all i have no lah i guess and i got 3 exams(hopefully 2) tomorrow. so yeah pray for me please if you read this by today or something(:

A Pure Heart

Hi guys!

I finally remembered to post this time... Anyway...

Quite recently, my dad bought a magazine from the "Rock" Bookstore (@Suntec) and I was flipping through it the last week. This magazine is actually the NC (new century) version of the New Testament! What makes it even better is that it has slips of notes here and there for verse applications! This note struck me (kind of)... Here it goes.

Mark 7:20-22

In a nutshell, the notes reads that during Jesus' time, the spiritual leaders were concerned about outward stuff, such as sitting away from the unclean people while eating, do not eat with unclean hands etc. and they (spiritual leaders... I suppose its the Pharisees) get very jumpy when people does something wrong outwardly. Jesus mentioned the verse from Isaiah 29:13 to tell the Pharisees off. Actually, come to think about it, the only time when Jesus gets "rude" is when he talks to the Pharisees. (Cannot remember where but Jesus called them "a brood of vipers" once.)

In verse 20, Jesus mentioned that what comes out from within determines if a person is clean or unclean. Going on to verse 21-22, Jesus gives some examples about unclean things from within (Greed, murder, adultery etc.)

Personally, I think that these verses talks about how we need to have a pure heart. God forgives sins... almost every sin except denying that Jesus is our personal Lord and Saviour. A pure heart (to my opinion) is that you do not fill it with sinful thoughts, instead fill it with God's word.

I admit I don't have a pure heart... Most of the time the devil plants thoughts into my head and I entertain them. You know sometimes when you sin, you want to hide from God? I know I do. Sometimes when I know that I am sinning, but yet I let the devil coax me into doing it. After that, I am usually filled with guilt and I always run from God, thinking that He will be pissed with me and yell the crap out of me. But that is not what God is like. When we sin, we should RUN TO HIM INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM!!! When we run to God and tell him about it, He will help us out. Still, sometimes it is difficult, esp. when the devil planted the seed of that particular sin in your head and it grew into a sucking tree already.

I think the best way to conquer the devil is to pray and keep seeking God whenever the devil tries to plant the seed of sin in your head.

That is all I gotta say so far...

In God's grace,
Yong Quan

pressing in

hey guys,

today's worship was quite a reminder for me in that like what pastor said, the call of God these few weeks have been to enter into His presence and ya, let's rem to pray for our ministry regarding this. pray by name if possible and yeah, for yourself too.

hmm. i think i had more to say but i can't rem now. haha. shumay is leading worship for the tony anthony service so let's pray for her too.

encourage

hey guys,

hmmm. it sounds like we're all mainly going through a dry spot right now and well, sometimes i feel very burdened as a leader that i must encourage those who serve with me and build them up and stuff and i'm really thankful that today, i actually have something to say that's constructive and not meandering and all.

as those who went to church last sun should know, we all got this devotional book for lent and usually, i don't keep to these things coz i have my own way of doing devotion but coz the book looks so nice, i decided i will try to use it. it's think enough to leave in your bag and read on the bus and stuff. so anyway, i accidentally read the devotion for the second day yesterday but it really encouraged me and gave me hope coz it was mainly about God's compassion and somehow, i sensed that i should read lamentations and so i did and here's the part that i pray will lift your spirits too:

21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

31 For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

40 Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the LORD.

41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
to God in heaven, and say:

42 "We have sinned and rebelled
and you have not forgiven.

43 "You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
you have slain without pity.

44 You have covered yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can get through.

55 I called on your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit.

56 You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears
to my cry for relief."

57 You came near when I called you,
and you said, "Do not fear."

just take some time to ponder this passage and ya, claim His promise that His compassion NEVER fails and His mercies are new every morning. that's what i wanna cling to.

ok. i can't rem the other thing i wanted to say. haha :P

clean

hello everyone! sigh i've really been tardy about updating here. no excuses, but spiritually i've been quite sian so haven't really had any Great Insights to share.

anyway, i guess yesterday's youth worship was quite good for me. during prac i was quite annoyed at myself because i was so pitchy (being distracted and all), and so when worship started proper i just prayed that i'd be able to worship, and not just to sing. because sometimes i find myself thinking, okay i need to remember how to harmonise here etcetc till i forget that i'm not performing, i'm supposed to be worshipping God. and yesterday what we learnt at band meeting, to worship "in spirit and in truth" was running through my head too, so that was a good reminder to constantly check whether i was truly worshipping God.

i also learnt a lot from sharon's message yesterday. the thing that stuck with me is the question, "If you didn't have your voice, would you still be able to worship God?" i really identified with her situation then, because my voice is really important to me, and singing is one of my main ways of connecting with God. even now when i'm having a slight sore throat and can't really sing properly i feel sad. so i can't imagine losing my voice and being unable to "worship" God. i'm still thinking about that question, and praying that God will one day teach me how to worship Him despite everything, and even through my "least preferred" way.

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

next week will be really busy for me, with many deadlines and appointments to keep, so you all could just pray for strength, and for discipline to study. on a side note, as part of my involvement with Campus Crusade for Christ, i'll be going around school distributing an evangelistic newsletter so that's going to be exciting! really praying that i can reach out more in NUS, because so far i've not been doing much i think. also hoping that i can invite some of my friends to various evangelistic events that are coming up, so yeah pray for boldness too (because i usually don't ask due to my fear of rejection.)

yup i guess that's all. have a good week peoplezz :)

Desperate

Believe it not I've been busy too. Teban stuff and mostly preparing for this week's worship set; took real long to do the chords and practicing quite a bit cause there's no other e guitarist. Was also a bit disheartened by my first CG outing and class though and things were picking up after the Elder Shing's message.

However, with the worship prepartions, work and other worries somehow I don't feel that constant closeness with God which really isn't cool at all. One moment I feel close to Him whilst listening to songs and worshipping in my heart but then I don't feel the desire spend time looking into His word and praying. Don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling but yah, it's rather unsettling as I wonder whether I like worshipping cause of the music and the emo words instead of truely worshipping Him etc. Doesn't help that I'm worship leading and I don't like being a hypocrite urging others to worship passionately whilst I'm like bleh.

Think I really need to discipline myself to do QT and stuff (somehow Vincent's words of getting our fundementals right with God keep coming back to me). Strangely, when I read a christian book or set time aside to pray I do feel that closeness to God but it's always the starting that is hard for me. Would rather let my mind wonder to do other things and by then I would forget bout Him. Been trying to get up early to do QT but have failed miserably cause I usally wake up at around 11a.m despite my handphone alarms.

Not cool man =(, but yah, guess I should stop sulking and better get working on it! Hence when I saw Minwei's poem I felt inspired to sing it cause I think it's what I feel too...

In Your Freedom

Ok... I admit... I keep forgetting to post... Anyway...

About my spiritual walk, it is pretty low for quite a while... I guess it is my part... I'm not consistant about my QT... You know those days where you just finished knockout tuition and you lie down on your bed, exhausted. The next thing you know, the following morning has arrived. My exams are coming next week.. Pls pray for me... mainly for time management.

I put the video there because this song kinda spoke to me, esp. the chorus "I love you Lord, You rescued me"

That line really touched me and it reminded me about Jesus and His sacrifice for us...

See you all tommorow!

Yong Quan

tardiness

hey guys,
firstly, i think i need to commend tianyi on being the most consistent person so far. the rest, shame on us :P sigh. but i've been so tired with school, completely bogged down with work. presentations every week till mid term then all the mid term tests then all the big essays then exam. woohoo. nothing to look forward to. this sem is really the maddest so far. i just wanna rant and complain and change modules and whatever but obviously i can't. but k. my spiritual walk, honestly, not great. actually, quite bad. i haven't had such a crappy walk since maybe j1? i don't know. hard to keep time when i'm already so advanced in years. haha. but anyway, i don't have much to share except this song/poem/prose that i wrote that pretty much sums up how i feel. i asked minjia to put a tune to it. she played a lot of stuff but i don't know if she managed it in the end. but well, if anyone comes up with something nice, let me know :P

desperate

lord i'm asking once again
i long to be in Your presence
in Your throne room, at Your feet
won't You open heaven's doors
and let me in

i'm dry from being far from You
i need Your touch again
Your power to fill me through and through
set me aflame by Your might

i'm desperate for You lord
to guide me out of this desert place
lead me to the Rock that is higher
i want to see Your face

look upon Your righteousness
touch Your nail pierced hands
see the Love who died for me
that i may understand

Publicity Video Installation II

Hi all.

Here is the video as promised.

What is the other meaning for the song "Lead Me On"?

Yong Quan

P.S The MSN thing can be seen in full screen mode... Not too clear though.

P.P.S If the video above is unavaliable, then watch it from Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiRPgVbmSkw