Yeah... it is been a long time since I last posted... Anyway I want to share about a book that I was reading... It is titled:"Every Man, God's Man" by Stephen Arterburn and Kenny Luck... So yeah... thought it was a pretty cool book and bought it, started reading it thinking that it is just a book... How wrong I was.
The second chapter of this book was titled:"Our Divided Hearts" and the quoted verse struck me.
The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strenghten those whose hearts are fully commited to Him. [2 Chronicles 16:9]
I mean, when you read the verse, typical ppl would say that their hearts are fully commited, thus the above verse is related to them. But it got me thinking... I mean, thoughts just got into my mind, such as "Why am I serving the Music Ministry?", "Do I really have a heart for God?"... all these kind of questions that can seriously blow up your morale.
As I read further on in the chapter, it is talking about how people literally chiong forward, telling God, "I want to serve you!", but when they see the amount of time they have to spend serving etc. (a.k.a commitment), they start to break off from the service. So... what is a definition of "A Divided Heart"? Personally, I think that a divided heart is like the story about the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17-25. A divided heart is when part of you want to serve God, while the other part wants to serve the world. Example... my school life. A couple of months back, before God appeared to me, I always wanted to please my classmates so that I can scale up the Popularity Ladder. Pleasing my classmates is defined here as:Bullying the anti-social guy in the class, talking bad about ppl, agree with the Top Dogs whatever they say, even if it goes against your personal principles... That is the heart which wants to serve the world. I remember reading this from somewhere... not too sure where...
"If you serve the world, the world welcomes you. But if you want to run after Jesus, the world will despise you. Friends will turn away from you, calling you a weirdo and a supporter of nothingness"
I mean... in my case, this statement is pretty true. When I started witnessing (and during the exam period... a little weird right?) my "buddies" refuse to talk to me and they call me "Jesus freak", "Fanatic", even "Demon possesed". To God be the praise... He was protecting me all the way.
So, do we have divided hearts? I think soul searching and praying to God will help us answer the question... If we live according to the standards of the world, who are we living for? But if we live for Jesus, we will gain MUCH MUCH more compared to what the world can give...
Yeah... I'm also crapping too much... Signing off...
God rocks!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
hey alllll
ok yeah im posting cuz i think God kinda revealed something to me through my maid and stuffs.
so yeah. cuz i bought a pair of new shoes, and it like 'bit' the skin of my heels. so it really hurts unless i wear high socks ( which is never gonna happen )
so my maid was like. you must bite the new shoe (as in really bite it anywhere), so the shoe wont bite you. then i was like huh???? isnt that some old wives tale.
then when i was walking to church, i was still thinking about it. then it came to me like. the reason why people dont believe in God.
ok even though it might be really obvious sometimes e.g
(they want control of their own lives etc etc)
But yea i think i managed to see what the other non-christians see.
the point is. that they just don't believe it. and because God's miracles are like so incredible, it really can be super hard to just believe.
like..i didn't believe my maid at all about the biting shoe thing cuz...well firstly i thought, shoes can't respond. 2ndly, it just seemed so impossible, even though she said that she bites her shoes each time she buys a new pair.
wow im beating around the bush alot i think. i cant think straight now.
so its like... firstly, non-christians dont know that God responds, so they may be doubtful, as i was.
2ndly, God's miracles are so impossible and incredible, its so hard to believe sometimes as a non-christian even though you testify to them sometimes, and may seem a little crazy too.
oh well i dont know how meaningful it is to you guys but yeah.
i felt the need to post it :/
ok yeah im posting cuz i think God kinda revealed something to me through my maid and stuffs.
so yeah. cuz i bought a pair of new shoes, and it like 'bit' the skin of my heels. so it really hurts unless i wear high socks ( which is never gonna happen )
so my maid was like. you must bite the new shoe (as in really bite it anywhere), so the shoe wont bite you. then i was like huh???? isnt that some old wives tale.
then when i was walking to church, i was still thinking about it. then it came to me like. the reason why people dont believe in God.
ok even though it might be really obvious sometimes e.g
(they want control of their own lives etc etc)
But yea i think i managed to see what the other non-christians see.
the point is. that they just don't believe it. and because God's miracles are like so incredible, it really can be super hard to just believe.
like..i didn't believe my maid at all about the biting shoe thing cuz...well firstly i thought, shoes can't respond. 2ndly, it just seemed so impossible, even though she said that she bites her shoes each time she buys a new pair.
wow im beating around the bush alot i think. i cant think straight now.
so its like... firstly, non-christians dont know that God responds, so they may be doubtful, as i was.
2ndly, God's miracles are so impossible and incredible, its so hard to believe sometimes as a non-christian even though you testify to them sometimes, and may seem a little crazy too.
oh well i dont know how meaningful it is to you guys but yeah.
i felt the need to post it :/
Thursday, December 20, 2007
and there i find release
hello everyone!
i've put off this post because i've been way too lazy to type everything out, but well, thought i should stop procrastinating and get this done (so i can start on my Christmas cards tomorrow haha).
where do i start sharing? guess it would be good for me to talk about how youth camp was for me.
honestly, i didn't want to go for youth camp. yup, horribly and honestly. because i felt out-of-place, since i'm not a cgl and not really part of raft and camp comm etc. and exams also made it difficult for me to really help out in camp prep till the last week. so i was quite reluctant to go for camp because i didn't want to feel old and leftout, and just thinking about being a "floater" was scary. but my friend encouraged me with the thought that God has a REASON for bringing me to camp, and i must just be open enough to see what it is. so off i went for camp, feeling rather nervous and scared.
now let me gather my thoughts into several neatly-labelled points.
1) i thank God for teaching me humility. i guess all the recent excellent worship sessions i've led have caused me to become rather proud, and i think not doing much for this camp was a good way of teaching me that i'm not indispensable. and it also afforded me more time to interact with people, pray and see things from the outside perspective.
i've always had an aversion to altar calls because i've always told myself that every altar call i answer must mark a CHANGE in my life, and i've been too proud to admit that i need to change things. e.g. i've always been saying, i know i'm proud but i'm not THAT proud. but on worship night, God touched me. firstly, i knelt for the first time in worship, and even though at that point it didn't feel terribly special, just the physical posture of humility helped me to enter a more humble state of mind. then when pastor daniel gave the altar call, i just knew that i'd to answer it. previously, i've always tried to work up feelings to justify answering altar calls because when you see everyone going to the front, standing alone at the back can be very terrifying. but i'm glad i held back then, because on worship night i felt the difference. i felt this fierce thudding in my heart and it was GOD who led me to the front.
so that night was the third altar call i've ever answered in my life, and as i stood there, i was praying for God to show me things i should change in my life, because i needed to make this altar call count. and God is truly amazing. somehow, He managed to dig out all sorts of junk in my heart and made me see that there are so many things in my life that are displeasing Him. let me share one example.
that night, i learnt that i'd to have a 180 degrees change in mindset. all along, i've been thinking, "God, I want to serve You in this area." but that night i realised that that's actually a proud mindset! i'm dictating to Him what I want to do. instead, i should be praying, "God, what do YOU want me to serve You in?" that was seriously a mindblowing change that i'd to make, and it's not an easy one for me to do. i'm still struggling with it, but i thank God for bringing this to light.
2) i thank God for teaching me more about gifts of the Holy Spirit. previously, i've always been quite closed-off to teachings about things like speaking in tongues, falling under the power of God, prophecies etc. but i think this camp has made me more open to such things. i must admit that when i was on stage during powerpoint when pastor daniel was praying for the CGLs and people started falling all around me i was TERRIFIED, but still. i guess this camp, which incidentally also tied in well with the book i was reading at that point, made me see that the Holy Spirit is also about power, and now i'm more open to learning about how this can be demonstrated in a Christian's life.
3) i thank God for teaching me about prayer. prayer has never been my strong point, and throughout this year i've resented God sometimes for seemingly failing to answer my prayers. but what God taught me this camp was: a) to go to Him FIRST in prayer, and b) to trust Him.
on the 2nd night, i was feeling very needy and at that point i really prayed that God would bring someone to pray for me that night. but as i was struggling with all these during worship, He reminded me that even if He doesn't bring people to pray for me that night, i didn't have to worry because i still have the Holy Spirit praying for me, and the Spirit prays according to the will of God! (Romans 8) so after that i felt more relieved, and even though yes that night no one prayed for me, i was still able to feel the peace of God.
and i think camp taught me a very crucial lesson about prayer, that we go first to God and then to man. i've always done the reverse - going to everyone else BUT God with my problems, and then complaining that no one can help. but well, i think going to God first is the better solution. because He knows my need, and He knows who to bring and at what time. isn't that an easier way? and all i need to do is to trust in His timing :)
so yes those are the main lessons i wanna share with everyone.
You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of need
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all of my heart I'll worship
And unto You I'll sing
*For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to seek Your face
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
And we worship You this day
i've put off this post because i've been way too lazy to type everything out, but well, thought i should stop procrastinating and get this done (so i can start on my Christmas cards tomorrow haha).
where do i start sharing? guess it would be good for me to talk about how youth camp was for me.
honestly, i didn't want to go for youth camp. yup, horribly and honestly. because i felt out-of-place, since i'm not a cgl and not really part of raft and camp comm etc. and exams also made it difficult for me to really help out in camp prep till the last week. so i was quite reluctant to go for camp because i didn't want to feel old and leftout, and just thinking about being a "floater" was scary. but my friend encouraged me with the thought that God has a REASON for bringing me to camp, and i must just be open enough to see what it is. so off i went for camp, feeling rather nervous and scared.
now let me gather my thoughts into several neatly-labelled points.
1) i thank God for teaching me humility. i guess all the recent excellent worship sessions i've led have caused me to become rather proud, and i think not doing much for this camp was a good way of teaching me that i'm not indispensable. and it also afforded me more time to interact with people, pray and see things from the outside perspective.
i've always had an aversion to altar calls because i've always told myself that every altar call i answer must mark a CHANGE in my life, and i've been too proud to admit that i need to change things. e.g. i've always been saying, i know i'm proud but i'm not THAT proud. but on worship night, God touched me. firstly, i knelt for the first time in worship, and even though at that point it didn't feel terribly special, just the physical posture of humility helped me to enter a more humble state of mind. then when pastor daniel gave the altar call, i just knew that i'd to answer it. previously, i've always tried to work up feelings to justify answering altar calls because when you see everyone going to the front, standing alone at the back can be very terrifying. but i'm glad i held back then, because on worship night i felt the difference. i felt this fierce thudding in my heart and it was GOD who led me to the front.
so that night was the third altar call i've ever answered in my life, and as i stood there, i was praying for God to show me things i should change in my life, because i needed to make this altar call count. and God is truly amazing. somehow, He managed to dig out all sorts of junk in my heart and made me see that there are so many things in my life that are displeasing Him. let me share one example.
that night, i learnt that i'd to have a 180 degrees change in mindset. all along, i've been thinking, "God, I want to serve You in this area." but that night i realised that that's actually a proud mindset! i'm dictating to Him what I want to do. instead, i should be praying, "God, what do YOU want me to serve You in?" that was seriously a mindblowing change that i'd to make, and it's not an easy one for me to do. i'm still struggling with it, but i thank God for bringing this to light.
2) i thank God for teaching me more about gifts of the Holy Spirit. previously, i've always been quite closed-off to teachings about things like speaking in tongues, falling under the power of God, prophecies etc. but i think this camp has made me more open to such things. i must admit that when i was on stage during powerpoint when pastor daniel was praying for the CGLs and people started falling all around me i was TERRIFIED, but still. i guess this camp, which incidentally also tied in well with the book i was reading at that point, made me see that the Holy Spirit is also about power, and now i'm more open to learning about how this can be demonstrated in a Christian's life.
3) i thank God for teaching me about prayer. prayer has never been my strong point, and throughout this year i've resented God sometimes for seemingly failing to answer my prayers. but what God taught me this camp was: a) to go to Him FIRST in prayer, and b) to trust Him.
on the 2nd night, i was feeling very needy and at that point i really prayed that God would bring someone to pray for me that night. but as i was struggling with all these during worship, He reminded me that even if He doesn't bring people to pray for me that night, i didn't have to worry because i still have the Holy Spirit praying for me, and the Spirit prays according to the will of God! (Romans 8) so after that i felt more relieved, and even though yes that night no one prayed for me, i was still able to feel the peace of God.
and i think camp taught me a very crucial lesson about prayer, that we go first to God and then to man. i've always done the reverse - going to everyone else BUT God with my problems, and then complaining that no one can help. but well, i think going to God first is the better solution. because He knows my need, and He knows who to bring and at what time. isn't that an easier way? and all i need to do is to trust in His timing :)
so yes those are the main lessons i wanna share with everyone.
You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of need
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all of my heart I'll worship
And unto You I'll sing
*For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to seek Your face
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
And we worship You this day
hiyo amigos.
i suppose you can read this on my blog but. oh well.
I LOVED THE CAMPPP
it was super awesome! even though i dont really know what happened during worship night but im sure it was cool.
but yeah im sharing about "jessica's" worship that day.
Gosh seriously i was super touched that day while playing bass and. yeah i really thought that jess's set for that day was super appropriate for them i guess...
i mean all the people in the front. with the slow song set, as jess said. kind of reminded all of us that worship isnt all about the music and pumping beats. and it should never be that way i guess. so yeah kinda out of point i guess...
so anyway. i was really really touched cuz its like.. this has been what we've been waiting for right? a revival . so it was like.... er..
like when your daddy gives you a present that you've always wanted. except in this case 100000000000000000x better. (:
then i guess its in this kind of environment where the 'musicians' get their 'boost' well i dunno i did get one. i felt so.. determined to just play super well and stuff. like really lead them into worship and the presence of God. it was just so awesome.
( i even recalled that worship in africa ok!) so yeah. whooooo youth! FTW!
i suppose you can read this on my blog but. oh well.
I LOVED THE CAMPPP
it was super awesome! even though i dont really know what happened during worship night but im sure it was cool.
but yeah im sharing about "jessica's" worship that day.
Gosh seriously i was super touched that day while playing bass and. yeah i really thought that jess's set for that day was super appropriate for them i guess...
i mean all the people in the front. with the slow song set, as jess said. kind of reminded all of us that worship isnt all about the music and pumping beats. and it should never be that way i guess. so yeah kinda out of point i guess...
so anyway. i was really really touched cuz its like.. this has been what we've been waiting for right? a revival . so it was like.... er..
like when your daddy gives you a present that you've always wanted. except in this case 100000000000000000x better. (:
then i guess its in this kind of environment where the 'musicians' get their 'boost' well i dunno i did get one. i felt so.. determined to just play super well and stuff. like really lead them into worship and the presence of God. it was just so awesome.
( i even recalled that worship in africa ok!) so yeah. whooooo youth! FTW!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
i'm sorry :O
haha. yes yes. i am aware i have broken my own fortnight rule because well, i was busy with my exams and then after that was camp whereby i had to go to church for prac almost everyday and then came camp itself and ahh, we're rushing towards christmas now. dec is like a mad mad rush. maybe this is how new yorkers feel like or something. haha.
hmm. i guess the most normal thing would be to share how youth camp was for me. well, the most encouraging and heartening thing for me was to see everyone worshiping God with arms lifted high and receiving from God, praying for people. amazing sight. something i've been praying for and will keep praying for. we must persevere in praying for our ministry because this is only just the beginning and i'm eager to see God move in even more incredible ways. what really touched my heart was to see my sister (guess which one) singing to God with raised hands and then kneeling down and just seeking God. when i saw that, i cried coz it's another answered prayer and it feels so much more amazing when it's someone close to u. yeah.
but yeah, i don't think i was a very 'good' person during the camp. i was actually supposed to stay over but i felt quite miserable coz i felt so old! and like i have no friends. haha. sound so pathetic right. and ya, i chose the easiest way out. i went home. but on thurs at dinner, my father said that i should have stayed coz i'm a leader and by leaving, i was like deserting everyone. and at first i was quite irritated but when i thought about it, God showed me how true that reprimand was and ya, i should have tried to get to know people better, make the new and young people feel at ease and stuff but yeah, i guess it's coz i was so tired from the mad rush from exams to prac to camp and i was kinda dry la. u know how bad things happen more often when we're dry. so ya la. if u see me doing stupid things like this again, tell me k. haha. come on. sharpening each other right? haha.
but ya. i wanna say woohooooooooo to tianyi coz i'm really impressed by your commitment to excellence. i was realy quite skeptical about u playing bass but wow. u are better than some other bassists who have played longer so yay. cool man. when i need a bassist, i can look to u! haha. so yeah, keep up this pursuit of excellence la. God deserves our best and more. and not just in terms of service but everything. your studies too! haha.
anyway, another amazing thing. not that i really prayed about it but i think i whined about it. basically, somehow, the english department at nus are having 2 other 4000 level mods. which means that i don't have to do this dreaded boring module called modern critical theory!!! haha. which means i should be a happier person next sem la. theory kinda sucks. haha. so yay!!!!!!! :)
hmm. i guess the most normal thing would be to share how youth camp was for me. well, the most encouraging and heartening thing for me was to see everyone worshiping God with arms lifted high and receiving from God, praying for people. amazing sight. something i've been praying for and will keep praying for. we must persevere in praying for our ministry because this is only just the beginning and i'm eager to see God move in even more incredible ways. what really touched my heart was to see my sister (guess which one) singing to God with raised hands and then kneeling down and just seeking God. when i saw that, i cried coz it's another answered prayer and it feels so much more amazing when it's someone close to u. yeah.
but yeah, i don't think i was a very 'good' person during the camp. i was actually supposed to stay over but i felt quite miserable coz i felt so old! and like i have no friends. haha. sound so pathetic right. and ya, i chose the easiest way out. i went home. but on thurs at dinner, my father said that i should have stayed coz i'm a leader and by leaving, i was like deserting everyone. and at first i was quite irritated but when i thought about it, God showed me how true that reprimand was and ya, i should have tried to get to know people better, make the new and young people feel at ease and stuff but yeah, i guess it's coz i was so tired from the mad rush from exams to prac to camp and i was kinda dry la. u know how bad things happen more often when we're dry. so ya la. if u see me doing stupid things like this again, tell me k. haha. come on. sharpening each other right? haha.
but ya. i wanna say woohooooooooo to tianyi coz i'm really impressed by your commitment to excellence. i was realy quite skeptical about u playing bass but wow. u are better than some other bassists who have played longer so yay. cool man. when i need a bassist, i can look to u! haha. so yeah, keep up this pursuit of excellence la. God deserves our best and more. and not just in terms of service but everything. your studies too! haha.
anyway, another amazing thing. not that i really prayed about it but i think i whined about it. basically, somehow, the english department at nus are having 2 other 4000 level mods. which means that i don't have to do this dreaded boring module called modern critical theory!!! haha. which means i should be a happier person next sem la. theory kinda sucks. haha. so yay!!!!!!! :)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
NEW POST :D
haha i've not kept to my fortnightly update SO SORRY. but i've just posted on raft so can check that out! will post about camp soon, once i've finished consolidating all my thoughts.
but yeah, God is awesome :)
but yeah, God is awesome :)
Monday, December 10, 2007
Just Before Youth Camp
Haha, like Tianyi I don't want to infringe on our once every 2 weeks agreement. Well, Youth Camp officially starts in about 6 hours time. I personally feel the build up to the camp has been awesome, especially so the past 2 weeks both in church and outside. It's also so exciting hearing people anticipate the camp so eagerly and all this talk by people about revival happening right in the midst of our very own Youth Ministry.
However, right now I'm just feeling this sense of anxiety and worry. After trying to call up my group members and fix up quiet time groupings I just kept having these nagging doubts at the back of my head; that this camp may not live up to all the hype that's been surrounding it. Or what if I am not able to click well with my group (it's been a while since I've been a TL and it's such a young group). Or what if campers feel left out to state a few.
I really so so so so so desire that God would really impact the lives of ALL the youths who come down and that it would just infect all those around them with a blazing passion for God - but what if a large number of Youths still feel equally distant from God after the camp? I know that a lot of these fears are due to my inability to place enough trust in God's sovereign will and because I have these preconceived notions of how I wish things would turn out but that may not be what God intends to do during this camp. Sigh... feeling so emo now but O God would You please allow a mighty outpouring of Your Spirit to fill the lives of the Youths during this camp!!! Let non-christians become believers during this camp!!! Cause this ministry to truly be on fire for You and one that multiplies!!! We've waited so long and we want more!!!
Sigh... though I think I know what is the correct mindset I should have now with regard to the camp, it's just been hard to open these tightly clenched fist and truly let go and believe that God will handle everything perfectly no matter how things may appear. Was feeling kinda perplexed but as I write these things it has sort of been a therapeutic experience as I articulate my flaws and focus on the fact that our God truly reigns. That being said, though I'm still kinda tired emotionally I'm quite happy how my negative attitude is changing quite drastically as this little "soliloquy" ensues. Wish I could pray with someone now to sooth my nerves a little more but it's not really the right time to call anyone now.
As I was typing, the bridge of "Second Chance" really ministered to me: "So I wait upon You now with my hands released to You. Where a little faith's enough to see mountains lift and move". There's so much more God's got to do with my life and teach me... I find that awesome =).
Hope I'll look back at the things I've wrote and laugh at my foolishness. Exceed our wildest imaginations during this camp Jesus.
However, right now I'm just feeling this sense of anxiety and worry. After trying to call up my group members and fix up quiet time groupings I just kept having these nagging doubts at the back of my head; that this camp may not live up to all the hype that's been surrounding it. Or what if I am not able to click well with my group (it's been a while since I've been a TL and it's such a young group). Or what if campers feel left out to state a few.
I really so so so so so desire that God would really impact the lives of ALL the youths who come down and that it would just infect all those around them with a blazing passion for God - but what if a large number of Youths still feel equally distant from God after the camp? I know that a lot of these fears are due to my inability to place enough trust in God's sovereign will and because I have these preconceived notions of how I wish things would turn out but that may not be what God intends to do during this camp. Sigh... feeling so emo now but O God would You please allow a mighty outpouring of Your Spirit to fill the lives of the Youths during this camp!!! Let non-christians become believers during this camp!!! Cause this ministry to truly be on fire for You and one that multiplies!!! We've waited so long and we want more!!!
Sigh... though I think I know what is the correct mindset I should have now with regard to the camp, it's just been hard to open these tightly clenched fist and truly let go and believe that God will handle everything perfectly no matter how things may appear. Was feeling kinda perplexed but as I write these things it has sort of been a therapeutic experience as I articulate my flaws and focus on the fact that our God truly reigns. That being said, though I'm still kinda tired emotionally I'm quite happy how my negative attitude is changing quite drastically as this little "soliloquy" ensues. Wish I could pray with someone now to sooth my nerves a little more but it's not really the right time to call anyone now.
As I was typing, the bridge of "Second Chance" really ministered to me: "So I wait upon You now with my hands released to You. Where a little faith's enough to see mountains lift and move". There's so much more God's got to do with my life and teach me... I find that awesome =).
Hope I'll look back at the things I've wrote and laugh at my foolishness. Exceed our wildest imaginations during this camp Jesus.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
ok this week's been pretty hectic for me i guess... cuz there's been alot of worship pracs one after another. but i kinda enjoy it lah hahah gosh so weird.
anyway. yeah. what i wanna share now is about..prayer
i've been reading this book and inside theres this part which says "I know now Lord,why you utter no answer.You, yourself is the answer"
which kinda makes me think of this song which i have forgotten the title.. but it goes like... "you're all i want..you're all i ever needed" etc etc.
and yah i think i wanted to share this because im going away for quite long and if i dont post now...means that i would break the fortnight rule like min wei.
just joking.
anyway. yeah. what i wanna share now is about..prayer
i've been reading this book and inside theres this part which says "I know now Lord,why you utter no answer.You, yourself is the answer"
which kinda makes me think of this song which i have forgotten the title.. but it goes like... "you're all i want..you're all i ever needed" etc etc.
and yah i think i wanted to share this because im going away for quite long and if i dont post now...means that i would break the fortnight rule like min wei.
just joking.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Response To Tianyi's Blog Post
Hey dude, tried posting this under the comments portion of your blog put apparently there isn't enough space and I dont have a Vox account which I am lazy to sign up for =p.
Anyway, my 2 cents worth is that that "paralysed" feeling you felt can quite likely be attributed to fatigue. Think it occurs when your body is tired but your mind is still active. I've experienced it once too and was a bit freaked out initially- but after praying and waiting it got better. (I'm not saying that what you went through was definitely of a physical nature only but this is a possibility)
I bet your experience was more freaky with the creepy laughing you heard. (Somehow I'm not comfortable with the term "demonic encounter" so I'll stick to spiritual attack) However, though it could be very possible that what you experienced had a spiritual element in the form of a spiritual attack, my personal opinion is that we should try not to give the devil any "credit" possible.
Using your experience as an example, how do we give the noobster devil "credit"? I think it's when we adopt the attitude that it was "DEFINTELY the devil doing his thing, we were POWERLESS to move" or when we allow that experience to cause fear or doubts about our relationship with God to creep into our lives.
2 Tim 1:7 - "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
Though the spiritual realm is very real and yes satan does try to mess around, I personally feel that we should firstly be cautious to point our finger towards that thing with the horns. There are times when I've felt that I've been on the end of what seemed like a spiritual attack. But having reflected about some of these times, I've come to realize that some of these negative feelings actually arose from issues in my life that I had not resolved with God more than the devil trying to use his fork to prod me. (Ok, don't this point really relates to your experience specifically because your's happened rather involuntarily and quickly)
Secondly, even if it was a spiritual attack we should not allow that feeling of fear, doubt, etc. to linger in our lives. I'm glad that your first response to what you felt was to call upon God and praise Him that He responded in a tangible way to you. But let's try to take it another step further and reject any remnant fears in the name of Jesus because He has given us a spirit of power. Unpleasant as that experience may have been, let's not be afraid that the devil may try it again. If he wants to try again, bring it on! Cause this time we're more prepared and I'm sure the Holy spirit in me is going to kick the devil posterior! To sum it up in a term I've learnt in NS, be "garang".
Thirdly, do not conclude that because we've faced a spirtual attack, there is definitely something wrong in our lives. Though it's true that we can never be 100% Christ-like in this life, let's not go about bashing ourselves up thinking,"Perhaps I'm not seeking God correctly. If He was truly inside of me, I would not have experienced this spirtual attack. Is He really in my life in the first place?". To set the record straight yes, the Holy Spirit is inside of you and always will be when you received Him. He ain't the sort who walks out on people, we are the one's who choose to quench Him. Back to my former point, the devil does attack people who are doing fine spirtually (this does not mean we are satisfied with our current walk with God, we must always desire more!). I think of Job, pretty decent chap, you know the rest.
Fourthly, I don't think most of us are guilty of this but let's not go to the other extreme whereby we think that we must be doing something correct with God hence the devil wants to attack our lives. I think it is possible that people can contort matters in a perverse matter and think that,"Gosh, I'm going through so much opposition with this bunch of people, this must be a spiritual attack, which means I'm doing God's will because the devil attacks those who are spiritual strong. Therefore I must be doing the right thing and should persist." Such logic rides on a very slippery slope as a twisted sense of pride / self-righteousness overcomes the person being "attacked".
To summarize, always discern what's happening in our lives and examine our own lives first before blaming the devil. And even if it were a spiritual attack, let's rise above what the devil can feebly throw with God's anointing in our lives and grow spiritually instead of digressing into fear or discouragement.
Oh gosh, I hope I have not rambled on incessantly but I'm not exactly sure of your experience thus I've tried to cover the bases in my very limited capacity. Hope it has given you some insight and likewise for any other reader (coming up with this has taught me quite a bit). And yep, not directly related to your blogpost, my sensing is that you've been chionging a bit too much for your own good with kool camp, practices and the anxiety of band camp back then lah. Don't burn yourself out yah. Remember to always seek Him in the secret place everyday and prepare yourself / ourselves for the Youth Camp and whatever else our awesome God has prepared for us =).
Anyway, my 2 cents worth is that that "paralysed" feeling you felt can quite likely be attributed to fatigue. Think it occurs when your body is tired but your mind is still active. I've experienced it once too and was a bit freaked out initially- but after praying and waiting it got better. (I'm not saying that what you went through was definitely of a physical nature only but this is a possibility)
I bet your experience was more freaky with the creepy laughing you heard. (Somehow I'm not comfortable with the term "demonic encounter" so I'll stick to spiritual attack) However, though it could be very possible that what you experienced had a spiritual element in the form of a spiritual attack, my personal opinion is that we should try not to give the devil any "credit" possible.
Using your experience as an example, how do we give the noobster devil "credit"? I think it's when we adopt the attitude that it was "DEFINTELY the devil doing his thing, we were POWERLESS to move" or when we allow that experience to cause fear or doubts about our relationship with God to creep into our lives.
2 Tim 1:7 - "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
Though the spiritual realm is very real and yes satan does try to mess around, I personally feel that we should firstly be cautious to point our finger towards that thing with the horns. There are times when I've felt that I've been on the end of what seemed like a spiritual attack. But having reflected about some of these times, I've come to realize that some of these negative feelings actually arose from issues in my life that I had not resolved with God more than the devil trying to use his fork to prod me. (Ok, don't this point really relates to your experience specifically because your's happened rather involuntarily and quickly)
Secondly, even if it was a spiritual attack we should not allow that feeling of fear, doubt, etc. to linger in our lives. I'm glad that your first response to what you felt was to call upon God and praise Him that He responded in a tangible way to you. But let's try to take it another step further and reject any remnant fears in the name of Jesus because He has given us a spirit of power. Unpleasant as that experience may have been, let's not be afraid that the devil may try it again. If he wants to try again, bring it on! Cause this time we're more prepared and I'm sure the Holy spirit in me is going to kick the devil posterior! To sum it up in a term I've learnt in NS, be "garang".
Thirdly, do not conclude that because we've faced a spirtual attack, there is definitely something wrong in our lives. Though it's true that we can never be 100% Christ-like in this life, let's not go about bashing ourselves up thinking,"Perhaps I'm not seeking God correctly. If He was truly inside of me, I would not have experienced this spirtual attack. Is He really in my life in the first place?". To set the record straight yes, the Holy Spirit is inside of you and always will be when you received Him. He ain't the sort who walks out on people, we are the one's who choose to quench Him. Back to my former point, the devil does attack people who are doing fine spirtually (this does not mean we are satisfied with our current walk with God, we must always desire more!). I think of Job, pretty decent chap, you know the rest.
Fourthly, I don't think most of us are guilty of this but let's not go to the other extreme whereby we think that we must be doing something correct with God hence the devil wants to attack our lives. I think it is possible that people can contort matters in a perverse matter and think that,"Gosh, I'm going through so much opposition with this bunch of people, this must be a spiritual attack, which means I'm doing God's will because the devil attacks those who are spiritual strong. Therefore I must be doing the right thing and should persist." Such logic rides on a very slippery slope as a twisted sense of pride / self-righteousness overcomes the person being "attacked".
To summarize, always discern what's happening in our lives and examine our own lives first before blaming the devil. And even if it were a spiritual attack, let's rise above what the devil can feebly throw with God's anointing in our lives and grow spiritually instead of digressing into fear or discouragement.
Oh gosh, I hope I have not rambled on incessantly but I'm not exactly sure of your experience thus I've tried to cover the bases in my very limited capacity. Hope it has given you some insight and likewise for any other reader (coming up with this has taught me quite a bit). And yep, not directly related to your blogpost, my sensing is that you've been chionging a bit too much for your own good with kool camp, practices and the anxiety of band camp back then lah. Don't burn yourself out yah. Remember to always seek Him in the secret place everyday and prepare yourself / ourselves for the Youth Camp and whatever else our awesome God has prepared for us =).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
